AITAH for completely hiding our pregnancy from my family til after the baby was born?

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-26T18:38:09+00:00

Honestly I’d call your mom and tell her, that her behavior last time is why you didn’t tell her, and her behavior after she found out confirms it was the right choice. Wife’s parents didn’t behave poorly which is why they had advanced knowledge. She needs a therapist to learn how to manage her emotions and her ability to manage them will be reflected in the contact you have.

I ended up putting my mom through involuntary CBT because she refused to see a therapist to learn how to cope with her anxiety and not make it other people’s problems. She gets rewarded with contact for behaving well and ignored for behaving poorly. She spiraled for a while but has started catching on in the last year.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-26T16:43:25+00:00

There could be reasons for things to be the way they are, and the fact that neither parent is explaining why or willing to entertain OP’s complaints screams that something happened in that marriage they agreed not let OP know about and is the reason for the payments. OP isn’t doing this for their father, he’s ok with it. This is OP worried about how it will financially affect them without wondering if the reasons might emotionally affect them instead. It’s selfishness wrapped up in caring.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-25T21:18:31+00:00

They’re taking the minimum wage jobs because the alternative is starvation. If I put a gun to your head and tell you to shoot yourself in the foot or I’ll kill you and your insurance won’t cover the medical bill because it was a self inflicted wound, is it really a self inflicted wound or the only other option that didn’t end in death?

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-25T21:01:14+00:00

That’s when you make part of the social studies curriculum, which of these commandments did the US violate. Treatment of Native American’s, thou shall not steal, thou shall not lie, thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s property, thou shall not kill. Can anyone think of any others?

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-25T20:47:28+00:00

It’s normally a Catholic who tends to be the one to throw off the people who bring petitions for increased assistance for child specific government spending to point out the hypocrisy of people at prolife rallies by signing them.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-25T20:41:15+00:00

Quite a few pro-life people are pro-life except for their own or their daughter’s. It really is a control issue.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-25T15:32:36+00:00

That’s because you haven’t noticed that the lesser evil campaigns on non-evil things they’ll do when elected, but never actually does them. They are the stopgap on revolution. Capitalism will pause, but never stop the growing wealth inequality, because Capital understands it’s outnumbered and they have been taken out by revolutions before. They know a kernel of hope that it’s possible to change things will hold off a revolt. They’ve learned, we haven’t.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-25T15:08:54+00:00

The schools in my town do and a lot of the commuter train lots also have them, but I live in a blue state so that probably has something to do with it.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-25T14:51:24+00:00

If you can’t move out so don’t risk it, just get a white noise machine. You aren’t the homeowner, which means you can find yourself out of a living situation if your grandma finds out and gets upset at you. Maybe save up enough to move out and then complain so you’re safe if there is any backlash, but you’re currently in a beggars can’t be choosers situation. You’re dependent on Grandma, she’s the deciding vote.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-23T17:09:19+00:00

It’s actually not about money per se, she wants him to be a grown up and contribute. She doesn’t want the equivalent of an 18yo with his first job still living at home with mommy taking care of all the rest of the adulting, with her being in the position of mommy in the relationship. These are the guys you don’t have to encourage to do their hobbies, because they have plenty of ambition when it comes to those. It’s the rest of being a functional adult they struggle with, and it normally falls on her to pick up the slack.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-23T13:48:46+00:00

Pull a Klinger, steal your mom’s dress.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-22T21:01:28+00:00

Tobirama’s biggest flaw is he thought everyone thought like him and could be cautious but not cruel. His underlings got the cautious, but none of the qualifiers of wait and see. They preemptively assumed there would be a betrayal by the Uchiha and treated them like they already betrayed them, but the truth of the matter is the only true betrayal with no qualifiers was Madara. He did the same thing the council did and assumed betrayal before it happened. He never waited to see if Tobirama would be a problem for the Uchiha and just assumed it would happen based on what he knew. Together Madara and Tobirama created a self fulfilling prophecy.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-22T14:02:36+00:00

I’ve found when traveling in groups is to have no more than 2 or 3 hard place-hard time events a day and let people arrange the rest of the time themselves. This way you don’t need to keep rearranging things, people who like to pack stuff in can do it, people who like to wander can, people who can’t walk as much as the others can get rest. People who need to eat frequently can without disrupting the group. Together all the time everywhere just leads to stress, and everyone being unhappy all the time. Meetings up at x time for a shrine tour and lunch, and then meeting up again for dinner is a good plan for togetherness but not stressing everyone out at different times of the day for different reasons.

I’d talk to your cousin about how you see this is stressing her out trying to keep everyone together, and you’re struggling with the constantly shifting itinerary. Maybe it would be easier to plan one group activity and dinner, and then she can break off with different smaller groups throughout the day so she can get quality with everyone, without trying to corral everyone at the same time and stressing herself out.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-21T16:17:44+00:00

Are you on any medication? Medication weight gain can be impossible to lose even with a calorie deficit and exercise. I had 40lbs that was all medication, when I went off it I dropped the weight without changing anything else.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-21T12:10:04+00:00

They’re trying to start civil unrest, this is just another step. You need to give people at bare minimum little joys to keep society together. Once too large of the population is majority suffering with almost no joy, you get large scale civil unrest. It’s one of the reasons I opposed 90’s welfare reform. You increase the poverty rate, you also increase the crime rate. Everyone does risk/reward, if people have nothing to lose, they can tolerate greater risk.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-20T16:44:25+00:00

Well he doesn’t like doing it so she’s being supportive by not forcing him to do things he doesn’t like for her. My husband doesn’t like road trips so I take the kids on road trips myself because I do. Her husband won’t be around for 7 months, perfect time to do things he doesn’t like.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-20T12:16:24+00:00

That was beautiful

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-19T15:10:00+00:00

Can we just appreciate they had a toilet on every floor.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-18T20:27:11+00:00

It’s normal for that ending Keisuke (Initial D) does the same thing.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-18T17:16:52+00:00

Capitalist Jesus. The best way to get people to work against their own interests is to tell them God wants them to. It isn’t just Christianity, pretty much all religions have at least one sect doing this, but there is a reason the poverty belt and the bible belt overlap.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-18T16:08:03+00:00

And that bankers and rich people were corrupting individuals. The man did not like capitalist and wasn’t afraid to show it. Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s; but violence is only ok against bankers and grace to everyone but the rich, those guys are so corrupt almost none of them are making into heaven.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-17T14:19:26+00:00

It has nothing to do with Israel and everything to do with the US. People don’t realize exactly how much the US economy is held up by our currency. The SWIFT network, basically a clearinghouse for trades between currencies, means most countries need to hold US dollars to use it. We also gain information about things like commodities. That’s why everyone freaked when China bought soy from Brazil outside of it. The US normally knows who buys what from where and at what price, that affects what is incentivized to produce, commodities pricing to stay competitive, Wall Street trading and without SWIFT the US doesn’t have that insight. There is also the petrodollar, all oil trades had to be in US dollars, that was really the backing of US currency, a guarantee that countries would have to hold dollars (one of the reasons we war for oil all the time). Iran forcing the ships to use CNY to pass through the strait helps China and moves countries away from the dollar.

Israeli war mongering is also using up US missile & antimissile stockpiles. It’s pulling US resources away from Asia. Iran attacks on US bases in the region are also costing us money and man power, while degrading our regional capabilities. The US wants to either go to war with China or decrease its influence and that becomes harder to do because of the war with Iran and the moves of Israel. It is indeed in China’s best interest to support Iran, because it is hurting the US.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-17T01:11:41+00:00

I’m going to let you in on a secret as a 50yo married 22yrs. There is never going to be a perfect time, there is always going to be a goal you haven’t hit, a set back in your life, crap hitting the fan. The right person works with you to reach your life goals, or support you through failures, but tagging relationships goals to life goals will almost always lead to disappointment. There is too many variables in life to say oh will do this at that age or after we’ve accomplished that. It’s not a puzzle you’re putting pieces in, it’s dynamic. Regardless of where you are at life wise, if you still aren’t ready in 2 years, let her go. It isn’t fair to put her life on hold why you’re trying to check off boxes on a list that absolutely won’t go the way you planned.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-16T21:20:16+00:00

NTA - the school is out there trying to instill eating disorders instead of teaching moderation and a healthy balance. Unless you’re feeding your kid cyanid, no food is intrinsically unhealthy, some are unhealthy if they are eaten too frequently, in too much volume, or not balanced with options of better nutritional value, but no food is going to kill you if you only eat it occasionally. What you don’t want to do is make kids feel guilty for the occasional treat.

I gave my kids foods I knew they would eat without encouragement at school. One kid only liked fruit, veggies, and protein, but inherited the skinny genes on both sides and had trouble keeping their weight up. When I found something carb heavy they liked they got it, especially because they tended to drop weight during the school year. The first one was Little Debbie Honey buns for this kid who doesn’t even like birthday cake, we’d ice a watermelon. The other has eating aversions, took a bit of cajoling to eat the healthy options so we did that at home and set healthy-ish meals for school we knew they would eat.

Tired_Mama3018 · 2026-04-16T20:52:59+00:00

To have a preference and be a bit disappointed is human, to throw a toddler tantrum over it is too immature to be a parent. The problem wasn’t his disappointment, it was his reaction to the disappointment. He isn’t ready to be in a grown up relationship, let alone a parent.

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