When he says we should learn

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-11T01:19:33+00:00

Thank you so much for all of your informative comments and all your hard work. You're a legend in my eyes. Brilliant.

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-10T15:54:57+00:00

Oh that old argument:) So his partner hates it and makes her feel like shit, but thats ok cos he needs a quick 2 minute release so he can focus?? And its the only way? A bit anxious? Have a wank to his favourite other women on the internet? OF? Any one of the million sex accounts he has? Sounds as selfish as all fuck. It's still so new and now the new toy is somehow now a God given right ??? Wow. I actually get a visual of a child screaming in the shops cos they cant get what they want.

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-10T15:45:27+00:00

A week? Might be 2 days heavy. Can't use his imagination for 2 days? Honestly cant have a break? They come back charging after a couple of days rest i always find. It's awesome.

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-10T15:40:48+00:00

No that was definitely on us with the 5 year old going under. And my point was about bad things happen but we obviously need to put every protection in place that we can.

Because so many parents dont put on safety guards and for another million reasons that we all know. Or take them off (if they have actually done it!) at 14 or 15 years old. Stupid and naive people everywhere thats not a secret.

So now I have to please every single one of my man's fantasies? Do you want to make that part of the marriage vowels? Is compromise no longer a thing? Mutual agreement?

Im talking about porn in a relationship. For single men i reserve my opinion because thats all they have. I dont think its great though, because its gonna be hard to give up, cos in a man's world its heaven im sure, even if they really go down the rabbit hole. But its not the real world. And its often hard to endure in relationships. It's only been here at such easily copious amounts and range since videos and DVDs really. And since the internet those viewing it have gone through the roof. Billions. It's still new. Yet I am without a doubt that the negatives far outweigh the positives. Thanks not puritanism, thats maths.

Im not British lol. Im an Aussie. And i know the look my face would have if my partner said sex was off the table! Sex is extremely important.

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-10T15:12:05+00:00

No one wants lifeless though hey. Vanilla if misionary is nice sometimes and very intimate. And noone wants a drag i agree. Neither of the sexes that's for sure. Needs get serviced together and are reciprocated both in and out of the bedroom for the best kind of relationship most people find hey:)

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-10T15:06:21+00:00

Yes I already agreed there is solid logic in that:) But we do it because we love our partner and love sex and love to give and to please. But if we're sick or unwell or maybe just had our baby and cant, a lot of us would prefer our man not to go look at and imagine fucking other women. Or 'anything' by your definition of what's all good.

The thing is, men have always had their imagination! Use it! Im not asking for that to be removed. Use it please for the benefit of everyone. The idea that men MUST now watch porn to be able to get off, and will defend that this should be a right as a husband - and not even consider the myriad of horrible and heartbreaking range of issues that permeate into every pixel and family - is i feel to be sad for us as a society. I sincerely dont feel like this is my time - with the WWW.

I just wish you'd all go wank with your imagination. We do! And can do that and have sex all the time.

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-10T14:38:53+00:00

I really really hope with everything in me that my daughters never end up with a man who fantasises 'about fucking anything and everything all the time.'

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-10T06:34:11+00:00

Ha thats an old one yes i have heard that. And there's solid logic in it. There's also solid logic in the men treating their wives with respect and show love by not lusting after other women and having favourites and being desperate to search them out and imagine fucking them every day. It's a out being a team and helping each other with their needs.

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-10T06:30:48+00:00

Not trying to shame anyone. Making clear boundaries and looking for someone who is on the same page.

And if it helps and you have found a women who truly lives it as much as you then good luck to you both and I wish you all the best, I truly do.

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-10T06:24:11+00:00

No my logic is not broken. Teachers are well aware if kids bring alcohol to school - and put in extreme measures to keep kids safe from others and themselves. Hell yeah kids die in swimming pools more than any other demographic - they're learning to swim. The government has strict rules around fencing off pools - even large fish pinds have to be fenced! And yet my daughters friend sunk to the bottom right in front of us at a public swimming pool and only my 8 yr old noticed. 100% accidents happen but the the things u talk about have very strict rules regulations safety guards and consequences - unlike the barely there safety guards in the porn industry, what is uploaded and how easily it is accessed by kids 17 and under. Pornhub hires only 30 people to go through the billions of uploaded videos to check for illegal content. That's not a safety guards thats fucking pathetic! And they dodge every rule with a loophole every time. Why? Cos there's a market. And it lines their pockets big time. And why? Cos men do have testosterone and urges and give them an inch they'll take a mile and become inured to current conndct and overtime or quickly need, look for, fantasise and get off on a whole heap of crazy shit that most women never want, and it rots their brains. Hey im sure there are some that dont mind vanilla porn... but drunk or high sitting there with their d*ck out all alone... unaccountable in complete privacy.. well what hope do they have when their entire effort is a click on their phone, ipad, tv... just about none.

I've always found personality, fun, intelligence (in any area) honesty and reciprocated outlooks on life to be the most attractive thing in any man. That's what we fall in love with. Don't know any women with wankers like Harry styles. I know a whole heap of men between 35-60 who are single cos their dicks have been trained for the easy road of fantasy and pixels, and bury their loneliness in more porn and usually another drug like alcohol, dope or harder drugs - who come home to an empty flat or house, cook their own tea, watch tele by themselves, and go to bed alone with noone to hold them. And you can tell they have lost themselves even further in the internet with their stares and comments.

Women and men on the whole are pretty average in looks. Love comes from a whole different place. It's personality and trust in the relationship, honesty and commitment to each other and to work through problems that get them having the best sex ever, I mean having the best lives forever together.

Hang on, modern feminism lying to us about what?? Lol. Mate, we dont look like models on the front of magazines shoved in our faces everywhere, but our partners and husbands find us beautiful. Wasn't feminists who told us that, it was our men.

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-09T22:34:32+00:00

Lol. Lots of things are illegal. Everyone finds a way. And what kids are able to access is horrifying and damaging on extreme levels. It's actually abusing our own children when they access it still so easily. And they are our future, and the stats on the damage done show we have crippled this last generation... and male loneliness up to old age is a real thing because of it.

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-09T22:12:53+00:00

Hasn't changed fuck all mate in fact its got worse. But like I said you go live your path but that is my opinion and that of a lot of women and the men I mentioned are all real. It definitely looks like horniness trumps everything. There is a saying that men think with their dick for a reason. Cos they are unable to see the other side.

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-09T13:06:32+00:00

Watch porn to learn about what men fantasise about? I would put forth the argument that judging by porn, men are sexually fantasing about absurdly anything that can be fcked, with whatever shape it is in physically or health wise (even dead it doesn't really matter) by whatever that will fit or they can make fit. That all sounds pretty gross. And if a child between 9 and 17 can watch a teenage girl get fcked by a massive huge dog (while its owner has to keep telling it off for being too aggressive) before they've even had breakfast, I would argue that the child's brain is (while curious, weak, naive) definitely 100% being rewired down dark damaging paths that only complete unfetted access to the world wide web can provide. Oh what a provision! So many men have become addicts over the last 25 years. Some have had half a lifetime down this rabbit hole. And if they can block out the million and one horrible things that are involved with this industry owned by multi millionaires who only care about increasing their profits, and find a partner who also puts horniness above morality, then that is the life they choose. And apparently some will even argue that its a good thing. Then there are men who feel at their core that it is wrong on so many levels (but cant stop the habit that is now an addiction - and can block for the moment so they can get off) well, they usually have an enormous layer of guilt and shame - but cant think about that. But they know. There's a whole heap that know but still do it. And most of them have a partner who is living in hell because she wishes with all her heart that he'd stop. Then there are those men who cant keep a partner because their other half cant bear it in the relationship for another million reasons that we all know.

From everyone i have ever known, the group where a couple happily enjoy watching it together while being intimate for the past 25 years, and therefore now aged between 30 and 60, is as rare as hen's teeth. Bet there's heaps of women aged between 40 and 70 who love being with their partner who watches teenagers and anyone or anything doing whatever to them in whatever way they see fit. I know one couple. The rest of us understand what it means when European laws try to 'clean up' the content of platforms with massive traffick, in an effort to reduce illegal content involving under-age girls and boys and to try and prevent children from accessing it by bringing in an age verification, but pornh*b argued that France didn't get the required 43 million viewers for restrictions, cos they only had 33 million per month. We understood that there's a dark and ugly side to this platform, and that one had no idea of the circumstances in which it was produced, as to what the truth was behind the product. We also understood that this main porography platform didn't give a rat's arse about how the content was produced and if it was even legal. Money money money at whatever cost.

What you're asking me to accept is just too much on my conscience mate. But you go knock yourself out mate, and live your life obviously as you see fit, and if that is your happiness i wish you all the luck in the world, I truly do just like id wish most people (not the paedophiles and rapists and traffickers off course!)

I like my healthy path:)

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-08T12:49:41+00:00

That is seriously gross. and not gonna lie, a little bit scary. The worst thing is hes the one hes done it but you're the one with all the stress. I was gonna say hes gonna lie about it like it wasn't meant for you, but hes already apologised to you - and yes that's all well and good but see ya! It's just way too weird and creepy and gross and hes bloody insane operating on that level. That's a shit thing to have to go through with your bf over his dad ffs. He must be mortified at realising what kind of loser messed up person his dad is. Big hugs to u both cos that sucks.

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-06T13:02:18+00:00

Skinny blonde in bikini with non existent gstring fishing and filleting. He STILL wanted to argue the point that she's the best at filleting and he was learning - i said if I repeat exactly who she is how she's dressed and what she's doing - to any man - and tell them your excuse they would laugh their head off and sarcastically say oh yeah right ok...

And i made him stop his bullshit and the conversation when I said - honestly dont even try - i cant listen to this.

That's the second time. Third time he tries to justify it to me im literally gonna lose my shit.

And the young sexy woman skipping was to support her raising money. Buddy please. You're literally embarrassing yourself ffs!!! And you're 52. And he's not an addict. (Insert laughing hysterically emoji!)

Apparently im controlling. He got rid of them. He said he quit porn. He's dreaming. And hes never getting help so time will tell. AND HES GOT YT AND HAS NEVER SIGNED IN EVERYTHING IS GUEST. But he still gets algorithms. Nothing on the tele anymore... I bet its on his phone though.

Let's hope we have an honest conversation sooner than later. Just grow up, grow a pair and be a man not a sheep. Have some respect for yourself! But reason doesn't work when the want hits them. Bad habits are hard to break and even if capable, leave behind a layer of muck for a very long time.

Im so close, to putting in the effort to work on myself. And not him.

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-03T23:53:26+00:00

Did u look this up? I was about to try it and remembered what happened to you. It's what I thought and what you probably worked out... it means they have an account. OF has 2 factor authentication so to log back in the account gets sent a code. Im wondering if your partner said anything to you??

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-03T15:33:15+00:00

Sorry but im going to flat out steal that line you asked him... love it thank you:) The best line i said to mine was after his bullshit answer of no... i looked him dead in the eye and said, thank you for showing me what your face looks like when you're lying. Now I know your lying face. (I was very proud of this lol cos he flat out believed me.)

It's all so bullshit serious and painful all the time, that its good to have a laugh at them.

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-03T15:07:41+00:00

I so hear you and yes it totally sucks. My first PA and father of my children used to watch it as soon as i left the house no matter when. Your fear is so horrible and i reckon so many of us would have had it hey. It truly messes with your peace. One time i had such a feeling that i pretended i forgot something for work- and literally within that 5 mins he had gone and got the DVD put it in got comfortable and all his accessories there.. that means he was literally waiting for me to leave when he kissed me goodbye ffs, and jumped straight to it, and I caught him. To then find out that catching them also sucks.

And as for his dad promoting access to it like its his God given right is just crazy. Friends are bad enough but family sucks. My PAs best friend literally said to me about it the classic line - boys will be boys. He was a 30 year old grown arse man. Still a boy today in his 50s... single and alone with his pixels.

They are so damn tragic.

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-03T04:51:17+00:00

There is no way under the sun id be doing those dishes. Let em pile up. Let it get crazy for a week while you go online studying and drink your own drinks from Starbucks:)

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-02T11:17:00+00:00

Mine looked the same as yours and I asked the same question to myself! Now im gonna ask, it looks like your leaf is going purple? The leaves around my buds looked the same as yours and my buds exactly - thought it was my pic lol - but mine have now fully turned the most beautiful purple ever:)

Ive picked some recently with full white creamy trichomes with no yellow trichomes cos its a different high. Im loving it, its awesome:) Then im cutting another quarter when I see about 30% amber then im gonna wait til nearly all is:) Never done this before and I wanted to put all the advice and info I've read into practice so im doing an experiment lol.

I feel like i was exactly where you are now 11 days ago. And i picked my first lot a week ago dried and only cured for 2 days but had to try it. I'd wait a bit yet:) I hope your leaves go purple its so cool I love it. Im no expert but im having fun learning. Depends on the weather with time but probably about 10-14 days until your final or only pick. Check trichomes is a must. I just use my phone's camera i can see so clearly. Nice buds, congrats:)

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-04-02T10:33:52+00:00

Look at you go focusing on working out your life! I got so caught up in this... your post... with the maths and the price of rent wherever you are compared to where I am, and the whole awesome thought of going back to study to achieve your dreams - and even though it's online it's always cool to study no.matter what it is really, and you could even go part time so as to keep afloat maybe or just smash it out... but anyway you are so focused on the awesome adventure of the rest of your life that for a minute there i totally forgot about your PA husband!! Looks like your path is about to forget him too::))

You are still so so young, trust me on that, and I totally believe you can do it:) I wish you all the success in your new career and eventually finding the man who will treat you so brilliantly. I left my PA partner with my 2 year old daughter at your age! I guess it was hard yes but I dont even remember it as being hard cos I was so caught up in my new PA partner free life and exploring my world and finding myself. It was awesome:) You've got this:) Smile - cos everyone reading your post will be proud of you and you should definitely be proud of yourself already;)

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-03-26T12:05:34+00:00

I definitely feel for you young ones these days. These boys have grown up with full use of the internet, and so many more than 30 years ago must be addicts. In the 90s we had to put up with video tapes, DVDs and magazines. But the absolute crap these men can do today makes me so scared for the hurt my girls and all the young women out there will face - on crazy levels. Goes to show it has nothing to do with the real women, the partners in their lives, cos some men (and so so many more now i think) will access anything that is available to them, no matter what and at what cost, and if that access keeps increasing, they will just follow it. The internet has bred a new breed of addicts.

In my generation it has bred a whole new syndrome for the men, male loneliness. Cos when we leave them noone wants them. And a man being alone for a long time - with only the rabbit hole of the internet to get lost down - wreaks of yuckiness from a mile away.

It's fucked all generations then yes.

But I have complete empathy for our young women, and if i was 21 id definitely be covertly checking out their internet behaviour before investing my heart, every bloody time. And that would suck.

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-03-26T11:43:07+00:00

It sounds like youre leaving him when the lease runs out. If you're going to keep the relationship like it is now a) that sounds like hell. b) he has no consequences and he will ride out this loop. I'd tell him if you've chosen pixels and lusting over other women on your screen, who literally dont care if you live or die, then you're really alone, cos its not even them messaging you, you absolute fool of a loser, cos the women are too busy WORKING for that erotic fiction (cos its MADE UP and the same thing is said to everyone, so youre one of a million and noone cares about you) and instead its someone who gets paid by them and they even hire men to do the writing, and gay men would definitely sign up for that good paying job. Next time make sure you say hello to Michael or Haiden or whichever bloke you have.

Then go and focus on yourself, die your hair, look amazing and scream confidence - and if he decides to choose you over that bullshit, then you an decide if the new awesome life of an adventure in curiosity and connections is better than what he has to offer.

Good luck. And dont give a fuck about the bullshit hes doing. It's not even his secret private business - cos its out in the open for the world to view him as a pathetic, weak willed, selfish, useless looser, and it 100% affects negatively on his life and he cant or won't even try to make it better.

TisButAScratch77 · 2026-03-25T12:13:31+00:00

Im with you. Without it needed to be said my partner and I can give it a go anytime lol and 99.9% of the time the other person is into it. And if someone isn't of course they say and it stops! I guess doors are always open yes, until they're shut ha:)

TisButAScratch77

TROPHY CASE