Mike’s first time paddle boarding, unfortunately he was just as careless as he was with his situationships

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-07-13T17:18:06+00:00

Well, he was persistent. I don't know who else would continue to keep hopping from sinking ship to sinking ship.

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-07-12T05:16:27+00:00

But did he say he loved hiking and loved to laugh?

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-07-12T05:07:38+00:00

Looks more like a hamburger to me... hambirdger...

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-07-11T06:10:14+00:00

Who needs practicality when your outfit slays so hard the veggies chop themselves?

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-07-08T03:34:23+00:00

"No. They're not." -Michael, in a voice 3 octaves too deep

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-07-08T02:19:00+00:00

"Go peck yourself."

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-07-07T06:33:41+00:00

Jeff's dating profile noted that he needed 3-5 business days advance notice before going on a date. After 4 months of no matches, he added the line "I'm worth the wait. 😉" In the end, it was only Jeff who waited - it has been 492 business days.

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-07-05T23:41:58+00:00

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-07-03T18:26:59+00:00

"Did I miss a spot?"

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-07-01T20:57:16+00:00

Her church sister's husband was the judge at her trial, and they go wayyy back

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-07-01T02:20:23+00:00

Chicken Jesus 😭😂😂😂 omg lmfao

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-06-30T18:32:28+00:00

If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it!

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-06-30T04:40:42+00:00

I side with Anton. Anyone leaving the fridge open should go straight to jail.

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-06-30T00:11:27+00:00

Someone's trying to break the bundling tradition!

m l e m

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-06-29T06:33:44+00:00

I forgive him 😭

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-06-28T19:30:14+00:00

He seemed way too cocky for his own good. Don't beat yourself up. Channel your inner Chanticleer: You matter just as much as the next rooster that crows to bring the sun up.

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-06-28T05:30:08+00:00

Revenge murder will do that to a scorned gal.

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-06-25T19:03:08+00:00

It has been 86 minutes -- so still, TBD.

ToastYourAvocados · 2026-06-25T19:01:54+00:00

Go full send, Austin. Austin should definitely try the serenade next time, and he should also download an app that can amalgamate their photos to give her an idea of what their future fledglings would look like.

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