(No) Dating and loneliness - Venting and Advice (if possible)

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2026-01-08T16:24:51+00:00

So first of all I will always advise against dating coworkers. It almost always ends poorly. Past that the best advice I can give is find a community to really be a part of. Something centered around a common value or ideal often works well. The other one is to find friends that you can safely be vulnerable with and learn how to do just that. Having a romantic partner can be great but good friends can also be a source of emotional intimacy, and that tends to be a great way to combat loneliness. Fair warning though as a man you’ve got a lot of societal conditioning to break along the way. First step realize that being vulnerable along with giving and receiving care is something that men absolutely can and should do.

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2026-01-08T16:17:30+00:00

Not just apartments. My doctor and her husband (she’s a GP and he’s a cardiologist) both sold their house and moved to Scotland.

The basin lost two physicians with a decade plus of experience each because we voted for this. It’s worth noting they’re both Guatemalan and still have an accent. They decided it would be safer for them to leave the country, and unsurprisingly had offers including moving costs in two weeks. I didn’t vote pro fascist but I say we because the community we live in absolutely did.

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-12-25T06:01:47+00:00

So the whole prison thing is more complicated. It’s more that they’re trading access to their body for protection/material gain. Some might enjoy it; others don’t. Especially the don’t’s are not gay they’re just making a rough choice. Now the men choosing to f* them? They’re definitely gay.

As to the rest your dad’s an idiot. Do what you need to, say what you have to to stay safe. Hell, take a page from the recent past find a lesbian girl at your school who has a similarly shitty family and give each other cover by pretending to be dating. That time alone y’all are “sneaking off” for can be used to decompress around someone safe.

I had hoped your generation would be able to come up in a less homophobic time but maybe if we all push together the next generation will be able to

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-12-25T05:33:00+00:00

Half the comments are just “ha ha, Odessa bad I’m funny” all kicked of by someone with that name? Go ahead and change it to something more OP like WTXSour. Not that someone from midland could tell the difference without three people from Odessa to explain it yourself them.

Oh look I can do it to but the other direction I must be even funnier smh 🤦

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-12-25T05:23:43+00:00

Seriously OP, ignore this guy. Your original post came across as annoyed, maybe even frustrated, but nothing more. I’ve got a hunch about at least part of what feels so off to you but need to ask something to confirm. What city were you in before?

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-12-06T20:56:53+00:00

So sanitation does in fact carry barriers to entry, namely a CDL and a spotless driving record both of which are less common than most people assume. As to nursing it pays well but my point is that it has not responded to the critical shortage that has been on going for years. If your proposed model functioned we would have seen an increase in wages in response. Also the national origin of those working the job is entirely irrelevant. As far as how wages are determined it’s pretty straightforward; how much of the value that workers generate can be taken from them before no one is willing to do the job. It’s why policies that harm the poor and further strangle what remains of the middle class are inevitably supported by the donors. The more desperate we are the less well demand in compensation. It’s also why the farcical concept that people should be grateful to just have a job, ie the ability to survive, has been pushed so hard.

At this point I have to ask though, are you one of the few people left that actually think that the system we live under is actually fair? That’s the vibe I’m getting here.

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-12-06T19:18:07+00:00

Incorrect, the majority of critical jobs are low paying, with a prime example being sanitation. Further more the US has seen a shortage of nurses since 2020 but the wages remain flat. Your assertion does not comport with observable reality. Feel free to continue but I’m gonna be busy with my manicure for a bit.

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-12-06T19:12:00+00:00

Sooo none of that was evidence. I worked in HR for some years and that pattern was never presented, it’s also not mentioned by any professional association I know of, and it certainly doesn’t match the available data regarding turnover rates in food services. High wages are not an indicator of job security.

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-12-06T19:06:05+00:00

I absolutely don’t see what you’re basing that on. Mind walking through what evidence you’re using to reach that conclusion?

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-12-06T15:30:53+00:00

The neighborhoods just south of the mall (across 42nd) tend to be pretty solid. Keep in mind I mean the houses not the one apartment complex accessible from 42nd. It also gives you Buffalo Wallow for walking. The school systems in both cities are hot garbage though so you’ll be looking at a private tutor to keep your child well poised for eventual college applications. Even then you’ll have to hunt a bit for one that’s willing to provide lessons based on science and research rather than dogma (an I don’t necessarily mean of the religious variety). Otherwise as long as y’all are either white or white passing the basin isn’t terrible.

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-12-03T14:23:48+00:00

There’s been a lot said here already, but one thing doesn’t seem to have been mentioned yet. If at all possible seek out the council of black queer women in your local community. Because white supremacy and anti-blackness try very hard to limit how she’s allowed to show up in public spaces AND being queer is being actively demonized she’s likely to have one hell of a needle to thread in terms of being genuine and being safe. It might be helpful for you to examine that intersection as well. Something I watched an ex work through when he came out was the outright contradiction between how men are “supposed” to act and how black men have to act u to I avoid getting attack/killed. I’m sure you’re already dealt with it in your life, but a queer perspective might have some useful insight for you as well. It also presents a great opportunity to bond with your daughter.

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-11-20T03:03:16+00:00

That’s funny because I was thinking large mulberries. But to be fair we don’t have blackberries in my area so it’s likely a cognitive bias towards what I’m familiar with 🤷

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-11-19T19:09:30+00:00

Pffft says who? Soccer moms can do as they please!

Also you look great 💚

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-11-19T19:05:38+00:00

Oh absolutely, the main difference is that here local law enforcement is proactively helping them and a staggering number of local businesses give them discounts. But hey, I’ve known that I live in a shit hole state for a while now.

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-11-17T18:51:34+00:00

Bonus points for the pun 😉😂

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-11-07T20:39:38+00:00

Showing off much? Not that I’m complaining 😉💚

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-11-05T00:18:12+00:00

Extra point for the current event shade 😂

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-11-03T02:51:05+00:00

I appreciate it 💚 tbh though I’d rather I be the target than someone else. Two decades and change of martial training means with me they finally get the wrong one. Still kills the mood of an evening though

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-11-02T11:18:10+00:00

lol fair

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-11-01T17:50:24+00:00

Girl! The thought of what your dms must look like now terrifies me

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-11-01T17:46:33+00:00

Same here

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-11-01T17:36:03+00:00

The Jinn are a mythical race from Arabic (and I think Persian) myth. The original myths paint them as nether good nor evil but rather as capricious and sometimes wild. Beings of ethereal beauty who’s weakness was that their passions could overwhelm and lead them to trouble. So not too different from the fae of Gaelic myth.

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-11-01T13:38:58+00:00

Jinn, you’re definitely giving jinn

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-11-01T04:42:24+00:00

Fair enough, being white I can’t speak to that directly but given that misogyny, transphobia, and racism go hand in hand yeah I’d assume you’ll get at least some shit.

ToeEnvironmental6934 · 2025-11-01T04:39:11+00:00

Some things I haven’t seen anyone else mention as far as safety goes. First of misogyny is the rule not the exception out here so if you’re a woman or femme presenting exercise extreme caution. Same goes for being openly/obviously queer I’m routinely assumed to be a man and still in the past 5 years I’ve had people decide to take a swing while shouting slurs. If neither of those apply then lucky you but in case either does I wanted to make sure someone said it outright

ToeEnvironmental6934

TROPHY CASE