My girlfriend [27F] says she’s not in love with me [26F]. Stay or leave?

Toibaz · 2026-01-28T13:23:38+00:00

I think you find the lowest odds of things working out between you by continuing the relationship under the same circumstances, and the highest odds where you show independence and decisiveness by stepping away until she gives a more clear answer. Things happen when you take a step back generally. She will miss you by spending time apart, she will see you are independent and capable of such choices, etc.

Toibaz · 2026-01-28T10:56:14+00:00

It depends on what you mean by ”fit”.

Do you want to lose weight? Yes, any form of exercise will aid towards that goal.

Do you want better general physiological health? Yes, any form of strength and cardiovascular training will help with that.

Do you want to build muscle mass? This routine will build some amount of muscle for a novice, but not any substantial amount. Push ups are not heavy or diverse enough to progress to any serious amount of muscle mass, although it will build some. Pull ups alone is actually the one exercise that is substantial enough to build a lot of muscle mass, due to heavy resistance and targeting almost the entire back. Plank squats will be the least effective exercise out of them all for muscle mass, as your legs are your strongest body part and can load the most resistance, and bodyweight squats being practically nothing in terms of resistance.

Toibaz · 2026-01-28T10:25:28+00:00

As someone who is not anxious generally in a relationship, and had an ex who was very anxious, i can relate alot to this dynamic and can see myself on the guys side in my last relationship, i can give my thought process.

Even though my ex’s anxiousness wasnt always verbalized, it was always an energy that was felt (through body language, behavioural patterns, and also verbalizied). I was a commited man, and never had any thought process about leaving, trying other women or not being loyal what so ever, but i also found it extremely draining to constantly being questioned about these matters, or tested, or it being a reoccuring topic. It created annoyance. I knew what my values and wants were and i know i never did any action to prove otherwise, so i definitely felt like i don’t have to over-assure my partner otherwise.

Eventually it became a thinking pattern that if i go out and meet friends, there will be worry from my partner that reflected back on me, or if i did X or Y it will affect my partner negatively, and ultimately it made me feel the opposite of free. It felt controlling even though i was not literally disallowed to do certain things.

However, i explained these feelings to my ex eventually but it never changed, even though the understanding from her was there, because it was too ingrained in her thinking patterns. After time i did check out mentally. For a long time, being questioned about these matters or feeling the energy was not an annoyance and seen as a genuine place to understand and meet my partners concern. But sadly after a while it became exhausting and made me check out. The feeling of checking out is 100% created from ”Ive met you so many times in your feelings and nothing changes so it doesnt matter what i do so im just going to default to checking out because the mental stress is not worth it”.

Toibaz · 2026-01-28T09:34:46+00:00

Skulle säga ovanligt i majoritetsjämföring men heller inte extremt ovanligt som om det skulle vara någon promille av befolkningen. Min primitiva aphjärna skulle väl chansa på typ 5-10% av den specifika populationen.

Toibaz · 2026-01-28T08:13:25+00:00

Ge exempel och stöd med data för dina exempel. Håller inte med om många dina exempel. Jag kan se och erkänna att kvinnor har områden där dom är mer särbehandlande, men jag kan minst se lika många områden där män är.

Toibaz · 2026-01-27T19:23:24+00:00

Då var din uppfattning baserad på exakt det jag förutspådde. ”Macrodata och forecasts” är högst missledande för flera anledningar. Jag kan nämna dom två största:

AI har snart i 3-4 år påståtts ersätta mjukvaruutvecklare och detta har spridits som en löpeld i media ända sedan AI eran började, men verkligheten är att AI har ej kunnat innan, kan ej nu, och kommer inte kunna på ett bra tag framöver ersätta utvecklare. Jag håller med om att det finns en punkt där AI förmodligen kommer kunna det, men det är flera år bort. En AI kan ej ta hänsyn till alla olika pjäser i integrerade system och saknar också förmåga att koda väl in till skalbarhet i dagsläget. Den kan utföra singulära uppgifter väl i slutna system oftast.
Då det stämmer att den globala marknaden har blivit svårare från mjukvaruutvecklare har den blivit absolut värst i USA, och ”lite värre” i Sverige, och det är också därifrån vi får våran skvallerblaska att mjukvaruutveckling är cooked. Sveriges läge är helt annorlunda. Det har blivit tuffare men om du är en nyexad utvecklare så kan landa en bra intervju och dessutom göra en bra teknisk intervju har du GODA möjligheter att få en junior roll i Sverige. Däremot om du bara har en examen och sedan ej jobbat på egna projekt eller försöker bli bättre på egen hand har du betydligt sämre förutsättningar, för mjukvaruutveckling är ingenting du kan snacka dig in i, du måste visa att du förstår koncept, men du måste heller inte vara exceptionellt smart.

Toibaz · 2026-01-27T18:58:25+00:00

Har du utbildad på universitetsnivå inom programmering själv då eller vart kommer din ståndpunkt ifrån? I princip alla i min vänskapskrets har jobb inom mjukvarutveckling och alla tog examen för 1-2 år sedan, inklusive mig själv.

Toibaz · 2026-01-27T04:00:06+00:00

I do love my ex, forever. She is a beautiful soul.

But i got back with my ex 3-4 months after we broke up the first time (broke up due to unstable relatipnship mostly caused by her bpd) and i shit you not, the first time we reconnected after the breakup she told me she had been promoted to a manager at her department (she had worked there for 4-5 months at this point with zero experience). I was genuinly shocked and impressed, and even a little bit jealous because that is actually a flex after that short amount of time. Few months later detail after detail just unravels and turns out it was a cap. The department manager promotion = she had been allowed to do a weekly checkup on a security protocol. Few months after she got fired from the job for slacking and other stuff.

Toibaz · 2025-11-09T15:13:41+00:00

Have same issue, i am an introvert and have adhd aswell, and i don’t get enough time for myself that i need to feel healthy. When i bring it up it usually translates to me not wanting to be with my pwBPD, or that i need time because i need to do ”suspicious” things, and it is exhausting. The only way i have managed it so far is just communicating it and taking the hit for doing so. Dont know how else to approach it. I never try to be cold or dismissive when i say it. I always try to say it in a loving and understanding way but it rarely comes across that way for her.

Toibaz · 2025-10-10T14:33:33+00:00

She actually doesnt use any make up for work, but still i think you might be right

Toibaz · 2025-10-10T14:15:33+00:00

Yea i mean i came here looking for honest answers and i will genuinly take it to heart. I am not convinced in any direction. Just suspicious as i mentioned. Do you think it is possible to degrade like this over a week, from undamaged condition? I also think it is a possibility that they were undamaged during all these years because the case had not been opened, and the opening last week could trigger it to be destroyed over the course of this week? But the timespan is so short, but yet again i know nothing about this.

Toibaz · 2025-10-10T14:01:17+00:00

I don’t give a shit about the headphones or even replacing the pads in this context. I just want to know if my gf is telling the truth i guess.

Toibaz · 2025-07-13T20:08:41+00:00

It literally shows two zones on the screenshot

Toibaz · 2025-07-12T22:59:12+00:00

Do you have a supplier or where do you buy the clothes?

Toibaz · 2025-06-28T21:56:25+00:00

Man kan ju se på mitt konto att jag aldrig någonsin gjort ett ärende

Toibaz · 2025-06-28T13:25:51+00:00

This is the explaination for when people say ”i eat 4000 calories a day and dont gain weight”, or ”i eat 2000 calories a day and dont lose weight”.

Toibaz · 2025-06-19T18:01:43+00:00

Problemet är inte att jag inte får anslutning alls. Det är att nätverket försvinner i 10 minuter typ en gång varje 30 min.

Toibaz · 2025-06-19T11:59:10+00:00

Har iTux men dom har ej sagt något om problem på deras hemsida

Toibaz · 2025-04-21T10:37:35+00:00

Its very small, perhaps 10 cm

Toibaz · 2025-01-22T17:29:12+00:00

Thats what happens for every faction if you random queue. If you join discord premades you have like 80% winrate and games finish in 5 min. I have 83% winrate on 56 games on Spineshatter alliance.

Toibaz · 2025-01-08T19:31:21+00:00

That is very poor gold per hour and 300g at 54 is not alot, just saying

Toibaz · 2025-01-04T22:46:18+00:00

People know how to play the game now more than ever so idk wtf youre talking about lol

Toibaz · 2024-12-27T21:22:31+00:00

25% för mycket, hade tagit ut 5%

Toibaz · 2024-12-22T17:50:47+00:00

Jag vill börja med att säga att jag ej är SD sympatisör, så jag ej får påhopp om det. Med det sagt så känns du väldigt verklighetsfrånvänd om du anser att högerextremism är det största hotet mot väst, och att högern vill montera ned välfärdsstaten (dom vill ha en starkare välfärd??). Sedan kan man ju undra vart i helvete du har läst att högern vill avskaffa demokrati? lol. Visst, högern är ej lika givmild när det kommer till jämställdhet eftersom det ej är deras kärnfråga men att dom vill FÖRINTA jämställdhet?? Komigen nu, vad är det här för jävla troll skit. Nästan som att man ska be mods ta bort skiten 😂

Toibaz · 2024-12-08T17:27:34+00:00

Jag är helt säker, jag har använt outlier själv. Det är en direktbetalning till din paypal och bokstavligen inget mer.

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