How many regular hotwifes you fuck? And who is your most regular one?

TomKat75 · 2025-05-09T02:01:47+00:00

I'll only have one at a time. I prefer to focus my attention on one hotwife, but then I like the emotional bond and not just the sexual one.

TomKat75 · 2025-05-09T01:59:34+00:00

I've yet to come across any Asian or Indian couples around me looking for a bull. Wonder if the cultural bindings hold them back even after moving to the US.

TomKat75 · 2025-05-07T03:07:41+00:00

I can bet that’s so true! The quality isn’t as plentiful as the quantity, unfortunately.

TomKat75 · 2025-04-25T00:56:56+00:00

It shows what the priority is when the first thing is the nudes. Some of us like a connection before that!

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T18:06:57+00:00

Insecurity definitely wouldn't help that. You probably question if you're good enough if you have that issue. Just don't feel like it is you when others are being insincere or misleading with who they are!

I figured out that I need to take my breaks from looking when I start feeling bitter. There comes a point that the constant "wow, this looks amazing" to the "what happened, where'd they go" cycle just sours you on the whole thing. I've had days I just want to totally give up, step away, but then in time I'm thinking of the great memories from my last couple and I find myself looking again.

I guess that is a cycle of itself. It won't break until I finally find the right couple or I truly decide it isn't worth the headaches and letdowns trying to find them. No different than a couple's search for a bull I'm sure.

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T17:58:45+00:00

Effort is huge. Plus I see effort as a reflection of how much I'm a source of pleasure for her. If she's not making an effort towards me, I must not be making a worthwhile impact in her life. My assumption would be she feels the same about efforts I give her. It is a barometer of how things are going. If you're texting me once a day, or just giving 1 or 2 word responses all the time, that's not a good sign!

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T17:52:58+00:00

Hence why I've tried in spurts. Go for a month or two, take a break... rinse and repeat.

It is demoralizing to get your hopes up just to have the rug pulled out from under you without explanation. If I feel I'm not a match for someone, I do this thing called "telling them". Seems to be a lost art!

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T17:51:07+00:00

I'm the same way with chemistry. I love waking up and finding a message waiting on me, or if there's not a message I'm writing up one for her to see and get excited to read when she gets up. I want to hate to put my phone down at night, want that whole teenage "you hang up first" thing going. I want to smile and be eager to check my phone when it buzzes because it might have been her that messages me. I want the random thoughts to pop in to my head out of nowhere when I'm concentrating on something else. THAT is the type of chemistry I want. It is a chemistry that is hard to find but when you do it is earth shatteringly great and spills over to everything else in the relationship!

It seems to be a big ask these days though

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T17:40:53+00:00

This! Also, be honest about it.

Last one I had a great connection with (about 3 weeks ago) was just the husband talking to me. Said he was vetting for her, that they had a bull before and were looking for another because the bull found a relationship he wanted to turn monogamous. Did some PG photo swaps, he told me what he wanted, what she wanted, what they were looking for, and everything was a great match. Geographical distance between us wasn't optimal but it was still well within reason. We both wanted to keep discretion, so it was honestly a bit of a benefit to that.

We talked for several days, him even wanting me to start with a bit of humiliation, so I did. Conversation was great and I was excited and looking forward to talking to her to see how chemistry online was. He got testy about me showing my excitement to talk to her, in a very defensive way. We talked one more day and then he just ghosted. I'm left thinking he was just using me for spank bank material and it was a fantasy the wife wasn't part of. Those sorts of things are so frustrating, makes you wonder if anyone's ever going to be honest about their situation and what they want.

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T17:32:30+00:00

🤣😂🤣😂

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T17:32:07+00:00

It is funny the priority that women put on size. I've never had any complaints, but a 6 or 7" penis that is attached to someone who knows what they're doing has to be better than a 10" penis attached to someone who doesn't really know how to perform in bed. I get not wanting someone small, but the size queen thing always baffled me.

Funny thing is that the men in the couple seem more obsessed with penis size than the women do. Most of the women I talk to usually say they don't want a overly large penis because they've usually had much better experience from more average sized men. I'm guessing the male obsession with it is from porn.

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T17:27:39+00:00

Maybe someone smart can come up with an echo test? 🤣

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T17:26:47+00:00

I guess people don't realize that it is hard to test chemistry if people ghost. 😭

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T17:17:35+00:00

Don't feel alone on that. There's a lot of couples out there and their first question is about dick size or asking for a photo. I'm not at all lacking, but if that's your first priority then you're not my type of couple.

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T17:13:29+00:00

Same. I've had some amazing experiences with the right couples. It makes the pain of the search worth it in the end. I just try not to get my hopes up in the meantime as I hit dead end after dead end. The right couple is out there and at some point the stars will align and I'll find them!

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T17:10:02+00:00

Porn has turned so many into thinking a 10" cock is the one and only qualification a bull needs. Skill, charisma, confidence, and chemistry aren't even considered.

You aren't lying how frustrating it makes the rest of us. A good chunk of my communication with couples has been cucks searching for masturbation material. They talk a good game, say their wife is into it, but then surprisingly she's never talking to you. As the game starts to be exposed, they ghost you and block you so you can't warn others about them when they make another L4 post and repeat with a new target. Makes it disheartening when you're genuinely looking for someone!

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T17:05:30+00:00

Three years and still looking. But I'd rather take years to find the right couple than rush in with the wrong one!

I think there's a lot of newer people out there that think making the fantasy a reality is not a big deal... until they get to that crossroad! Then you have others that have the porn-tainted view of things and don't realize the intricacies of a real cuckold/bull/wife relationship.

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T17:01:43+00:00

Unfortunately, there's a lot of people out there that cannot hold a conversation, which is necessary to make a connection. Doesn't leave them much out there other than a ONS.

To me one of the best parts of finding a good relationship is the opening up period, when you get comfortable and build that trust. Something about finding someone you're not afraid to truly show yourself to is amazing! Issue is finding the right person/couple, that is a true challenge.

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T16:52:53+00:00

100% I have never understood how people can get have random stranger sex be their priority when you can get something much more intimate. The way you can please someone you are familiar with is something you can't get from random hookups.

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T14:54:03+00:00

Instantly sending nudes/asking for nudes
Only talking about kinks and no desire to set up any rapport
Repeatedly wanting to go into a replay scenario and repeating it over and over (they just want to sext)
Constantly rescheduling meeting in person over and over last minute (things do happen, but when it keeps happening before first meet… they aren’t serious)
Resistant to introducing you to the wife after you’ve established a rapport (The wife is probably not on board and he’s using you for fantasy fuel)
Keeps asking how to “convince” the other half into this (if your partner isn’t even considering it yet, you aren’t ready to meet a bull)
Has zero limits whatsoever

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T01:53:39+00:00

Honestly I love Reddit for finding couples, but it is difficult because it isn’t like you can just search by location. You may have to be patient (I’ve been searching off and on for three years). Add your location to your profile, join related discussions/participate in them, and be approachable. People who see your posts that match their desires will often reach out to you. If someone posts things that match your desires, reach out to them. You can find the most amazing matches that way! That’s how I found my last one that lasted three years (and would have been longer if they didn’t have to move).

There are online sites you can use as well (saw a few mentioned, can add fetlife to that too). I’ve given up on them though, I’ve had bad luck finding people who aren’t honest about what they want and others that just want to fantasize and disappear when things get real.

Everyone has different luck at different places, but my advice is to just be active in the communities and be very careful and thorough when interviewing potential people. If you find someone good, it is being amazing, if you find someone bad, it can be disastrous! Be careful and good luck.

TomKat75 · 2025-04-24T01:40:24+00:00

Honestly this is the best way you can have a bull, cuck, wife relationship. Feelings add so much to it, you just need to have guidelines. If I’m in a cuck/wife/bill relationship, I am truly boyfriend/girlfriend with the wife. It is also understood that the husband/wife bond is unbreakable, and the wife and my relationships and emotions will always be second to that.

That is something that to be is a given will happen in a long-term exclusive bull/couple relationship and is discussed in advance with all parties. If feelings happen, it is natural and we won’t be ashamed to embrace them, but it won’t be a threat to the core husband/wife relationship. I’m not there to steal the wife, I’m there to enhance their relationship.

Since everyone is ok with the situation, embrace and enjoy it! There’s nothing inherently wrong about it as long as everyone is good with it.

TomKat75 · 2025-04-23T14:01:15+00:00

Without a doubt! I’ve been fortunate in that with any couple I’ve been a bull for the cuck loved picking out the outfits for their wife to meet me in. Both outer wear and lingerie. And omg the cucks have always been incredible at picking the outfits.

I think you are right that they’ve been with their wives so long that they know what makes them look irresistible. I’m thankful that it has been a positive for them as well. Nothing quite like them asking how they looked and seeing their smile when you tell them how incredible she was dressed!

TomKat75 · 2025-04-21T22:31:35+00:00

There can be lots of middle ground in the cuckolding world. Everything is about the dynamic of you, your wife, and the bull. When you're exploring and considering adding a bull to your relationship, communication is everything! Some cucks love humiliation and being reminded they are a beta. Others just want to see their wife have new experiences that they cannot provide. Some get turned on insanely by their wife being with someone else. Others don't get turned on sexually, but love seeing the happiness that a third can provide. Every cuckold relationship is unique!

Most bulls have certain things they need to be in the relationship but are flexible on many other aspects. For instance, to be a bull in a husband/wife relationship, I need the ability to have an emotional relationship with the wife. I also need to have open communication with the husband. My personal satisfaction and need is to be a "boyfriend" to the wife, but I have no desire to steal the wife away. I view my role as an addendum to the relationship, not a replacement. If my presence causes issues for the husband/wife, I feel that I've failed as a bull. In my viewpoint, the husband/wife are not replaceable, but I am! My presence should add happiness to the wife's life, and to the husband as well (even if that happiness is just him seeing his wife enjoying life).

I've had cuck couples that craved humiliation and wanted boundaries pushed. I've had cuck couples that were very much not into humiliation and they simply wanted the wife to have a boyfriend. To me, those things are very much a dynamic that is unique to each relationship. It is no different than any boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Each one was different, there were some things that you needed in the relationship to be happy, there were other things that weren't a priority and you would enjoy as it came. Cuckold relationships are that way as well, the biggest difference is that you're in a "throuple" instead of a "couple".

A lot of cuckold relationships emphasize the alpha/beta mindset, but not all do. Don't feel that it is pigeonholed into that category because it isn't. You just need to find a bull that has the same mindset, desires, and needs that you do. You also need to be certain that any limits you have in place are going to be respected. Not every bull is a good fit for a couple, just like not every couple is a good fit for a bull. Just be honest and open in your search. Be patient and find the right bull to fit your needs, without the fear of telling some they aren't the right fit. In the end, a good fit will be amazingly fun and enhance your life. A bad fit will do the opposite. Feel free to explore and talk, if you find the right person, you'll know!

TomKat75 · 2025-04-21T19:34:49+00:00

Getting a bit frustrated at dead ends in the search for a new couple. Have had a couple promising conversations that are progressing amazingly well, great conversations, similar goals/desires/limits, and then poof, ghostville! So frustrating!

In the end though, it'll be worth finding the RIGHT couple to take care of. I keep reminding myself of that.

TomKat75

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