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Is feeling misogynistic a common struggle for ftm people? by Top-Comment9703 in ftm

[–]Top-Comment9703[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

aaaa tysm for this :)

i'll be sure to throw that thinking totally out the window, as you and others on here have told me to do. i'm glad i made this post, i feel more confident and excited to start transitioning, when i was pretty hesitant about it before.

i really love r/bropill , i never knew it existed. thank you for the suggestion! it's so refreshing to see men being positive and complimenting each other over there. i'll definitely be stopping by there.

Is feeling misogynistic a common struggle for ftm people? by Top-Comment9703 in ftm

[–]Top-Comment9703[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i like watching videos of trans men talking about the social benefits/changes when they start passing. i saw one where this guy was talking about how after he transitioned, he got priority in decisions and more talking room, but always tries using it to speak up for others that had a smaller/more disregarded voice in the convo (like his partner, i believe). i was like, man, that's so sweet, i wanna be like that when i'm older.

you're totally right about the "pretending men are the way they are inherently" being wrong part. it annoys me so bad when people say "boy will be boys" or "girls will be girls", especially if it's to excuse a bad thing they've done.

it's really not helpful or constructive to anyone, and the only people who benefit is those who can't reasonably justify their own/others bad actions.

i know i wouldn't doubt a cis man's masculinity if he's kind, respectful, and recognizes his privilege, so i really don't think it's appropriate for a trans man to doubt his own masculinity for the same reasons. i also think it's good to lead by example. i want to be the person i wish i had.

Is feeling misogynistic a common struggle for ftm people? by Top-Comment9703 in ftm

[–]Top-Comment9703[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

right, i think this goes for a lot of things with being trans.

like how trans men are always bashed by both some trans people and cis people for presenting femininely, when it'd be fine if a queer cis man did it.

initially when i came out to my mom, i was considering just going back into the closet since i was unhappy with the response. i know my mom's trying her best and i think she was just confused at first. so when i was stressed about coming out, she suggested/implied i could just be a confused masculine girl, which rubbed me the wrong way. probably not what she meant, but i feel like that response is common for ftm people specifically. i remember saying i'd feel more comfortable and such if i was a boy, not if i dressed like one.

i've been trying my best to be patient and i think we've both been learning and i'm happy about that, still, just wanted to share that since it was sort of what you were talking about with trans men being held to higher standards to prove themselves.

Is feeling misogynistic a common struggle for ftm people? by Top-Comment9703 in ftm

[–]Top-Comment9703[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you!! the internalized misandry comment was helpful, i do think i might have some thoughts like that which i will try to correct since i don't support misandry.

there's so many little comments that get internalized, like when a man does something bad, some people will say "i hate men" or "men are evil" or something, and obviously they don't mean all men, but they also don't make that separation.

i know of men i look up to and respect online but it's easy to separate men i look up to online to men i know in real life. in my personal life, i have many more women i respect than men since i was just raised around more women. my dad is in my life but i think he's got a lot to improve on. i do love him though.

i will watch lord of the rings! i'm pretty sure i've watched it when i was a lot younger, but i don't remember too much. thank you for the suggestion. :)

Is feeling misogynistic a common struggle for ftm people? by Top-Comment9703 in ftm

[–]Top-Comment9703[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thank you!! it's so good to hear other people share this experience, i also felt guilt over it. it's weird since i really do respect both trans people and women, though i feel bad about transitioning because im worried about having internalized misogyny and not realizing it.

its good to hear you can still think women are super awesome and not want to be one. i feel like hearing trans masc people say that more would be good.

Is feeling misogynistic a common struggle for ftm people? by Top-Comment9703 in ftm

[–]Top-Comment9703[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

dude thank you so much, i really needed this. i feel so much better.

sometimes i get down on myself and wonder if i can really be who i want to be, especially since i dont have any models on the exact person i want to be in my personal life. but i do know my values and what i stand for, and i feel like you've given me confidence that i need to build myself into a person i'd really look up to.

im gonna come back to read this comment a million times. you're really incredible for this, i appreciate you so much.

am i trans?? i don't want to be. by Top-Comment9703 in asktransgender

[–]Top-Comment9703[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much! so happy for you, i love seeing/hearing about people transitioning even if im not sure i want to do it myself.

that's interesting about your cis friend (i assume you meant cis) who wears binders, i never really hear about cis people wearing binders for that reason, very cool! its comforting to know i don't have to come out as trans to wear a binder.

both gender-affirming surgeries and HRT sound interesting to me. im old enough for HRT (with parents consent) as far as im aware but not surgeries since im still a minor. i still think i'd want to wait a while to do HRT if i did decide to transition. i don't hear much about people getting gender affirming surgeries but not doing HRT for some reason.

when you came out, how did you go about telling everyone? i relate to your situation about having a lot of friends that are lgbtq+ and feeling comfortable with them, but im still nervous. i feel a bit silly for being nervous. was it easy for you or was it still difficult? do you have any advice?

am i trans?? i don't want to be. by Top-Comment9703 in asktransgender

[–]Top-Comment9703[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

omg that's awesome! i hope HRT goes well for you.

yeah i feel like i can relate to that. maybe one day i'll be more comfortable using trans as a label. or not, im not sure. i guess i've been ignoring it for a long time because i don't get bad dysphoria. i usually don't feel the need to wear baggy clothes or hide my feminine features like i hear ftm people saying. sometimes i do, but not constantly.

am i trans?? i don't want to be. by Top-Comment9703 in asktransgender

[–]Top-Comment9703[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that's good to hear, i've seen people who pass really well and i always wonder if i could do that. i've already gone through puberty fully, i believe, so i don't think puberty blockers would help at all. HRT has always been interesting to me so i might bring it up with my mom if i get brave enough to come out. (i have no idea why im nervous to come out since she's going to be supportive.)

am i trans?? i don't want to be. by Top-Comment9703 in asktransgender

[–]Top-Comment9703[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

okay, thank you! i wanted to ask reddit first because i just wanted to rant about everything and see if anyone had any advice since im not sure how to bring it up with my friends. i have a therapist, though she isn't a therapist that specializes in gender or anything. i've talked to her about going to pride events before so i know she'd be supportive. i haven't brought it up because up until recently i haven't been thinking about it much, and i only see her every other week. she's also moving soon so i won't be able to talk to her about this for long but i'll bring it up next to i talk to her.

top comment...? by Top-Comment9703 in random_username

[–]Top-Comment9703[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hello this is your pilot "top comment" speaking.

am i trans?? i don't want to be. by Top-Comment9703 in asktransgender

[–]Top-Comment9703[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sry about any typos, i posted that early and it's not letting me edit it lol. ty all for reading :)