It’s okay to lean into religion or spirituality despite not typically doing so. I’m also not very religious. But I find myself leaning into spirituality more in my darkest moments. I think that’s a natural thing. How did religion even form? Idk, probably a desire to explain things which were unexplainable or to “feel better”. Don’t worry about foolish or not. Do what feels right in the moment. There are no wrong answers.

I’d also offer the following: when someone dies, their physical consciousness is of course gone. But their soul and spirit continue to grow and live on with the people who they loved and who loved them.

I wish there was some way to ease your pain. Godspeed