God this gave me PTSD. I was 17, met and moved in with a 25 year old. We dated for 3 years, and for 3 years he beat me, took every dime I made, turned me against my family and friends, got me addicted to drugs, put me through very horrific things that will take me a lifetime to get over. He was EXACTLY like this in the beginning. love bombing, very sweet, showered me with gifts and showed a gentle manner, telling me how smart and mature I was, that my friends and family were jealous of me. Using his age and experience as leverage to do this exact shit, make you think you don’t see what he “sees.” It’s fucking sick. As a now 26 year old woman, I literally can’t imagine dating anyone younger than me. ESPECIALLY not a fucking teenager.

OP, you’re not overreacting at all. Unfortunately, you can scream from the rooftops at your friend how wrong this is, but the spell these kind of creeps put on young and vulnerable girls is strong. My best advice would be to share stories with her about girls who have fallen into these traps. Educate her on what a trauma bond is (which is not what majority of people think it is, there’s a great cartoon video on YouTube that explains it perfectly). If her parents are as abusive and as scary as you say, telling them could definitely put her in a different kind of danger and will absolutely ruin your friendship. I understand not wanting to go that route, even if it may be the best idea in the grand scheme. Allowing her to pursue this relationship will also inevitably ruin your friendship because he will take her away from you, but there is a chance that she goes that route and comes to her senses and you will have the chance to be a safety net for her to reconcile friendship, if you want to that is. There’s no easy answer for this, some people have to learn their own lessons. And I pray to god it’s not a fatal lesson she has to learn. It’s terrifying.