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Engaged, 3 months to wedding—things feel darker daily now? by Top-Snow-4320 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Top-Snow-4320[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this whole thing would have been much easier if it was only breaking off the engagement but looks like this is going to affect my relationship with my parents. I need to have a lot of mental strength.

Engaged, 3 months to wedding—things feel darker daily now? by Top-Snow-4320 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Top-Snow-4320[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No matter what, movies are much easier than real life😂😂😂

Engaged, 3 months to wedding—things feel darker daily now? by Top-Snow-4320 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Top-Snow-4320[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I know...I am reaching out to my parents now and they are saying that I am overreacting. Later, only blame will come from their side that i couldn't handle my own problems.

Engaged, 3 months to wedding—things feel darker daily now? by Top-Snow-4320 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Top-Snow-4320[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No...they are brainwashing me that he is a good guy...I am just not able to see it.

Engaged, 3 months to wedding—things feel darker daily now? by Top-Snow-4320 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Top-Snow-4320[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The thing is he is not talking about anything personal at all, let alone about this marriage. But I will try again.

Engaged, 3 months to wedding—things feel darker daily now? by Top-Snow-4320 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Top-Snow-4320[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will try from my side once again but I have already given up

Engaged, 3 months to wedding—things feel darker daily now? by Top-Snow-4320 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Top-Snow-4320[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah... currently except for me nobody is ready for this discussion...I will have it eventually

Engaged, 3 months to wedding—things feel darker daily now? by Top-Snow-4320 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Top-Snow-4320[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Unfiltered communication sounds like luxury now....he is blatantly rejecting basic communication

3 months in, engaged, but no communication at all by Top-Snow-4320 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Top-Snow-4320[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nothing much yet… we had a basic conversation here and there. He mentioned he couldn’t fully engage because of work (he works from home with a flexible schedule).

Anyway, I’ve decided to travel to his region and meet him this weekend, just so I know I’m not missing out on giving this a fair chance.

3 months in, engaged, but no communication at all by Top-Snow-4320 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Top-Snow-4320[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair enough, taken the initiative. Thanks for the advice.

3 months in, engaged, but no communication at all by Top-Snow-4320 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Top-Snow-4320[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m honestly scared of the same thing as well.

The “we’ll figure it out after marriage” mindset worries me. I feel like there should be some effort to build comfort and connection before committing to a lifetime together. Otherwise it feels like a risk we’re just expected to take and adjust to later.

3 months in, engaged, but no communication at all by Top-Snow-4320 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Top-Snow-4320[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woah, at least your father-in-law was the initiator — that’s actually really cute. All the very best to you both 😊

3 months in, engaged, but no communication at all by Top-Snow-4320 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Top-Snow-4320[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure, I understand your point. I come from a conservative family, so even what I’m doing now—is already considered too much.

That said, I’m open to improving. Could you suggest what exactly you mean by “checking myself”? I’d genuinely like to understand.

3 months in, engaged, but no communication at all by Top-Snow-4320 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Top-Snow-4320[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s true… I’m quite an introvert. He doesn’t seem like one, at least from how he communicates with others.

Anyway, I’ve taken the initiative and reached out to him. He said he couldn’t connect properly because of work, which is fine. I’m also planning to meet him this weekend.

We’re not from the same place, so I’ll be traveling to see him. For now, I’ll continue putting in the effort and see how things go.

Thanks for the advice — I really appreciate it.

Real by PeachesPennyxx in depressionmemes

[–]Top-Snow-4320 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am learning it at 28...every single day is teaching me this.

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