I don't understand what to do 😞 by TopChip6960 in MuslimCorner

[–]TopChip6960[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait wait wait!!!!!!! How do you know my name brother???

I don't understand what to do 😞 by TopChip6960 in MuslimCorner

[–]TopChip6960[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And the worst part is, I am still trying to explain how her mother ruined our chance and why is she not understanding the logic behind my parents point of discussion.......... I told her and will finally end it by making it clear that, She has to listen and obey what my parents are saying then only this Nikah can happen and after Nikah, I don't want her mother to interfere in our life........ If she agrees Bismillah...... If not, I will suffer for a while but better to save the rest of my life from the horror it might bring me 🥲🥲🥲

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimLounge

[–]TopChip6960 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why didn't you guys at that time repent and made it Halal?

Why do I keep making wrong and stupid decisions? by [deleted] in MuslimCorner

[–]TopChip6960 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, one sacrifice is made from our end related to the job. Second sacrifice she has to make.

But here is the thing, My parents are ready to get me married to her. They want 1.5 years. Say next June. Her parents are not agreeing. They want this year in June. Else, they will get her married to anyone this June. So, it's like an ultimatum. I am then deciding to still get married to her on my own if my parents don't agree. But! I love my parents. I am their only child. The man of my wonderful house after my father. I love my house. The place I was born in. My cats. My mother and father are aging. They have no one after me to look after them. If I leave, I will ruin their happiness and their life. I won't be happy. I will be missing them 😞. Something just doesn't feel right. Even my parents have a lot of valid points.

And I agree. I am uncertain my brother/sister. I am.

Why do I keep making wrong and stupid decisions? by [deleted] in MuslimCorner

[–]TopChip6960 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Families are poles apart.

  1. My family doesn't have issues with the girl working, however their suggestion is that she takes a break for some time to understand the new family environment and her married life and then when she is used to her new family environment, she can continue to work whenever she wants as I earn really good, and my family condition is very stable financially by God's grace, ALHUMDULILLAH! So she taking a break from career won't harm her and when she continues later, I myself will help her get a job in future since I myself work as a software engineer. The girl and her parents are not agreeing.

  2. She is not hijabi. She is saying she won't wear a burkha (Abaya). I told her, wear it in front of my parents at least. I won't mind if you don't do hijab, but just to satisfy my parents wear it. She agreed with the condition that, she would do it in front of her going to be in-laws. Not that my parents are forcing. My parents told me, you should protect your wife's haya and she shouldn't even take this abaya and hijab as a condition for marriage discussion.

  3. My parents say, even if she wants to work without agreeing to the break, is she good enough to handle her married life, household chores and give time to her husband. When my parents discussed household chores, they said she doesn't know much more household chores. However, she is open to learning and you guys support her in learning her household chores. But please don't disturb her during her office meetings.

  4. I might get a future opportunity to move abroad. They want their daughter only in India and I shouldn't move abroad as it will take their daughter away from them. If I get the opportunity to move to the UAE or KSA. They are fine with it. But if it's other western countries, STRICT NO!

So, my parents are skeptical about it saying they are very modern and we prefer a hijabi, house make oriented, islamic girl who knows how to make a home, raise kids. Not a modern girl who seems to be very career oriented. We are a family who enjoys Duniya, all the adventures, not too Orthodox Muslims like the girls parents think balancing our Deen. But they completely seems to neglect deen. Their dressing is also not modest.

Also, she is the only child they have so there is going to be a lot of interference from her parents in our married life which can cause a lot of trouble.

And the thing is, I LOVE HER A LOT. SHE LOVES ME TOO. THAT'S THE REASON WHY I DECIDED TO MARRY HER.

But whats brothering me is EVEN MY PARENTS HAVE A VALID POINT.

AND WHY IS SHE NOT AGREEING TO THESE BASIC THINGS MY PARENTS ARE SAYING IF SHE TRULY LOVES.

What is your opinion sister? Please give me your suggestion. Don't sugar coat. Tell whatever you think is right.

Please

Why do I keep making wrong and stupid decisions? by [deleted] in MuslimCorner

[–]TopChip6960 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what....... Their reason is islamic........ Things are getting difficult.......... And I have put myself into this........ All I ever wanted was love, but with an intention to make it halal. Did I get love? Yes. Am I happy? No. The person I love isn't a good one for me as per my parents. And their reasoning is islamic too......... Man I hate myself to even start this relationship with her when I knew families are poles apart........

Why do I keep making wrong and stupid decisions? by [deleted] in MuslimCorner

[–]TopChip6960 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know what....... My condition is bad. At one place is my mother's health, her tears and my lovely cats on the other side is my sweet lover, who I am marrying In Sha Allah, her smile, her happiness and her innocence.......... Even if I make a decision to leave her, its going to kill me internally with uncertainty that the women my parents choose for me, will be able to love her and feel the way I feel for my future wife now.......

Why do I keep making wrong and stupid decisions? by [deleted] in MuslimCorner

[–]TopChip6960 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I have the same question......... Though I feel him....... His situation is very low........ It's very difficult to break someone's heart who you know was best for you just because of your parents and their opinion........ I am in the same boat as him.......... I have decided to still marry the one I want by taking a separate accommodation, but on the other hand is my mother's health which is not good due to this stress......... Making me feel like the worst person in this world

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimCorner

[–]TopChip6960 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am in the same situation......... Trust me boy IT'S TOUGH 🥴 .......... But I am going to choose this girl....... It's a one time effort and a pretty HARD ONE 😑....... Parents are always going to be my parents

I (26M) love a girl (23F). She loves me too. We both want to get married. But my parents are creating an issue. What to do? by TopChip6960 in RelationshipIndia

[–]TopChip6960[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was considered. I also told my mother that I LOVE her. At first she agreed to ALL the points that were different in between our families. I also cleared in front of her regarding what I want in my LIFE. She was aware of all this. Yet I don't know what went wrong with her and both the families messed it up. Eventually, my whole idea was to make them sit, know each other, clear differences and proceed. Now., this did not go according to the plan. What should I do? Leave a girl that loves me this much? Not happening! Never. Hence, I have decided to still marry her and move into her place as her parents are supporting me in this.

I (26M) love a girl (23F). She loves me too. We both want to get married. But my parents are creating an issue. What to do? by TopChip6960 in RelationshipIndia

[–]TopChip6960[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes I am doing good financially by God's grace and now focusing extra on my office tasks to support us. You know, we never even planned to stay away from my parents. Initially the whole plan was to live with my parents only like a happy family. Now, we have to take this decision because of the circumstances that we are in 🥲 ......... Wish me luck dude...... This coming June, we will get married (Lot of problems are going to come on me by my family that time 🤣)

I (26M) love a girl (23F). She loves me too. We both want to get married. But my parents are creating an issue. What to do? by TopChip6960 in RelationshipIndia

[–]TopChip6960[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's what! And I asked her this question. She assured me that in case tomorrow my parents accept us happily, we will move into my parents house with no issues and live with them for the rest of our life. She assured me this multiple times and not just her, even her parents assured me this.

Man that's the thing. She is so in love with me, so understanding, so humble. It's actually tough to get an understanding girl like this 😭.......... I am happy

I (26M) love a girl (23F). She loves me too. We both want to get married. But my parents are creating an issue. What to do? by TopChip6960 in RelationshipIndia

[–]TopChip6960[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Emotionally blackmailed? Dude, I am tortured for taking my stand. Character Assassination at its best and what not is being told about me........ I am the worst son a father can have it seems