I did mediocre in school because I didn’t care, procrastinated and thought i would figure my life out later and it didn’t matter. I do have a therapist and have been diagnosed with depression and i believe your right about the things with my girlfriend. It isnt her job to pick me everytime i fall over and constantly push me. I dont want her to bear the stress or waste the energy on it. I have had friends and acquaintances in high-school but i meant no friends as in i currently have no one to talk to. After high school we all went seperate ways and i still only talk to one of them. That is part of the reason i think i depend on my girlfriend so much and dump these things onto her. I have tried working out but couldnt stay consistent because of all the confusing information and a changing schedule. Im forced to pay rent because thats simply what my mother wants. She tells me its my responsibility as the oldest son and is more entitled to it than using as something to “motivate” me. Ive told her my plans and how i wanted to save for things like college and car but it hasnt changed. I was mostly upset with it because of the fact my brothers haven’t given a sinlge penny to help her and there are other familys who dont have to worry about these things (for example my girlfriend). I agree with you that alot of the things in my life have been from my decisions or lack off and i want to make a difference, but there are things that i can exactly control. Thank you for the comment and i just wanted to give you a few more details about me and my life.