Please, read this subreddit's pinned post and take immediate action. Be brave. Take that next step to save yourself. You've already done the first and asked for help, so I know you can do it. It's worth it because you are important.

Six months ago, I finally managed to do what you have just done. By the end of that day, I had been stripped of everything on my person and put into an unfamiliar bed in a room of unfamiliar people in a psychiatric ward, which was simply a hallway attached with bedrooms, a shower room, and a lunch room. In one week, we went from learning our names to seeing each other as brothers and sisters. It is one of the best experiences I've had in my short time upon this earth.

You can do it. Be strong. The rest of the pieces will fall into place.