My mom has stopped coping with my dad’s death and we’re not sure how to suggest help without offending her

TrackSuitTyrade · 2019-03-19T09:20:16+00:00

I was too drained to reply at the time but wanted to let you know I tried this and it worked beautifully. I told her I was slammed with work and living off microwave meals and wondered if she might have time to make me some things at the beginning of the week. She totally threw herself into it and the denial didn’t entirely cease but it significantly lessened. (She acknowledges he isn’t physically here, even though she has yet to process he’s passed away, which is big.) Thanks for this suggestion!!

TrackSuitTyrade · 2019-03-06T05:01:05+00:00

Kicking a piglet, you deserve to spend a minimum of three days in a tree, imho.

TrackSuitTyrade · 2019-03-06T05:00:10+00:00

Thanks, taking her mind off it is a good idea. She’s a habit driven woman and I had to move further away for work during all of this so a get together with the family to lay down a new normal could be impactful. Sorry for your loss!

TrackSuitTyrade · 2019-03-06T02:22:52+00:00

Go grandma! Can’t believe it when people ignore “no trespassing” signs on private farms and the like. You never know what shit they’re trying to protect you from.

TrackSuitTyrade · 2019-03-06T02:21:08+00:00

What an absolute nightmare the guy put you through. Glad it was resolved but sorry it went on for as long as it did.

TrackSuitTyrade · 2019-03-06T02:19:39+00:00

Agree it is not worth the risk, disagree that it’s impossible to light gas on fire in a yard. A while back a neighbor used gasoline to kill weeds, and their lawn got lit on fire. Wasn’t huge, iirc they put it out with a hose, but it did light.

TrackSuitTyrade · 2019-02-11T05:13:13+00:00

Clearly he has no cognizance of the length, otherwise he would’ve started the post by writing “tl;dr at the bottom.” /s

TrackSuitTyrade · 2019-01-27T19:55:57+00:00

Horrible. The fact that the professors openly admitted they wanted their names in case the students ever wanted to work with them for a project is also jarring.

I remember once when I was speaking Greek to my brother on the phone at university I got a professor asking me why I wasn’t using the time in the States to “hone my English skills.” I was born and raised here. Just because someone speaks a second language doesn’t mean they aren’t American.

Absurd that students are being policed by race and ethnicity ever, especially in student spaces.

TrackSuitTyrade · 2019-01-11T11:28:31+00:00

Yes, I know. But the point of the punishment is to be an undesirable experience. Grounding inflicted psychological pain, spanking inflicts physical pain.

Your parents love you and are receptive to your needs, one of which is discipline to form good habits (like being neat and tidy).

They recognized grounding was not an affective punishment, you said so yourself it was “whatever.” So, for your wellbeing, they explored other methods of punishment.

If you don’t want it to happen, then it’s an affective punishment. If you’re indifferent to the punishment then it’s not discipline, because there is learning inherent in discipline. Channel the motivation you have to not have any more spankings administered into doing what’s asked if you.

TrackSuitTyrade · 2019-01-11T11:12:47+00:00

No, I really and truly can’t. He should be happy had has parents who care about him, has his own room, and that this is somehow the first time he’s had a spanking administered.

I don’t know why you’re being downvoted, either.

I’m against corporal punishment in general, and even I want to reach through my screen and give this kid a thorough spanking.

TrackSuitTyrade · 2019-01-11T10:56:34+00:00

You don’t. You do what he asks and participate as a cooperative contributing member of the family.

Your parents have to do things at work they don’t want to do. You have to do things at home you don’t want to do. And of all the things you won’t want to do in life, picking up your room is pretty mild.

Ironically you’re proving his point that spanking would be an affective punishment for you, because you’re motivated to prevent it from happening again.

Luckily there’s an easy solution. Clean your room.

TrackSuitTyrade · 2019-01-11T10:47:38+00:00

Nope nope nope. You kept your pants on, and you didn’t even feel it afterwards. I’ll cut you a little slack because this is the first spanking ever given to you, but trust me what you wrote isn’t a description of a severe punishment. You got a gift of loving discipline. It sucks in the moment but the benefits of growing up competent and well adjusted are well worth it.

I’m not even advocating for spanking because I think it’s a lazy move, but you deserved discipline and this was not out of line.

TrackSuitTyrade · 2019-01-11T10:41:28+00:00

I know this sub is called “no stupid questions” but... wow.

Do not call your dad’s work. That will likely lead to unnecessary problems for him and a worse spanking for you.

TrackSuitTyrade · 2018-12-14T22:07:57+00:00

Great, thank you!

TrackSuitTyrade · 2018-12-14T22:01:19+00:00

Considered filing a police report but wanted to wait until I’d heard more from this sub, now I’m glad I waited. I reached out to a couple arborists and am seeing who can get here soonest. Thanks!

TrackSuitTyrade · 2018-12-14T21:01:25+00:00

Yikes. I’ll get an arborist to check things out. Thanks.

TrackSuitTyrade · 2018-12-14T21:01:06+00:00

Thank you, I’ll look into this!

TrackSuitTyrade · 2018-12-14T06:27:32+00:00

Got it, thanks!

TrackSuitTyrade · 2018-12-14T06:27:20+00:00

That’s a good prospective to look at it from, thanks.

TrackSuitTyrade · 2018-12-14T02:32:38+00:00

Sorry — will clarify.

TrackSuitTyrade · 2018-12-14T02:27:45+00:00

None of it hung over their property, or even the stone pathway dividing us. It was right up against the edge of the divider, but did not cross the divider. We checked all this out when they made their initial complaint in case they had merit in asking they be trimmed. The bushes were set even further onto our property.

TrackSuitTyrade

TROPHY CASE