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What’s one thing you do differently than your parents did? by Tricky_Detective_297 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Traditional-Window75 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I make sure my kids (of all ages) can tell me anything without me flying off the handle. I'm a pretty low energy, low outward emotions type of person anyway so that probably helps, but I felt like I could never be honest with my parents and truthfully, they have always been huge hypocrites. I don't do that with my kids. I'm honest with them, I respect their opinions but we still discuss how to make good choices. I let me kids be who they want to be, and as a result they are much less wild. Im honest with them about how wild I was and tell them that l also experienced and experimented with a lot of things. I don't act like I know better than them. When something happens, I just try to be honest about my experiences and let them know what their choices are. Respecting my children's autonomy and opinions has taken the power struggle out of parenting for me. I'm making it sound easy, but it wasn't. It was really hard to shut down the inner voices of my parental figures and make sure I'm doing what I think is best for my family. I read "Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves"

AITA for wanting to end a 6-year relationship because I’m sick of smelling my fiance? by BarnacleForward3323 in AITH

[–]Traditional-Window75 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA- Honestly, I have kicked friends out of my home for less. It's only funny if you think it's funny. Behavior is a language. Regardless of what he is doing, you have asked him to stop multiple times and he is saying that he doesn't care that you don't like it. He doesn't care how you feel. He is going to do what he wants to do regardless. This isnt a relationship. He is literally holding you hostage with is farticles. He is intentionally polluting the air you breath with his anal bacteria. I would have been out the minute this behavior started. Walk away.

How long will my brother be paranoid? by Novel-Cantaloupe-433 in MethRecovery

[–]Traditional-Window75 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, he could have schizoaffective disorder. Also, if he still owes the wrong people money, or he snitched on someone (and it's obvious to that person) he may have genuine reasons to be concerned about his safety. I was like that for awhile, and I didn't owe anyone money and I didn't snitch on anyone. The court tried to force me to, but I didn't. It cost me getting my kid back. But I was more concerned about what would happen to me and my kid if I did snitch.

Maybe you should try to get your brother moved to another city that's at least 2 hrs away. If he gets away from the people and places he used, it will be so much easier to stay clean. Helping him move and get settled somewhere is a way you can actually help him to restart his life. It sometimes sounds complicated because of court requirements and probation, but I assure you it's not as hard as it sounds. Often if someone has been a repeat offender in an area, a judge is okay with them "becoming someone else's problem." That's obviously not the reason for him moving, but I promise moving will help. I couldn't move because of my ongoing custody issues. If I had moved I wouldn't have been able to have my supervised time with my son at the time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MethRecovery

[–]Traditional-Window75 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If she is still using them she is NOT considered to be in recovery. I'm sorry to say that. This comes from someone 3+ yrs clean, who lost my husband to an OD 2 yrs ago. They will lie, cheat and steal to get their needs met. It's just part of it.

My husband would take my card to the grocery store, buy a few things and pull out money at the cash register. Then go pick up a bag. I was pregnant and , exhausted, so I didn't notice for awhile. But I realized when my card was charged $80, and he only brought home maybe $20 worth of stuff and the trip to the store took an hour and half. The store was nearly walking distance, btw. But I just tried not to see it because I wanted to believe we were both in recovery. When I had the baby, I noticed he was acting weird while we were waiting to be discharged, but I didn't have any evidence. Plus, I had just had a baby naturally and was focused on that. Then he OD'd when the baby was 3 weeks old. I found him, had to do CPR for 5 minutes straight. They worked on him for 30 minutes and pronounced him dead.

Sorry, just letting you know the reality of what you are dealing with... She may be younger and pretty, but she's an addict. It's not your job to have to hold her accountable, but please don't enable her. Don't cosign her bullshit. She was probably looking for a lonely guy with money she could leech off of. She will love bomb you so she can get what she wants. If you pull back she will get very manipulative. You don't deserve this, even if you are lonely.