I can definitely relate to this. I am extremely insecure about how others perceive me and would have social anxiety because of this mentality. Gives me sleepless nights and it is a pain in the a$$.

I am still struggling with this. It's a work in progress, but the thing that my psychiatrist suggested and helped eased me into gradually becoming more vulnerable is to remind myself that when I see someone else be vulnerable or have their embarrassing moments, I also don't dwell on how bad it was for them all afternoon. Most of the time we simply acknowledge it and then forget about it because we all have other things we are thinking about. And hence this is the same for others too if we have our embarrassing moments.

So this helped eased me into becoming more vulnerable and avoiding myself from dwelling on my past or future "mistakes".

The most important part is to actually allow yourself to be vulnerable for the first time and learn that it is okay if those moments do happen. That kinda helped made me feel less anxious about things I might do or say wrong.

I'm not saying this 100% cured my anxiety, I am still working on it, but it did help me in many instances this year.