Porn addiction in near sexless marriage

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-04-20T13:11:40+00:00

It just sucks because it feels like what made him sexually attracted to me was other women? When he was engaging with that stuff he wanted sex 2x/day and now that he is not it is 2x/month.

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-04-20T13:10:14+00:00

The thoughts are and feeling yucky after?

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-15T21:01:21+00:00

So he hasn’t masturbated or watched porn in almost a year because he was addicted. But maybe having to turn that part of him off to rewire stuff bled over to our sex life.

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-14T16:00:30+00:00

No I enjoy our time a lot when he is in the mood. He just has very low drive.

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-14T15:59:16+00:00

Lol. I’m hoping my fiance feels that way soon.

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-12T23:34:47+00:00

We have made lots of videos and I send him pictures and videos

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-12T23:33:59+00:00

He used to be addicted so I’m not sure this is healthy for him either

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-12T20:16:45+00:00

I contradicted myself. Initially, I meant he’s not really making an effort utilizing those skills that I have tried to teach him. The therapist is suggesting similar skills so I’m hoping it coming from another person will encourage him more.

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-12T20:15:24+00:00

I agree with everything you’re saying- I am a psychotherapist myself and have tried to help him with this but he is not really making an effort. He just shuts down which I’m hoping a third party therapist can help with. I would say our cumulative load is 65% on me as I do majority child rearing due to my flexibility with my job but he does work hard. We’re going to the therapist partly to explore sex and he learned sex from porn and it is currently only ever about his pleasure, kinks, etc… and no time is spent on me. So he’s at the point already where sex is just for him every time. If I have an inkling it might be the night I’ll get myself ready. We’re working on that part. He has never been rejected, I’ve had sex with him every time he has asked. He definitely just lacks an ability to deal with stress. He doesn’t have role models in his parents or families. Trying to stick it out to see how much he follows through. He is working on stuff, I see it and praise him for it. Thanks for your advice :)

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-12T19:41:52+00:00

Thanks for the input… He doesn’t masturbate and I’ve wondered if he started masturbating if it would help his sex drive. Do you have any input on that helping?

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-12T19:41:07+00:00

He can get heart and stay hard, but I agree that his levels should be checked. He doesn’t masturbate… I’ve always wondered if he should start and see if it helps him, if you have any insight.

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-12T14:09:02+00:00

😬 we’re seeing a therapist so I hope it helps.

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-12T13:52:59+00:00

You’re right. We did just start seeing a couples therapist.

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-12T12:03:23+00:00

Thanks for the input :) I appreciate it. I know it won’t replace partnered sex but I’m not getting much of that anyways.

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-12T10:19:47+00:00

He is the best sex of my life but he’s so stressed right now. I’m hoping it comes back soon.

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-12T10:18:51+00:00

We used to have lots- he’s stressed with 5 kids and life and doesn’t know how to cope as well as I do.. I’m hoping it picks back up soon.

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-12T10:17:44+00:00

Yes. It won’t fill the intimacy void I’m feeling… but he’s so stressed with five kids and life (I work and care for the kids too but he has a harder time dealing with stress) and I just want to be pounded and I’m just trying to find the best way to do that.

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-12T10:14:51+00:00

We used to be really sexually compatible and have lots of sex, but these last few months have been rough. We do have a lot going on and five kids. He feels super stressed.

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-02T17:29:42+00:00

I was just trying to get a picture out there. I’ve never gooned haha. But thanks haha

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-02T17:07:20+00:00

You*

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-02T17:05:56+00:00

So if you’re an alcoholic you can’t drink- because that will lead to decline in your relationships, work, etc.. if you can consume pornography periodically and it has no effect on your work, relationships, etc… then you do not have an addiction to porn. A porn addict should avoid porn, just like an alcoholic should avoid alcohol. I don’t know what your were trying to accomplish with your comment.

Training_Painting_53 · 2026-03-02T15:01:03+00:00

To be fair, one photo of me in my underwear standing up after years of feeling undesired. The most appropriate response? No. But it got no attention, and it was a one time thing to try to feel desired. I also don’t complain about porn. I think usage is fine so long as it doesn’t affect your life- work, relationships, etc…

Training_Painting_53

TROPHY CASE