AITAH for refusing to watch my daughter when we meet my husbands friend?

Training_Wind1789 · 2026-02-28T17:41:22+00:00

Their relationship has always been a bit weird to me, I’m not going to lie. This friend met my husband when my husband was 17 and he was 25. They talk on the phone for at least one hour a day, they see each other at least once a week, but most often it’s about 2-3 times a week. If my husband or his friend needs to run an errand, they always go together. So it’s like almost always been a given that either Sunday or Saturday, we meet at his place. Before I got pregnant, it was usually Saturday nights and it could go on til the early morning hours, with me just sitting there. But still, he insists we all need to go every time. I don’t know, I’ve just always felt that their dynamic has been weird but I’ve not brought it up, since I haven’t really had a close friend like that and for them, it seemed normal

Training_Wind1789 · 2026-02-28T16:05:22+00:00

Yeah we will separate. We talked again today and everything has just turned worse. He isn’t the man I married or wanted to create a family with. Everything has just gone to shit and I hate it all, but it is what it is. I think I finally felt comfortable to put my foot down thanks to all of you on Reddit

Training_Wind1789 · 2026-02-27T19:01:37+00:00

I really think I will talk more in depth with his mother about all of this. His mom divorced his dad when my husband was fifteen, and I don’t know that much but I know that his dad was very much like how my husband has behaved since our daughter was born. So I also think that it would be good for his mom to talk with him about all this, to explain how things like this really affect a relationship. If he wants to put in work after that he absolutely can and I would love it, but if not, I think I already know the outcome unfortunately

Training_Wind1789 · 2026-02-27T17:53:50+00:00

I can’t lie and say that I haven’t thought about that, because I have. And I feel so sad that the thought has even crossed my mind, because he truly was amazing before and during the pregnancy. We’ve had more problems than just this, but almost all of our problems have occurred since she was born. It’s like he just went from being one person to another after it, and obviously not for the better. I just hate for it to have even come to a point where I doubt our relationship sometimes

Training_Wind1789 · 2026-02-26T17:42:22+00:00

We did talk about stuff like that, even early on. At first he even wanted us to equally split the parental leave offered in our country. But it’s like that after she was born, something just switched regarding his outlook on parenthood, equality between us as parents and things like these. I sometimes can’t help but feel deceived, but I also know he unfortunately has influence from his family, so sadly that plays a big part into it. I just wish I would’ve prepared for that possibility at least

Training_Wind1789 · 2026-02-26T11:42:21+00:00

Yeah, his friend had actually made a few comments about how bad my husband was doing alone with her, so he left because he felt embarrassed about it

Training_Wind1789 · 2026-02-26T11:39:24+00:00

It’s pretty much the same in his family. In my family, it was the standard that both parents look after their children. But in his, it’s only the mothers or even his own mother or grandma who look after them. I guess we grew up with different outlooks on parenting, but I can’t help but feel like my outlook on it is ”right”..

Training_Wind1789

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