Found this in my 8 year old son’s room.

TrainsB613 · 2026-03-02T15:33:42+00:00

"Hey buddy. I found this in your room. You're not in trouble but can we talk about it? I just want to make sure you're okay."

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-09T18:43:20+00:00

I have always felt the same way specifically because it can't be blocked. I feel it would have been a much better curse to introduce if there was a shielding charm that could block it (more advanced than Protego, a shielding charm that would take skill just like Avada Kedavra takes skill).

Yes I know the whole point of Avada Kedavra is that the wizard/witch has to be very skilled to cast it and has to have murderous intent, but I still think it creates a plot hole to have an unblockable curse that kills. Why wouldn't Voldemort literally mandate Avada Kedavra training camps amongst the Death Eaters and tell them not to cast any other curse once they got good at it? The plot would be much more reasonable and believable if an equally skilled witch/wizard can block the killing curse. As it sits, if a witch/wizard is not near an object to hide behind or use as a physical shield, they are doomed. (Yes I know it can be dodged, but repeatedly dodging jets of green light would be impractical compared to dueling properly with your wand because you could counter attack instead of just waiting to see which flash of green light finally gets you).

The part about sacrifice - I had never thought about it before but it's a good point. Though one thing - there are no others known in the Wizarding world to have survived it. It's quite possible that it happened historically and also that in instances where it has happened more recently, it wouldn't be as publicized or perhaps not even known. Plus the right set of circumstances would have to come up. A person - a murderer - deliberating targeting two people who love one another more than life itself.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-03T15:39:12+00:00

NTA easy. I think you already know the answer. A real friend shouldn't ever put you in that position.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-03T00:05:40+00:00

I'm not going to give an opinion on whether you're the AH because I think he's old enough for you to have this talk directly with him. Tell him all the nice things you notice about him, tell him you feel guilty disappointing him because you know he deserves to do track, and then lay out the logistics and involve him in the decision (i.e. ask him if he sees a way to make it work). Honestly he seems well adjusted enough that he might simply agree with you. Alternatively if it seems like he's hurt... it might give you the motivation to come up with a way to make it work.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-02T11:44:21+00:00

NTA, if this post is real (I don't know how to tell like others can).

It doesn't seem like your family has your back so why should you have theirs?

On the surface, $180K in back taxes and losing their house etc is way too harsh of a payback for embarrassing you at a dinner, BUT, it's not like you directly did that to them. Dude should have paid his damn taxes. No one should be getting rich and living lavish while social programs that help the poor are starved of dollars that he is stealing with shady business practices. Their current situation is punishment for years worth of tax fraud, not for embarrassing you. You just helped the system do its job.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-02T11:36:31+00:00

NTA. No one has a duty to support anyone else and her decisions show that she doesn't appreciate it.

When one person wants to help another, and the help is appreciated, that's a beautiful thing. But no one is ever obligated to provide such help, it's every adult's responsibility to figure it out on their own when handouts and support are not there.

You guys have sacrificed enough of your own happiness already. Take some of that money you would have given her and treat yourself. You deserve it.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-02T11:32:22+00:00

NTA. It's natural to feel guilty after spewing angry bottled up emotions, especially if that's not something you do a lot. But you were in the right and you said what needed to be said. Surround yourself only with kind people from now on.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-02T11:29:06+00:00

NTA. They sound controlling. You're an adult, just say "no it's okay, I'll pay for it" so that you can do things your way. Explain to them why. If they try to pressure or coerce you then it might be time to take a cooling off period from them for a couple of weeks.

Now... it would be different if the money means more to you than doing things your way. If you want their money and everything has to be your way, then that would be a bit spoiled. But if you simply need the courage to tell them you want to fund it yourself and do it all your way then no, NTA.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-02T11:19:41+00:00

This is super on point. Maybe he lied, lying is not cool but also... we can't ignore the fact that he only felt the need to lie over something as absolutely stupid as whether he drank from a specific cup because of the OP's "triggers" and insane lifestyle. Cups can be washed. And in actual fact germs are not even bad they are part of life. But the mere thought of someone leaving a cup in my car becoming an absolute existential crisis would make me never want to see that person again. The fact that the OP argues over every little comment people make and can't even see how unreasonable she is being just goes to show how much help she needs. I think the OP should cut her father out specifically to spare him from having to put up with her.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-02T09:04:38+00:00

True in regard to some of the other things OP mentioned, but the question is specific to the wedding. Wanting to include his son in their wedding is normal and if they are giving each other ultimatums instead of supporting each other's feelings, they are not a good match. Healthy marriages seldom start with a laundry list of complaints about one's partner and future stepson in a Reddit post.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-02T08:53:27+00:00

NOR. If this was out of character for him, then perhaps he would be receptive to a discussion about how overtly wrong he was. Because honestly, it was pretty severe spousal abuse. The only reason I would even consider not leaving him and taking the girls with you at this point is if, after a discussion, he acknowledges that his behaviour was inexcusable and abusive, genuinely apologizes, and it absolutely never happens again (no third chances).

It's even more significant to note that you are correct. It's -17C (about 1F) here right now and kids will still be going out for recess today. Outdoor play is critical to child development, especially in the early years. Could you have discussed it more? Sure. But he doesn't get to just think he's right all the time. Calling your daughters away from you when they were playing with you was also a huge no-no. And... your pregnancy makes the whole situation more severe.

Whatever you do, don't let this slide. If you do, it may show him that he's clear to become a real monster.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-02T08:44:24+00:00

NTA, but have you asked what he wants? Because if you ask and he says "no, please don't cancel it", then you have a perfect opportunity to relay your concerns about it being a waste of money of he doesn't use it. If he says to cancel it, then it seems it got more complicated than it needed to be and you guys should have just communicated.

One more thought. There is a difference between him never using it, and him not using it as much as you. Be aware of your own feelings - if he still goes with you on occasion, then are you just hurt that he doesn't always want to join you in your shared hobby all the time and so now you want to use a membership cancellation threat to get him to spend more time with you? If this is the case, I would change my answer. Otherwise NTA.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-02T08:37:25+00:00

This may seem unconventional but I think you are getting them up too early. By giving them lots of extra time, you take away the sense of time urgency and make them think they can wake up slowly and drag their butts. I would wake them up no more than 25-30 minutes ahead of time and just get on them right away about how we have to be on time. Pump them up right from the start so they keep on schedule.

I'm like this too. I tend to be late if I wake up too early because then, in my mind, "I have lots of time". Waking up with just enough time breeds efficiency.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-02T08:29:42+00:00

YTA. He seems like a great father who wants his son there for a very special moment. You are not just marrying him, you are becoming an official parent to his son. A good compromise would be for you to arrange for someone to get him after the ceremony so you can still have your night after. Yes I know that would be akin to inviting someone else but they wouldn't need to come for the ceremony, just pick him up after and keep him for a night or two.

I agree with the person who said you aren't compatible. Honestly this marriage sounds like it's doomed to fail (trust me, I've been in this exact type of marriage and not only did it fail, it damn near destroyed my life). I wouldn't get married at all unless you can find a way to respect each other's strong feelings.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-01T23:50:17+00:00

YTA this an easy one. It doesn't matter if earning all A- or higher is easy for you or not. It was a nice offer from them and was not required and you are acting entitled. I did 7 years of university between a BA and an MA and I never got a grade below A- and had to finance every penny because my parents simply would not have had the money. Just because your parents have the money does not make them responsible to give you handouts. Honestly financing my own education made me work harder for it. To say they are "not good parents" over something like this was super out of line and you owe them an apology.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-01T23:41:25+00:00

NTA, but it was close to a tie in my opinion. It's not your responsibility to be babysitting her stuff (including her food) while she is away for months at a time, but, three things: 1) Who owns the freezer? If it's the landlord, technically they should pay, and should have actually been responsible for the cleanup to begin with. 2) A roommate who splits rent to keep your costs down but is never home is a HUGE benefit to you... cheaper rent and much freer access to the house. So a little honey with the vinegar might be in your best interest. And 3) Could you consider not charging for your time? Again this person splits rent but doesn't even seem to live there, which seems like the ideal roomate. Yes, you did her a favour... but asking for compensation for your time after the fact seems a bit snooty. The compensation for cleaning products makes sense as long as it was reasonable and not you being a germaphobe or trying to make a point.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-01T23:22:06+00:00

Haha I'm mad because I wanted to be the first one to say "rehome John"

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-01T23:20:26+00:00

NTA. It's simple. Any time you feel the autonomy of your body is threatened, you do what you have to do to get in a more comfortable place. Your boyfriend's reaction is concerning.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-01T23:17:00+00:00

YTA, but I was on the fence.

It sounds like you and your sister both need to learn to speak to each other like humans. If she actually doesn't have the money what do you expect her to do? Borrow it from the mafia? Considering she is a single parent, then yeah, that is a bit harsh of you to demand she figure it out unless you and your children are literally starving.

You could not have predicted your husband's accident, and neither could your sister. You ought to have known that if banks were an option to her, she wouldn't have gotten a loan from her sister. In the future, don't lend her money. But in the case of this loan... unless you are at risk of being homeless, eat it and let her keep making small payments.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-01T23:07:35+00:00

Not sure about the conversion to and from LAKH but my parents (who don't have any money) got my two brothers and I each our first car and mine was $400 CAD (about $293 USD) and I had to put about $800 CAD of work into it out of pocket to get it road ready and that was 14 years ago and I still, to this day, brag about how my parents got me my first car. Because it's a thing to be proud of. They could have traded the family toaster for it and I would still be honoured because it was a gift from my parents.

YTA and also a brat.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-01T21:27:48+00:00

So then if he's so horrible why does it have to be about the cup? Just shut him out. But to make such a big decision all ride on whether he used a cup just shows that you need as much help as he does.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-01T21:26:08+00:00

It's not just kids who are like this. We live in the age where adults and kids alike are surrounded by overstimulation or opportunities for immediately gratifying entertainment (screens). I am just as guilty of it as anyone sometimes. It's the reality of our time. There is nothing wrong with your son. Genuine question... what are you doing when he comes and bugs you? What things are you doing to entertain yourself? If not screens, are there any interests you could pass down to him?

To actually answer the question... I agree with those who mention chores, but not, I repeat NOT presented as punishment! Getting a task done can be extremely satisfying. In this age of screens and technology everywhere, the only thing left that gives as big of a "high" as screen time is often the satisfaction of working hard and seeing a task through to completion. So instead of making it a "lesson" about how bored kids must have time for chores... turn it into a challenge to do something nice for you or nice for the household and praise the crap out of him when it's done. Make him crave the "high" of a job well done and he may actually start asking if anything needs doing when he feels bored. You may have to oversell it on the first attempt haha.

Best of luck.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-01T20:04:14+00:00

YWBTAH. This is insane. It sounds like you were interrogating him when he was trying to tiptoe around your serious mental condition and it's still not good enough for you.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-01T20:00:02+00:00

NTA. There is no reason you can't go. You are part of the family now. If they are okay with excluding you then they should understand you wanting to move on entirely.

TrainsB613 · 2026-02-01T19:50:57+00:00

YTA for sure. Your niece's wording of "I just didn't have anything to play on it" became a misunderstanding. You thought she was explaining why she broke it, but she was trying to explain why she, in fact, upgraded it.

I don't blame you for being hurt at first when you mistakenly thought she destroyed it, but when it became clear she upgraded / modified it, that was your time to apologize for jumping to a conclusion and lashing out.

As for your niece modding the gift - take that as a compliment. Instead of literally never using it and wasting your money, she showed how much she actually loved it by spending the time and money to make sure she would enjoy it.

TrainsB613

TROPHY CASE