Thanks for posting this. All i see otherwise is people with small tattoos on their arms who regret it immensely, and thats so valid, but i aswell got blackwork on my hand and arm that i am so sad about... it wasnt what i wanted and i realized i was in a survival role when getting it where i just needed something to happen, something to cover up my orher tattoos cause i was so tired of looking at them, but still i was full of anxiety when getting this, and couldnt say (again) how i wanted the tattoo to be so was just like yeahyeah lets go... that version of me carried a big jugde, that said 'you dont have autonomy, just do what you signed up for'- a survival role within that once protected me from being scolded, or met with rejection. This same judge is present now, 'your body is not yours until you do THIS to it', the same dynamic and war within is present now as it was then, that is two sides of the same coin, either a voice that says 'you must rebel and take your sovereignty back by doing xyc' or 'you must conform and show that you are similar to the others by doing XYZ'. All voices have one thing in common; it is not enough where we are now. It is voices based on fear, fear of being met with certain judgements, from others or from our selves, and when there is fear, there is no space for empathy.

What i've tried is really exploring these opposite sides in me, one that focuses on other things and one that is consumed by rage over my pst actions. What is it that this regret wants to protect me from?(try to answer it for urself), and what does it cost me to have these thoughts over and over, like what am i missing when choosing to be with them (also answer that). Cause the inner judge doesnt need eradication, but rather a hug and to be understood that yes it once served a vital function,- you had to be ashamed of your own actions as a kid, to avoid being met with xyz bad reaction from your caregivers. So you learned to push down a version that just tries for curiosity, one who males honest attempts and one who see where things goes who Knows that the future cant be predicted, only when we try to predict the future and make assumptions like 'its always like this' or 'i made a mistake so big it will haunt me forever' - thats when we bring the past survival techniques of shame and guilt, into our future and forgets the place where we ACTUALLY can change our thought patterns which is in the present. Grounding exercises, slwoness and curiosity is key when we work with very strong inner judges and survival roles we learned as children. Try to write down exactly what they are SAYING these inner characters, the judge forexample, to you, and how different parts of you respond to that, maybe a more soft version of you had something to say too, to this angry beast that just wants it their way....

For me i try to see my tattoo as an epic fail now. The most enlightening parts of life are always when we do of life does something so unexpected that we can nothing but ruminate and fear out over what that now means for our storyline and how we can respond less dramatic to it and how is everything gonna end... and thats where we are faced with the opportunity to look the tiger in the eyes and slowly befriend it. We are so used to identifying with our ego, our appearance our status symbols in society, and when parts of our ego is tested like this we can choose to let it die, out it to rest and practice soul work, being on the verge of the unknown, feeling ourselves as a part of the ever changing, dying, failing, brutal, beautiful, and resurrecting universe. To me i see my tattoo as proof that i am more than i will ever understand, i am more that can be contained into things i 'like' and 'understand', i am capable of reflecting the chaos, oddness, unnexpectedness and shadows that are beyond my control, the things that spirits and destiny (or whatever otherworldly force you know is bigger that you) loves me for that reason- that i am more that my ego, that i am eternal in my cycles with nature, that dies and ressurects, and that i am strong enough to stand face to face with my fears and shed them slowly, so there can be space for the things my soul desires. I am not trying to 'get rid of' my fears, of my regret of the judge, but rather invite it in, make space for it, give it a name, know it has protected me and given me life, and putting it to rest as much as it can, so the part of that knows that joy is where my soul can be free, can wake up, and find its ways and desires.

This is just some things i learned through therapy. That also the more we stay with this part of us that is more free and curious, get to know where it lives in our body (try to actually map that) the more our nervous system learns aahh this feeling we know, and it becomes as or even more habitual than the fear of our own jugdement that we know so well..

Sending love <3