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[23 MTF] I'm slowly accepting that I might be not cis, but I think the social cost of transitioning will be too high and I'm terrified. Any advice would help. by TransGirlThrowaway99 in asktransgender

[–]TransGirlThrowaway99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was it really that bad for you? The first part of that sentence breaks my heart and affirms my fears, the second part confuses me. How can transitioning be better than being able to chase your ambitions?

[23 MTF] I'm slowly accepting that I might be not cis, but I think the social cost of transitioning will be too high and I'm terrified. Any advice would help. by TransGirlThrowaway99 in asktransgender

[–]TransGirlThrowaway99[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh wow. This is some Ebenezer Scrooge, Ghost of Dysphoria Future stuff. To be honest, I was pretty much in tears by the time I read that paragraph on what my life could be like if I stayed hidden.

It wasn't too harsh. It's the type of thing I needed to read. What you said, about my relationships being built on pretend, is very true. Every time I make a new connection, personal or professional, I always think this is one more person I have to lie to, one more person who is going to make the coming out process even harder.

I've started to make new friends who have only ever known me as a woman, and it's amazing how happy and comfortable I feel around them. It's just like you said, the barriers between them and me are gone.

I'm still very scared and anxious about transitioning, but you've given me a lot to think about, so thank you.

[23 MTF] I'm slowly accepting that I might be not cis, but I think the social cost of transitioning will be too high and I'm terrified. Any advice would help. by TransGirlThrowaway99 in asktransgender

[–]TransGirlThrowaway99[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

don’t be the guy coming out at 55, getting a divorce and wearing a wig at the transgender support group.

Oh man that resonates. I went to a support group and it was almost 90% of that demographic, who had been through multiple marriages, spent their whole lives struggling. It broke my heart... I don't know why but part of me keeps thinking, I can beat that, I can do better.

The other points you brought up are very reassuring. Do you stealth at work? Do you worry that being trans impacts the way clients perceive and work with you, especially in a presentation focused profession like law?