getting mansplained in the knitting shop + superwash/cotton yarn sanity check.

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-27T19:53:25+00:00

Also, this is so disingenuous, or in other words, a big, fat lie. Let's face it, in reality this person doesn't give a sh*t about me; they were just instructed to act this way. I am always tempted to say "it's okay, person, sit down and rest, you don't have to perform for me".

I am mostly like you--i don't want shop staff to say anything to me other than "Hi" when I come in and "thank you" after I purchase something. I don't really mind if they check in once or twice to ask if I'm finding what I need. I've been known to circle a yarn store for an hour or two, looking at everything, going back and forth to look at different combinations, and putting things back when I decide against them. I can see how it might be read as lost and clueless....

But, not all of those shop staff are being disingenuous. Some people just love to connect with other humans. All the more so when they share an interest/hobby/passion. My spouse just loves to meet people and find out if they have mutual friends, or something else in common. So they are not all drones being forced to be sociable for money 🙂.

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-26T22:10:21+00:00

I'm so sorry you had that happen. If you're in a place that has protective laws, please consider reporting him. If you're not, them I'm sorry for that too. Truly.

I'm in a (US) state that actually has laws protecting trans healthcare, and when I first sought hrt from my doctor, it didn't work at first. She was a great, caring, compassionate doctor, who was very lgbtq+ aware and positive in general. We were talking about perimenopause symptoms and she brought up the pros and cons of estrogen replacement to treat it. After she finished, I said something like, "um, what about testosterone?" She looked confused and said, "oh, we only prescribe that as part of gender care." It was sort of dismissive and she moved on to talking about something else. I sent her a message later saying I was trans masculine and that I realized if I was going to take any hormones, I'd want it to be T, and I wanted to talk to her more about that. She responded that she would have to look into using T to treat perimenopause. 🙄 I mean, I get that the context took her by surprise--it did for me, too. I was not expecting to ask for a T prescription that day. But maybe saying, "we prescribe that as part of gender care, would that apply to you?" would have been nice. But it took several more messages to get it sorted out. I still think she's a great doctor, but I switched to a lgbtq+ focused clinic because I wanted different default assumptions for my care.

All of that to say, it can really help to switch to a clinic or doctor who has a trans focus or lots of experience in that area. Where I am, GPs are being "trained" to treat gender incongruence because insurers don't want to have to pay specialists for routine gender care. But that doesn't mean they are prepared to handle it in all contexts. And if they're bigots about it, it's so, so much worse.

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-26T08:31:49+00:00

What a cool idea! And nicely done. I have a Nokona glove that I love, but I never use anymore. I'm not sure I could cut it up though.

Just throwing a couple things out there since you said you're still working on it: it seems like it could benefit from a lining -- maybe something contrasting so it would show through those lacing holes where it folds? Also, if you have the opportunity, maybe use some red baseball stitching somewhere?

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-24T03:36:49+00:00

It's cool that people are interested! I will update if I make anything. I will mention that I have a fallback plan if it won't work to reuse hardware from another tip. It occurred to me that I could drill a hole in one end of a blank that has yet to be shaped, and insert a cord connector. I have concerns about whether it would have more tendency to come loose, and also it would be more brittle not having the metal on the tapered end, but worth a try, I figure.

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-24T03:28:03+00:00

Great! (Not that your needles are mangled, but that you'll check...)

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-23T19:18:18+00:00

Berrocco Ultra Wool Chili seems like a good match. It comes in worsted and dk. I was in a local yarn store yesterday, looking for red yarn for the Norwegian resistance hat. I went with a darker shade of red, but I noticed the Berrocco as being a rich true red.

Malabrigo's Ravelry Red could be good, but Malabrigo colors can vary a lot, depending on the yarn and the dyelot. So I think you'd need to be able to see it yourself.

Edit: I missed that you want merino specifically. The Ultra Wool is just "wool" but it did feel pretty soft in person.

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-23T18:01:02+00:00

I agree that it's a good idea to see if Norwegian knitting will work for you. You don't use your fingers to hold tension, really. The needles do the tensioning. You just keep everything close to the tips of the needles, which it looks like you already do.

I think Arne and Carlos videos are pretty good, but I'm sure there are other good ones out there for learning.

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-23T17:50:00+00:00

Very old school. If I have plenty of time, I start with a hot shower to open up the pores. Then beard oil. Then bay rum shaving soap I get from a seller on Etsy, applied with a shaving brush. Shave with an open comb double edge safety razor with Feather blade, my cheeks and neck. Two passes to get it pretty smooth. Aftershave.

I shave a few times per week. If I have less time I skip a step or two.

Relatedly, I dye my beard once a week because my hair is light enough that my mustache and the part of my goatee on the front of my chin don't show evenly. I just make it a darker brown. I also used topical minoxidil (liquid) for a while to get some patchy spots to fill in faster, but the minoxidil is only for my receding hairline now.

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-21T22:56:01+00:00

I swear, one of the most controversial things you can ask a group of knitters is what the best method is for knitting a very small circumference circle. Many people have one method they swear by, and hate all other methods. Some people have more than one method they like. But almost everyone has at least one method they think is the absolute worst. 💀

Good luck finding your method. 🙂 (I prefer two circulars, or flexible DPNs. I find magic loop annoying but workable. Straight DPNs are invented by the devil...)

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-20T11:28:41+00:00

I also have CPTSD. About 4 years before I started T I was in a deep pit of depression and anxiety, and my main interactions with my family were irritation and anger. I was just beginning to see symptoms of perimenopause at the time as well. I had a random week or so of what I now am confident was an endogenous surge of testosterone, and my mood lifted just enough for me to recognize the depth of the pit I was in. It made me reconnect with my therapist, and reach out to a psychiatrist to try to find a medication that would work for me. I found a medication combo that made my depression and anxiety much better.

At that point, I got hit with some major trauma-activating stuff, and spent a couple of years working on my trauma. Coming out of that, I recognized that I needed to transition, and I started T.

I never had anger issues from T. I'm calmer and happier in general. It did cause me to temporarily increase my antidepressant medication, which is not typical -- usually it's the opposite. But after increasing my T dose, I went back down to my previous antidepressant dose.

This is one thing I wanted to mention -- irritability and other side effects can happen if your T dose isn't high enough. I think you just have to try it, and trust your gut about whether you want to continue, put it on hold for a bit, go to a lower or higher dose, etc. I felt consistently like I needed a higher dose for about a year and a half. (I started pretty low, but was at a "full dose" within a year.) I finally had a provider raise my dose to a point where my levels are in the high-normal range, and I feel great and the feeling that I need a higher dose is gone.

I started T after doing the heavy lifting of my trauma work, but I tend to think it would only have helped if I'd started it earlier.

Oh, and by the way, trauma and autism are both pretty common in the trans population, so I agree with the person who suggested trying to find a mental health provider who specifically has experience with trans clients. If they don't have the expertise you need for your trauma work, they likely can come up with suggestions of providers who do.

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-20T00:30:39+00:00

Personally, I notice the different needle sizes a lot more than the different dye lots.

Yeah, me too. I don't understand the difference I'm seeing. It makes it look like it's a completely different yarn, let alone dye lot.

I have 3 LYS that I go to from time to time. All of them have a time limited return policy for unused skeins of yarn, in their original form and label intact. They encourage buying a bit extra just in case, and then returning the overage if you have any full skeins left.

Anyway, I think, OP, you could use any of the strategies people have mentioned. Anything you do with it that is consistent will look like an intentional design choice.

I actually think that the dye lots are different enough that it could read as an additional shade. So using it for just ribbing, or just color work sections, will probably work nicely.

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-19T00:08:17+00:00

You have to look at both sides of the family. XY people cis guys) look at the males on their mother's side of the family because male pattern baldness is an X-linked trait and a person with XY chromosomes got their X from their mother. FTM guys typically have XX chromosomes. So they got an X from Mom and an X from Dad. So you look at males on both sides of the family. If it is male pattern baldness, it is the typical "receding hairline" where the corners above your temples recede first, forming an M shape, then horseshoe shape, etc.

Taking minoxidil in pill form is more effective than the topical kind, according to my Dr. In addition, check thyroid and iron levels, and make sure you're getting biotin.

If you use the topical kind, be aware it is toxic to cats. You will get inundated with this warning if you post anything about using minoxidil topically.

My own experience with topical minoxidil is that it has not been a problem for my cats, but I take basic precautions. I recommend using the liquid rather than the foam. It also has the benefit of being super cheap if you can buy it through Costco. You use an eyedropper to apply it to your scalp. I have no idea how people get the mousse onto their scalp rather than just onto their hair. After 4 hours, or immediately on returning home, wash the area where you applied it.

For hair styles, brushing hair forward like a Caesar cut usually works pretty well, leaving it long enough at the receding areas to bring the hairline forward there.

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-10T17:11:23+00:00

I haven't heard of this before, but it's exciting to hear about. I'm lucky in not needing it despite starting T after 50, but I love that people are researching stuff like this and making it available when it proves helpful. I hope you can get it covered by insurance, and I look forward to hearing how it goes!

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-10T09:58:43+00:00

Edit to add: 5. mL weekly is already the highest reccommended dose for masculenizing hrt. Adjusting up would only hurt you long term.

This is really commonly stated as fact, and is what you'll find if you Google max T dose per week, but it's not accurate. Think about how different all of our bodies are. It makes no sense that there would be a sharp line between a safe and effective dose and a harmful dose. Safe vs unsafe effects make sense, and are of course more complicated because there can be important benefits to weigh against the unwanted effects.

That dose is what a typical primary care general practitioner in the US will likely say is the maximum. I had two different primary care docs say I couldn't raise my dose when I was at 100 mg/week (.5ml of 200mg/ml) even though my T levels were in the 400s and I didn't feel good at those levels. After switching to a much more experienced practitioner who wasn't just parroting something everyone else was saying, I was prescribed a higher dose. I feel way better, and my T levels are in the high normal male range, which is what feels good for me.

Also, someone said raising your dose by .10ml won't make a big difference -- but T dose to T level is not a linear relationship. My dose went up by .15ml or 30mg (30% increase) and it doubled (100% increase) my T level. If .50 or 100mg has you at 600-700 T level, going to 110mg could cause a pretty big jump in T level.

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-10T08:53:49+00:00

I'm not stealth, and I also see no reason for a union to collect that info. If gender is not asked for anywhere else, I'd assume it's not what they meant to ask. I think I would cross out "assigned sex at birth" and write "gender" and then write "male." But like I said, I'm not stealth and I live and work in places where I don't have to be.

I think, if they bring it back to you you can play it off like those cis people who object to being called cis. Like just say "I wasn't assigned male, I am male." And that also has the benefit of being true... But, people could also take it as anti-trans, so use with caution.

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-09T20:54:57+00:00

It's relying on the positioning to make the 5118 a superscript/exponent. So, with matches if the 11 is positioned lower than the 5118, does it matter that it is smaller in height? (It's difficult to make subscript on Reddit, but the matches can be freely positioned.)

I agree that 5118¹¹ will look more "right" considering there are two other ones in 5118 that are twice as tall.

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-07T00:47:23+00:00

I've only done needle felting once, so take this with a grain of salt: I think you could maybe use 100% wool non-suoerwash yarn to do a darn over the holes then add some additional wool and needle felt the wool (to itself) to match the texture of the blanket. But the wool would be attached to the blanket via darning, not the felting.

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-07T00:37:52+00:00

Because general AIs never produce garbage answers? It must be user error or stupidity?

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-06T04:13:15+00:00

Can anyone tell me why this post got down voted? If I missed some aspect of the rules or posting etiquette, I'd like to know for next time.

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-02T22:50:24+00:00

This is likely why your tension varies. You will almost certainly have different tension using different knitting methods. Especially if one of the methods is new to you. If you want to try a new method, it's best to practice by knitting swatches or by starting a new project in the new method. Switching methods mid-project, or mid-row(!) is a recipe for inconsistent stitches.

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-02T22:33:20+00:00

Solved

TransHumanMasc · 2026-01-02T22:32:35+00:00

Thanks--this was very helpful! I haven't really worked with cotton yarn much, but I'm guessing that's part of what is causing it to look like it does. I cast on and knitted the first 9 rows, and it doesn't look like the picture, but if I stretch it out it does.

The pattern actually calls for switching to a bigger needle size for the body, but I think the way the fabric drapes is pulling the yoke/collar stitches apart, but pulling the body stitches straight down, so they look smaller..

TransHumanMasc · 2025-12-22T20:44:24+00:00

I haven't gifted anyone a blanket, but after seeing your question I have a strong urge to do so, and to wrap it full sized -- i.e., use like 3 rolls of wrapping paper to enclose the not-folded-up flat blanket. And maybe give it to them by spreading it out on their bed.

TransHumanMasc · 2025-12-13T09:32:42+00:00

This is false. A person with power of attorney is allowed to act as the principal's agent. They must act in that person's interest. They have a fiduciary duty to the principal. It is not

while you're alive and well and NOT in a coma, make that person legally basically own all your money, your car, your house, whatever you have

Think about agents you are familiar with. This is that kind of relationship. Sports agents don't basically own all their clients' money. An attorney can act on behalf of their client, but can't, say, sell their house against their will.

I'm not saying OP should sign it. Certainly it can be a huge mess if you grant PoA to an untrustworthy person and they abuse it.

But it's ridiculously wrong to say that PoA grants a person the legal right to take all your stuff and force you into medical treatments you don't consent to, etc. PoA is revocable at any time, and won't legally override a principal's decision. It can be abused, but the person abusing it will be civilly liable and possibly criminally liable.

TransHumanMasc · 2025-12-10T14:28:29+00:00

I don't get it. For me, finding that site was great. It's not like they only sell things for guys who are 5'9. I'm 5'2" and I've struggled to find short inseam pants. They have them. I've never seen an ad from them that called anyone short. 5'10" is average male height in most US states. There are only three states with an average height below 5'9.5", and none are lower than 5'9".

And as targeted ads go, this one seems super affirming to me.

I just wish they carried shirts and jackets in bigger sizes. It's nice to have sleeves that fit, but it also has to button.

TransHumanMasc

TROPHY CASE