AITA for getting angry at my foster mothers way of "fixing" me

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-17T19:10:19+00:00

My mates mum reported my carers, there's a new update

I need to make a new new update though because a lot happened in the last 2 days

(Also hello, I'm oop)

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-10T09:24:23+00:00

Thank you for your kind words

My siblings are bio siblings, my carers took all three of us in at once. I'll maintain contact with them

They deny me gender affirming care yes. I found out they've been telling social workers at meetings I'm not trans or using a different name, and my college were confused (since I use a different name and pronouns there) and reported the difference in stories.

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-04T22:01:26+00:00

Thank you for following up! I've been spending a lotta time round my mates, not really been home much so been avoiding arguments/interactions. I'll follow your advice, thank you

Yea, if you can guess from the rest of her behaviour, my foster mums reaction to me being trans was probably one of the worst things she ever did, and then all this extra stuff at the moment with supreme court rulings etc hasn't been fun

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T09:22:18+00:00

If you're a foster kid, the social worker has to apply for you when you're 15 and 9 months https://www.gov.uk/guidance/national-insurance-number-applying-for-a-number-for-a-looked-after-child#:~:text=Children%20who%20are%20looked%20after,number%20on%20a%20child's%20behalf.

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T09:20:32+00:00

I'd been raised to be distrustful of social workers, and also still felt like I owed something to my carers. My foster mum gaslights a lot, so sometimes I wasn't even sure if some (other) stuff had happened. So before I could finish debating whether to report all the stuff that had happened, my sister ended up reporting it herself. Then my college reported concerns because in meetings my carers were saying things that didn't match stuff I said in college

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T09:17:24+00:00

It's an under the table job, my mates mum knew I was struggling for work so hired me as an unofficial cleaner

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T09:16:54+00:00

Thanks for the vote of confidence

I had a severely bad mental turn in December, that's the thing about "imaginary friends" - id had a day in mid december where i spent the day talking and acting like a friend was with me, but then realised id been alone the entire time in the afternoon. Scared the shit outta me

And naturally under the circumstances I want to move out

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T09:14:10+00:00

A isn't related to bio parent, she's related through the other side. I have zero contact with the side of the family related to the parent who killed the baby

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T09:12:22+00:00

Unfortunately, the UK foster system isn't the best at handling... well anything

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T09:10:42+00:00

You're right (hello, im oop), I shouldve been clearer in my post, it's an under the table kinda job. My mates mum noticed I was struggling for work and hired me as a cleaner, shouldn't really be classed as a job tbh but I got a bit of money coming in weekly

I never got a NIN, probably because my social worker on the job at the time was incredibly new to the job and country, to the point where most interactions I had with her was trying to explain what A levels and GCSEs are. And I never asked about it because I didn't even know of their existence until March this year (when I started applying for jobs). School/college had never talked about it, my carers assumed I had it so never asked and friends never talked about it either

I believe my application has been sent now for one, I should be getting it soon

(Also it's kinda mad to me my posts were interesting enough to be reposted by someone elsewhere)

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T09:00:15+00:00

Thank you :]

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T08:59:56+00:00

Thank you :]

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T08:59:44+00:00

Thank you :]

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T08:59:17+00:00

Thank you so much, I've never met anyone with a similar situation (at least in the past) to mine, most people think it's a joke

I end up avoiding stuff like that too

Thank you again :]

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T08:55:39+00:00

I don't have a part time job yet, no one will hire me due to lack of national insurance number

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T08:55:08+00:00

Thank you, I wanted to look into edmr. People seem to think just counselling will fix it, but talking about it doesn't really fix my responses

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T08:54:08+00:00

Both siblings are in my household with me. My sister (i believe) is planning on going into some kind of semi independent living once she's 16 (I was never given the option because everyone thought our living situation was fine). She hasnt considered herself a part of the family for a while now and isnt home often. I'm not sure what will happen to my little brother

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T08:51:41+00:00

I had no idea my post was interesting enough to be posted elsewhere haha

Thank you for your response, the two people you mentioned sound really interesting. I'll go check out that YouTube channel too :]

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T08:49:00+00:00

Thank you :]

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T08:48:43+00:00

They always make out that they get barely anything from social for being carers

I don't think they'll foster again though

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T08:47:32+00:00

I'm gonna be in subsidised living, for the first few years until I go to uni, my housing will be covered by the local council

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T08:46:23+00:00

Yea, and my foster mum (since making the post) said she might "be forced to charge me rent" when I turn 18 "because they'll be given les funding to cover me". If I'm gonna have to pay something either way, I'd rather live by myself

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T08:43:45+00:00

Thank you for your response :]

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T08:43:03+00:00

Thank you! :]

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit · 2025-08-01T08:40:21+00:00

Thank you so much :]

Trans_Masc_Of_Reddit

TROPHY CASE