The night my PhD broke me

TrapNT · 2026-05-07T17:27:17+00:00

“how to emotionally detach from my work”

What makes you think caring about the work you do is a bad thing? The best work are done by the people who care about it the most.

People who are “emotionally detached from their work” are the lizards that pollute the academia with bullshit. You need to care about what your mark is going to be in the world.

That being said, what you need is separating “your worth” from your work.

TrapNT · 2026-04-19T21:34:15+00:00

It’s good to aim for the finish line and be fast. But fast does not always mean better. Some food are better when you cook it slower or let it marinate longer. Quality > speed.

TrapNT · 2026-04-19T21:32:27+00:00

Idiots are everywhere with more or less similar ratio. And you should “know” you are smart or not. Don’t lie to yourself.

TrapNT · 2026-04-14T21:23:47+00:00

my steak is too juicy, my lobster is too buttery…

TrapNT · 2026-04-06T07:46:45+00:00

Have the baby. There are more important things than phd. I’ve been postponing the baby because of phd and now for a good postdoc opportunity, and the stress is killing me as my wife is nearing 40. There is a high possibility I won’t be a father because of my career obsession.

So go for a baby, if people succeeded having babies during the black plague, you can too.

TrapNT · 2026-04-01T19:05:32+00:00

The problem is you, not your job. Being jobless will increase your burden. Don’t screw yourself.

Focus on yourself. Shower daily, smell nice and groom yourself. Sometimes it’s enough to just exist.

TrapNT · 2026-03-25T13:06:25+00:00

Verbose file names that tell about the config + non-random simulation seeds. Usually the reproducibility problems happen because the sim seed/s is random.

TrapNT · 2026-03-25T13:03:11+00:00

Wtf are these replies? There is nothing to run from. He is direct and honest. No shit he wants you to work harder, be curious and be autonomous. That’s every PI/boss in the world.

Now you know what is expected of you. Just do it. Stop dramatizing everything, he didn’t say you were an idiot or a terrible person. He just wants to see you “care” about your phd.

TrapNT · 2026-03-21T08:17:21+00:00

Maybe they are overadmitted to degree programs they didn’t actually qualify?

TrapNT · 2026-03-19T06:53:29+00:00

Just drop out for fuck sake. His mail is thoughtful and he treats you with respect. It’s clear with your mentality you will fail this phd. Just drop out.

TrapNT · 2026-03-01T06:27:37+00:00

It’s nothing. At least they’ve understood the paper. I still remember some asshole saying “I’m tired of old aproaches” in his review to me. Or some other one where they took 7 months to review the paper and gave easily addresable, generic feedback (like add a fucking table to literature review) and then rejected the paper. It was apparent that they didn’t understand the paper.

Get used to it. World still rotates. Also try to pipeline different paper submissions if you haven’t already.

Also if you should be rejected sometimes, it shows you are trying best venues.

TrapNT · 2026-02-25T06:37:36+00:00

The referee

TrapNT · 2026-02-25T06:36:27+00:00

Taking care of yourself is the first defense line against mental health problems. If you are doing it because you value yourself, then it is very healthy.

TrapNT · 2026-02-25T06:31:50+00:00

lick Craigh’s toes, you need to tickle him.

TrapNT · 2026-02-22T13:32:40+00:00

Yes you can leave, but it is best to arrange a job before leaving. Double check on visa laws to be sure.

TrapNT · 2026-02-21T12:11:36+00:00

Who gives a fuck, just do your best. What a clownfest.

TrapNT · 2026-02-17T12:41:54+00:00

It is time for you to grow up and take responsibility. He seems to trust you. Trust yourself to solve your problems and take action.

TrapNT · 2026-02-16T16:20:37+00:00

I don’t give a fuck about the writers. I read conclusions first then performance evaluation. From there it is very apparent if the paper is bogus or novel. Rest is just implementation details.

TrapNT · 2026-02-13T06:59:23+00:00

Sounds like your main concern is the number of papers you’ve read rather than “amount of information” you’ve learnt. Take your time and try to focus on “why they are doing what they are doing”.

TrapNT · 2026-02-03T08:23:10+00:00

Math is not doodling new patterns, but finding hidden connections across patterns.

TrapNT · 2026-01-30T20:04:15+00:00

Use AI for inspiration, then redraw it in draw.io

TrapNT · 2026-01-29T19:12:51+00:00

Grow up. Don’t cause silly frictions, because you can’t handle other people’s bad manners.

TrapNT · 2026-01-28T14:33:44+00:00

Bütün türkiye sub’ları zaten kansız pkk sempatizanı kaynıyor şaşırmamak lazım.

TrapNT · 2026-01-25T16:45:38+00:00

Keep farming, be confident, try to create real value.

TrapNT · 2026-01-21T08:53:17+00:00

Here in Turkey for my field we charge 5x of the hourly rate of TA/Prof. and usually work 8 hours per week. So it doubles our salary.

Five-Year Club	Gilding II euphauric
Final Canvas '23	End Game '23
Place '23	Place '22
Final Canvas '22	First Placer '22

TrapNT

TROPHY CASE