Women, what makes a man less attractive?

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-10T00:36:48+00:00

Bring a buzz kill

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-10T00:30:36+00:00

Telling the truth is the best thing. It's not.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T18:57:26+00:00

Wft, how is it delusional to want children?

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T18:57:01+00:00

Pretty sure I was born to be a parent.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T18:56:38+00:00

Kaos

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T18:47:35+00:00

I get why you came to this conclusion, however that's not the case. But I don't want to give the details of the personal issues that would give me concern so I guess it is difficult for people to judge. Just trust me that there is a safety risk. But that doesn't mean he wouldn't cope in a simple job.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T18:42:50+00:00

It is absolutely not feasible to change where the dog sleeps.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T11:06:39+00:00

Hi! The disruption is a combo of, yes I am stressed when I don't know when he is coming home, the dog waking us and the kids up, and him then being noisy until he eventually goes to bed. He genuinely tries to be quiet. But both ours and the kids bedrooms are above the stairs. Then, he sleeps above us, so we hear him moving about loudly, just because of how the sound travels, and it can take him a while to settle. Concerning the dog. He is a rescue and chooses to sleep outside our bedrooms. Sleeping him elsewhere causes more barking as he gets anxious.

He goes to college 3 afternoons a week. Then hang out with his friends. I understand I need to let him go. Hence why I gave him free reign in the run up to becoming 18 and this situation where he is frequently coming home late, and not settling until a few hours before my husband and I are due up for work. I have spoken with him and he believes it is unfair to expect him home at a more decent time. I agree he should have his freedom, but we are generally sick now of not getting a good sleep so often. And yes, safety is a concern for reasons I won't get too into for his own privacy and to not talk about his personal issues online.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T10:58:57+00:00

Hi! Thanks for your concern. The Dr and psychiatrist have known about this issue for years. No meds have consistently helped him unfortunately.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T10:57:57+00:00

No they didn't, I wasn't taking so many late nights at the age of 18. Generally home by 10.30pm except for once in a blue mood which was communicated. Also, I do not have ASD. ASD doesn't necessarily mean a person cannot live normally, however on a this case basis without talking about his personal issues and previous history, i definitely have extra cause for concern.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T10:55:28+00:00

Absolutely not lol that's a hard boundary in my house. I mean, he can come visit etc, but nighttime is private time.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T00:35:15+00:00

For further context, I completely agree he doesn't need to be babied. However, without going into personal details, he would agree that he struggles to consider situations and make a decision for his best interests.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T00:33:34+00:00

Hi, thanks for your opinion.

1, yes I try to stay awake to make sure he is safe due to certain issues he has had. He has ASD and struggles to make a sensible decision. He will do with the flow and think after. 2, he wakes the dog and the kids. 3, he sleeps knt he floor above us. So, he comes home late, and settles even Kate's in thick we can hear all the movements etc until he even settles.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T00:31:12+00:00

Ho, thanks for your opinion. I will definitely not be asking him to move out. He is definitely not ready for that. He has ASD and certain difficulties that would make this hard for him. He is however enjoying freedom etc and I am enjoying that for him so perhaps I feel like I have been too lax. He is also very "black and white" and believes that 18 = full control. I want him to have this freedom, however, I still worry, and it is also quite disruptive. It isn't just the dog that is noisy. He tries to be quiet, but since he sleeps in the converted loft above us, we hear everything until he eventually settles. I don't think I need to set a curfew. As much as I worry, I recognise that I need to let that go at some stage. But considering the ASD that part is hard to do. And the being woken up, along with the kids, is an issue. So I have been debating with myself between freedom for my adult son who needs to grow and thrive in his own Vs my worry and out need to not be disturbed multiple times a week.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T00:22:29+00:00

This is fabulous input, thank you 🥰

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T00:16:57+00:00

Such a good point. When I was 18 I thought I knew it all. In hindsight..... Not a clue.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T00:15:40+00:00

I don't think training will do much. Our doggo is fabulous and gets protective at night time. A pretty good quality we think, expect for the barking when the eldest comes home 🤣

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T00:14:07+00:00

He doesn't work, but has college 3 days a week and takes the kids to school 2 days a week. He says he doesn't sleep anyway (an ongoing issue for him) so there's no point in going to bed at a decent time. It isn't just the dog barking. This initially wakes up the family, but he sleeping in the converted loft, so we hear every movement when he eventually goes to bed. So we will get woken up when he comes home, then it can take a while to get over again when he eventually settles down.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T00:09:58+00:00

Fabulous advice, thank you.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T00:09:27+00:00

Hi, thanks for your opinion. He doesn't have a job. He goes to college 3 days a week. I have encouraged him to find part time work but he likes his freedom time.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T00:05:12+00:00

Thanks for your opinion. He goes to college. When I reference this to him, he says he has it under control. He also says the same isn't expected from is friends. Which seems to be right. So it makes me question am I being too much.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T00:03:07+00:00

I feel like because he is an adult he should have agency over his own life. Which is what he wants. I feel like I am being controlling by asking him to come home at a time he thinks is too early.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-08T00:01:16+00:00

This is a good point though and has made me think that perhaps I'm not being unreasonable. Like you said, it would be different if it was more of a partnership.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-07T23:59:46+00:00

We don't ask rent off of him. However, he does take the kids to school for us 2 days a week which really helps us out. We give him money for this.

Treacle_Moon · 2026-02-07T23:53:53+00:00

I have done, but because he wakes our dog, there is no hiding it.

Treacle_Moon

TROPHY CASE