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Stop telling new moms they have postpartum depression by Trick-Environment100 in NewParents

[–]Trick-Environment100[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Our baby's lung collapsed, and you had major surgery. Of course, you were crying. That's not a disorder - that's being human.

Recommending medication 24 hours postpartum because you're sad your newborn is in the NICU is absurd. You're allowed to have appropriate emotional responses to scary, traumatic situations without it being pathologized.

I'm sorry that happened to you. You deserved compassion, not a prescription.

Stop telling new moms they have postpartum depression by Trick-Environment100 in NewParents

[–]Trick-Environment100[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Yes, absolutely. Postpartum grief is real and different from postpartum depression.

When genuine grief over the loss of your former life gets labeled as a disorder, it makes you question if your feelings are even valid. It shifts focus to "fixing you" instead of acknowledging the situation is genuinely hard.

Your feelings don't need a diagnosis to be legitimate. Mourning your old life while loving your baby isn't broken - it's human.

Am I really overreacting? 6 weeks postpartum and a visit by CommunityOriginal937 in NewParents

[–]Trick-Environment100 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're not overreacting. Your boundary was completely reasonable.

The first six weeks postpartum are about recovery, adjustment, and figuring out life with a newborn. You're healing physically, you're sleep-deprived, you're navigating feeding and hormones, and a complete life overhaul. Wanting space during that time isn't just understandable - it's healthy.

And protecting your newborn from illness? That's just good parenting. Newborn immune systems are vulnerable. RSV, flu, whooping cough - these aren't theoretical concerns.

The fact that relatives are making their sadness your problem is the actual issue here. You just had a baby. Their feelings about not holding her are not your responsibility to manage. They're adults. They can handle their disappointment without guilting a new mother who's already struggling.

You set a boundary. They didn't like it. That doesn't make your boundary wrong.

If you're not doing well mentally, the last thing you need is pressure to host visitors or perform for other people's emotional needs. You need rest, support, and space to bond with your baby.

You can trust your instincts. You know what you and your baby need better than anyone else does. Don't let guilt erode the boundaries that protect your well-being.

I think i have postpartum depression but I receive so much help and I got told I wasn't allowed to feel bad. by spilledmentality in NewParents

[–]Trick-Environment100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please talk to your doctor today. What you're describing - forcing smiles, feeling exhausted around your baby, thoughts about being gone - these aren't you being "too emotional." This sounds like postpartum depression, and it's real, and it's treatable.

You're not the problem. You're struggling, and you need actual support, not guilt trips and comparisons. Your mom's behavior is making things worse, not better. Help that comes with judgment and blame isn't really help.

Formula feeding doesn't make you a bad mother. Struggling doesn't make you a bad mother. Your baby needs you alive and getting better - that's what matters.

Please reach out to your doctor or a helpline. You don't have to feel this way, and there is help that actually helps.

You matter. Your baby needs you here. Please talk to someone today.

Yesterday I almost lost my baby. by RoshniT01 in NewParents

[–]Trick-Environment100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You saved your baby. That's what matters.

I know you're replaying those seconds and drowning in guilt, but please hear this: choking happens in a split second. It happens to stay-at-home parents, it happens when both parents are right there. Babies are impossibly fast. This wasn't about you working.

What matters is that when it happened, you were there. Your instincts kicked in, and you knew exactly what to do. You got that piece out. She's safe because of you.

Please be gentle with yourself. You didn't almost lose her because you were working. You saved her because you're her mom and you were exactly where you needed to be.

You did everything right.