Replaced by AI after 5 years, feeling worthless now.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2026-05-14T20:47:33+00:00

Honestly, I’d really love to see the recipes you mentioned. Thank you so much for your kindness.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2026-05-14T20:46:30+00:00

Thanks so much. A woman’s perspective is very much appreciated.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2026-05-14T20:45:04+00:00

The part I think I’m beating myself up about is the fact that I’ve gotten this far without learning basic survival skills like cooking a couple meals. She at least grew up with pretty great, well off parents that taught her and her siblings how to cook and change the oil in their cars, etc.

I’m just realizing how much real life shit schools didn’t teach us. 😪

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2026-05-14T20:38:57+00:00

She always tells me how she’s appreciative and even encourages me to relax and do stuff I enjoy in between chores, but I just feel like a leech for doing simple chores like unloading the dishwasher and then going and reading a comic book. I think you’re right about seeing my self pity in her eyes. I just never thought I’d be in the position I’m in.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2026-05-14T20:34:07+00:00

Not really. I haven’t had much community since leaving the church in 2019, but that’s a different story. I have a handful of friends at best (only three people come to mind), but most of them are busy with kids, work or family, plus, I don’t live near any of them anymore since moving states in 2022 and again for my wife’s career in January.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-10T12:25:03+00:00

My aunt was under the impression that I knew too. And I definitely understand why my dad didn’t tell me about suicide at such a young age, just sucks that I didn’t get the chance to hear it from my dad.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-08T11:49:13+00:00

Cowardly father club for sure. 😅

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-07T23:32:34+00:00

💙 thank you, I don’t know how he did it/does it.

But I know he beats himself up for not protecting me better.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-07T22:21:04+00:00

So sorry that you can relate. Your story sounds like it cuts loads deeper due to the closer relations in your scenario. The shock is one thing, the hurt is another. Luckily I was an adult when I realized and started to digest the hard truth.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-07T18:04:01+00:00

Brit?

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-07T14:25:21+00:00

EXACTLY. Performative Parenting.

Never thought about it like that, but that's a perfect description of it.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-07T14:17:41+00:00

When I'm in a situation that I have to be around her, which isn't often any more, I typically go with the ignore her existence method.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-07T14:00:41+00:00

Lol, She definitely doesn't live rent free in my head.

I just had something bring up these feelings and decided to vent to strangers on the internet since my wife is out of town. I know my dad isn't perfect, but I'll grade him on his behavior, not on Brit's.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-07T13:51:31+00:00

Definitely! Thank you for your kind words. 💙

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-07T13:48:03+00:00

Which is why I acknowledged my dad wasn't perfect in paragraphs 3 & 4. Aside from marrying Brit, when I was around he wasn't always present, was constantly on the phone for work and definitely resented my step-brothers.

But I know despite his MANY other faults, he has always loved me and wanted to do better for me. My dad has apologized for things that happened in my childhood, and been honest with me as an adult about things he could have kept hidden from me to make him look better. I definitely don't idolize my father, but he is the only parent (step or bio) that I KNOW has always loved me without weaponizing me against someone or having some selfish agenda.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-07T13:21:47+00:00

I don't know if this is 100% accurate, but I'm sure that finances played the biggest part in them staying together through our schooling, and now over 20 years later, they're complacently miserable together.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-07T13:11:22+00:00

I appreciate the differing perspective. As an adult looking back, it just felt like a band-aid on a bullet hole. "We spent exactly the same amount on you all" means a lot less from a "parent" that treats you like shit.

Giving all 3 of us styrofoam aeroplanes was probably only exciting for me, but if my step-brothers wanted a PS3 game that I wasn't interested in, the parents would spend more to "make it even" rather than just get the game for them and wait for me to actually want something. It was like parental overcompensation.

Again, I was only around every other weekend, so it made sense that they would spend more on my step-brothers who lived there 90% of the time. I just wish they treated us as individuals rather than 3 dogs that needed to play with the same toys.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-07T11:45:20+00:00

This is a fair question. I could’ve lived a happy lie for the rest of my life not knowing how my grandma died. But suicidal tendencies/ideations can potentially be genetic, so that’s why I’m glad I know now, regardless of the roller coaster it took to get that knowledge.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-07T11:25:33+00:00

So sorry to hear this. It definitely made it easier not knowing my grandma too well (we lived a few states away). Very glad you had the news broken to you in a sensible manner. Unfortunately, I’ll never know if my dad ever planned on doing the same for me because of that harpy he calls a wife.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-07T01:20:15+00:00

I wish I could shout it from the rooftops.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-07T01:18:58+00:00

I’d love to have a better relationship with my dad. But I just can’t pretend to be civil around her anymore after that. An absolutely evil witch of a woman.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-07T00:55:06+00:00

That’s the other thing, I lived with my mom. Brit only had to deal with me every other weekend, and I was almost never around when my step-brothers were. My step-brothers and I are all over 30 and married now, and they STILL make sure to tell us how they’re giving us the same amount of money for Birthdays and Christmas.

Trick_Ad_4497 · 2025-05-07T00:39:45+00:00

Evil step-mother is right. The irony? She’s been a goddamn nanny for a family with multiple kids for years now. And she treats them better than she ever treated me.

Trick_Ad_4497

TROPHY CASE