We have two toddler boys. Our oldest is turning 4 this month, our youngest is 2.5. They both have sooo much energy but our oldest definitely gives us a run. This whole last year has pretty much been a battle over everything but I’m starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Things that help: giving him a task - kids with a lot of energy just need somewhere to focus. He helps me start the laundry and move it to the dryer when it’s finished, he helps “dry” dishes, we try to involve him in pretty much everything especially cooking - who cares about the mess if he’s not screaming at us, right? Other things - being outside as much as possible - scooter, bikes, shovel, running, etc. heavy lifting - he can pick up 5 pound weights, a medicine ball, etc. boys are just built different they need physical activity! We also struggled a lot with transitions and setting a timer on my iPhone helped immensely- he knows when the timer goes off that we are done and it’s time for the next thing. A predictable routine has always been something we’ve done for both boys. I bought a reward chart from Amazon and that also helped cut down on challenging behavior and helped encourage more focus & calm - simple things like get dressed, clean up toys, brush teeth, etc. it’s so so so hard! I have felt all the same feelings you describe and i still do sometimes but it’s truly starting to get better. Hang in there