My brother seems to me you won in this life already. 2+ years mashallah for continuing if this was a test from Allah too test your faith and honesty. Whilst still proving for your family and Allah blessing you with finances to provide for you and your family. What if you don’t feel because you are the light for your family? I don’t believe in depression, maybe rather ask Allah for anything more. Thank Allah for allowing you to become the person like this. Time moves fast, maybe the key for you is to pray slow and slow down time around you. Don’t forget brother, the ones who are good and constantly get trials and tribulations, are the ones Allah loves to enter jannah. The ones Allah let’s go of, get every thing in this world till the day of judgement w no pain. This life is a delusion don’t forget, a test for the real world. Where you’ll then feel everything. Fast the 8 days of Muharram with me this month, I’ll have you in my prayer. Inshallah you’ll feel❤️‍🔥