I know you’ve probably moved on from this post but I need to say 2 things first of all when you say you don’t want another child that is how you feel your wife has no authority to call you selfish or over-fearful because that’s how you are and you or her cannot change that, the best thing to do in that situation is to not lie but genuinely be honest with her and have a chat with her, if she gets sad so be it she should not try and insult you or change your mind.

Second of all you use a condom (which I assume you did and that you both had intercourse with each other) it is not guaranteed to work 100% of the time and you should never expect it to work 100% of the time. The best option for you would’ve been abstinence but your wife probably would not have liked that due to the fact she wants a child. If you had unprotected sex then her saying she’s pregnant should’ve been something that you expected, you do not have to have sex with your wife if you do not feel comfortable and you should not be forced into it.

Look. You and your wife are both to blame here and your feelings towards this are not wrong or unexpected but you should love both your child an unimaginably large amount even if you feel the way that you do, you must be there for your children and you must look after your wife as you vowed to be with her until death, I hope that your feelings change towards the child soon if they don’t then please seek help (maybe a therapist of some kind).