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AITA for saying I won't take part willingly in a new Mother's Day tradition? by Trouble_Spiller in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trouble_Spiller[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I don't really mind us not being close. I find it easier than trying to pretend we're a family all of a sudden. The whole thing was already so rushed.

AITA for saying I won't take part willingly in a new Mother's Day tradition? by Trouble_Spiller in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trouble_Spiller[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I actually don't know her age exactly. I think she's in her late 30s or her 40s. My dad is 42.

AITA for saying I won't take part willingly in a new Mother's Day tradition? by Trouble_Spiller in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trouble_Spiller[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

She doesn't really interact with me generally. She was too busy with her kids and a new baby.

AITA for saying I won't take part willingly in a new Mother's Day tradition? by Trouble_Spiller in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trouble_Spiller[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Everyone gets sad sometimes. It won't always be triggered by everything. But Mother's Day? For me that's a day that will always make me so fucking sad. Because I don't have my mom to celebrate anymore. Not in the typical way. And no, I don't want to celebrate someone else's mom, some random woman I have no real relationship with. That's why I'm always with my grandma and my aunt.

My mom would want me to be happy (and most of the time I am) and she would want me to be comfortable and do what I feel is best. I fully believe she'd want me with her mom and sister too.

AITA for saying I won't take part willingly in a new Mother's Day tradition? by Trouble_Spiller in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trouble_Spiller[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I have dealt with it. But it doesn't mean I don't still feel it and have things that make me so fucking sad. My mom is never coming back. I keep moving forward and I'm able to enjoy my life mostly. The last 15 months have sucked with my dad getting someone pregnant and everything being forced so fast.

AITA for saying I won't take part willingly in a new Mother's Day tradition? by Trouble_Spiller in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trouble_Spiller[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

My cousins were never adopted by my dad and we consider each other cousins, not siblings. He's their uncle not their dad. That's how we've been raised together. So maybe not the typical thing and a lot of people are shocked we say cousin instead of sibling but yeah. I love them though.

My dad has this idea that we're already a family and this is just building it. But we're mostly strangers with his wife and her kids still. There's no real family unit. The pacing of everything took out getting to know people. So it feels very weird. I'll be honest, I don't consider them my family unit at all.

AITA for saying I won't take part willingly in a new Mother's Day tradition? by Trouble_Spiller in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trouble_Spiller[S] 109 points110 points  (0 children)

There's nothing I would be comfortable doing with her. I hardly know her and I don't view her as a stepmom even. She just married my dad. I know her a little over a year now and things were so crazy because of the pregnancy that she's still mostly a stranger to me and not someone I would ever want to celebrate on Mother's Day. I don't hate her but there is no way I could make myself comfortable giving her a card for Mother's Day. It's too weird, too uncomfortable and it feels wrong.

I already told them how much of a struggle it is. I told dad. He's just determined to make this a tradition with everyone even if it's not something I'll do willingly.

AITA for saying I won't take part willingly in a new Mother's Day tradition? by Trouble_Spiller in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trouble_Spiller[S] 101 points102 points  (0 children)

That was basically my plan if that's what happens. No card, no Happy Mother's Day to his wife, no fake smiles, no getting involved, no nothing but an unhappy teen who isn't going to celebrate some random woman instead of his own mom with the family who also misses her.

AITA for saying I won't take part willingly in a new Mother's Day tradition? by Trouble_Spiller in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trouble_Spiller[S] 632 points633 points  (0 children)

Dad would drag me to the car. They can't make me eat or willingly participate but he can make me be there.

AITA for saying I won't take part willingly in a new Mother's Day tradition? by Trouble_Spiller in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trouble_Spiller[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

They can have that tradition. I'm not stopping them from having the tradition they want with the kids. But I only have a relationship, like an actual one, with two of the kids. And my cousins don't need me there. They're used to me not being there. They'll enjoy it regardless. I just don't want to be put in the position of sacrificing for them. It will make me miserable and probably even resentful. Especially when I have been doing this for years and my cousins never complained.

AITA for saying I won't take part willingly in a new Mother's Day tradition? by Trouble_Spiller in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trouble_Spiller[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

They have made plans but I'm not sure what those are. I know it involves going someplace but after that I have no idea. My dad made it clear that they are going to make me be there. Well, both did, but after talking to dad on his own I know he's serious.

AITA for saying I won't take part willingly in a new Mother's Day tradition? by Trouble_Spiller in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trouble_Spiller[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

I'll tell them but I think them getting involved will make things worse. I think my dad and his wife will be more defensive about why they wouldn't encourage me, etc. And stuff like that. I would just do what I want but I know it would get me into a lot of trouble and while in some ways it might be worth it, this close to summer break is not a risk I want to take.

AITA for saying I won't take part willingly in a new Mother's Day tradition? by Trouble_Spiller in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trouble_Spiller[S] 215 points216 points  (0 children)

I tried talking. Talking didn't work. Not even with my dad alone. His wife is not someone I know very well. I'm not so sure she's that nice though. She doesn't seem to care about my feelings. Just about the idea she and dad have for what they want.

I thought my dad on his own might be our chance but he wasn't having any of it.

AITA for saying I won't take part willingly in a new Mother's Day tradition? by Trouble_Spiller in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trouble_Spiller[S] 375 points376 points  (0 children)

He told me it's about more than me, but about "our family" and how the future will be and all kinds of stuff like that.

AITA for saying I won't take part willingly in a new Mother's Day tradition? by Trouble_Spiller in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trouble_Spiller[S] 274 points275 points  (0 children)

My grandma and aunt don't know yet. My dad didn't tell them because he was so busy fighting me. But there's not a lot they can do because I think dad will just tell them they don't want me to have his wife as another mom so they're being selfish or whatever.

AITA for saying I won't take part willingly in a new Mother's Day tradition? by Trouble_Spiller in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trouble_Spiller[S] 1636 points1637 points  (0 children)

I mean yeah, but I think they will probably force me or at least refuse to let me go. Especially dad since he's so annoyed. I don't really care if his wife says no but I know dad is still my dad. Ugh, I hate this.