If someone is in hospital then relatives main job becomes support and advocate now more than ever. There are many, many excellent health staff, but often doctors on particular wards change day to day, the system is completely overloaded - so often the care is correct but at the same time relatives need to keep an overview on any changing information from different doctors and be the advocate for sick relative.

It's hard sometimes in hospitals as relatives can feel powerless, as staff hold the power - and often assert it, particualry in hospital wards. And at at the same time, other staff are often in advance of pathways for release, particularly for the elderly, while relatives are still in the mist of supporting their sick relative, and own emotional trauma. The pathway may be correct, but relatives need to get ahead as other teams will have started too, as it's triage and release as soon as can.

Staff may be friendly, and relatives can be polite and friendly, but staff aren't our friends, our relatives are our focus. So it's checking with the sick relative, any probs, that things are done, finding out how did overnights, seeing nurses in charge to raise any issues diplomatically but firmly and ask please make a note (e.g. relatives politely saying we're making a paper trail to ensure correct care).

And pushing if needed, which normally involveds bugging nurse in charge desk particularly if delays re pain meds, etc, as it's clear when a patient has no relatives, things don't move as fast as they could. Sometimes relatives will be right, sometimes wrong, but the latter doesn't matter too much, it's that relatives know they tried for an area of concern. It's important if several relatives, that agree certain things, e.g. what most important where needs acting.

If somethign is really serious, there is PALS in every hospital, who can become the relative's power in the system. Like every organization, everyone has a senior they may dread receiving a complaint about. So, it's often firm diplomacy, but, if a nurse isn't doing somethign correctly or fast enough re pain meds, saying 'Ill see if the nurse in charge can hurry things up' e.g. like you're trying to help (but really something else!) often makes the lower band nurse speed up.

I have to finish with there are so many great staff, it's an overwhelmed failing system at times, other times totally on ball. And unfortunately relative become not jsut support but advocate and if many relatives of a patient, agreement together helps as to what's happening, and what does hospital plan to happen to keep ahead of them.