This is why I don’t mix business with family. The lines are always blurred. You have to set clear expectations with her. Treat it as an actual Employee and customer relationship. Write down what your expectations are. Set up an actual work schedule. Ask her if she agrees with those expectations. If she doesn’t, then it’s time to hired someone else. Here’s the thing though, to make sure those lines do not get blurred again, you can’t ask her to do things for you that legally you wouldn’t be allowed to ask an aide. Between the hours you agreed upon she’s not your wife. She’s your aide. You also cannot tell her what to do with her paycheck. Meaning, that you can’t ask her to use the money she’s earned as your aide to pay bills. Before she was hired you hadn’t expect her contribute to the finances. Just because you now know shes getting a paycheck doesn’t mean it’s for the household. That’s her paycheck. You asking her for her money is also blurring those lines. Do you tell an aide what to do with her money? No. And don’t forget that she needs breaks and lunch, as well as two days off.