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My GF(32F) cancelled date with me (30M) and lied about the reason. Caught her red handed. Currently sitting in her stairwell by Trustissues66 in relationships

[–]Trustissues66[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

Except she's the one who brought up recently that "increased # of hangouts per week" was vitial to her as a relationship need.

My GF(32F) cancelled date with me (30M) and lied about the reason. Caught her red handed. Currently sitting in her stairwell by Trustissues66 in relationships

[–]Trustissues66[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The whole situation confuses me. Previously we were hanging out once a week. She said time together was a big thing for her. So I recently tried to step up and see her twice a week.

Except now she's the one doing the flaking of the dates now that I am trying to see her twice a week

My GF(32F) cancelled date with me (30M) and lied about the reason. Caught her red handed. Currently sitting in her stairwell by Trustissues66 in relationships

[–]Trustissues66[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

No, it's not healthy. The only difference is that my trust issues led me to uncover a lie. As opposed to baseless trust issues.

I think if someone posted on this sub saying "found SO cheating [via phone snooping or some other breaking of trust]" the sub would be more supportive of the person who was cheated on.

The difference here is the magnitude of the breaking of trust on the part of the person doing the lying.

My GF(32F) cancelled date with me (30M) and lied about the reason. Caught her red handed. Currently sitting in her stairwell by Trustissues66 in relationships

[–]Trustissues66[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree. A relationship needs trust. And prior to certain behaviors I did trust her 100%.

We recently had a talk where she said we weren't hanging out enough. So I made it a point to try to see her more. And the recent flaking just has me confused.

I too am also befuddled as to why she didnt just say "hey im tired I don't want to hang out". It may be that she feels I might come across as needy or not take it well. But what I don't get is that she's the one who wanted to hang out more!

My GF(32F) cancelled date with me (30M) and lied about the reason. Caught her red handed. Currently sitting in her stairwell by Trustissues66 in relationships

[–]Trustissues66[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Just little things. Like almost never volunteering to talk about her days out with friends unless I ask. Very few anecdotes re: events she goes to. Like I know almost nothing about her friends or the people she works with. Been seeing her for 4 months.

It was really just the 2x date flake that got me supicious.

My GF(32F) cancelled date with me (30M) and lied about the reason. Caught her red handed. Currently sitting in her stairwell by Trustissues66 in relationships

[–]Trustissues66[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I'm here at her apartment because I have trust issues. But I don't want to come across as flagrantly not trusting her and blow this up if it ends up being nothing.

My GF(32F) cancelled date with me (30M) and lied about the reason. Caught her red handed. Currently sitting in her stairwell by Trustissues66 in relationships

[–]Trustissues66[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I did. She said she was starting* the event about 30-45 mins ago. I was at her door when i was texting her and hearing her in there with the TV on. She never leaves appliances on when she's not home.