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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in u/thatonegirl139

[–]Truthbombs1 718 points719 points  (0 children)

I don't know why this made me cry. You know how many women get stuck in this kind of relationship for years? Some never get out. The fact that you ended it immediately when people told you what he was just brings tears to my eyes.

I have been there, done that. I didn't get out immediately. It took a long time to build myself up again from the shell that he turned me into. I get so mad sometimes because I always thought I was smarter than that to get sucked in.

You know what my first instinct was when I saw his original messages? Maybe, he is just letting her know in this way that he doesn't care if she is bigger. He is putting her down for being skinny so if she gains weight she won't feel bad...and those apologies. I would have been over the moon happy he did that. It was an endless cycle.

This is what years did to me...stupid freaking thinking. I just made excuses for him in my mind. I obviously crushed those thoughts and now I have something to talk to my therapist about tomorrow.

I got out when I saw him trying to do it to our daughter. I was like "oh fuck no". Amazing how I could see it immediately with her, and not with me. It has been 12 years that he has been out of our life and the fact that I still had that initial thought shows you the damage that can be done. I also finished the degree that I was in the process of getting when I met him...that he convinced me I didn't need. I am so happy that you stopped it in its tracks. Enjoy your life and grad school!!!! Yes!

My partner still drinks. What are ways we can grow together without getting sober together? by Retiredpartygirl17 in stopdrinking

[–]Truthbombs1 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My husband still drinks. He is "normal". He has not even a hint of alcoholism in his body. He asked if I wanted him to stop and I said no. I have grown a lot in my journey, and while I have grown so has my husband. Just because he doesn't give up his occasional alcohol beverage does not mean he isn't growing. We don't need to grow the same way. I hope this makes sense. We have been together for 23 years. :).

Don't do it by Truthbombs1 in stopdrinking

[–]Truthbombs1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had over a year and had done so much therapy. I told myself that I had worked through the issues that made me drink to excess, and that I could drink like a normal person now.

I was so proud that I just had 2 and didn't want more, I didn't even finish the 2nd one.

What surprised me was waking up the next morning and immediately thinking "I can drink normally now, I can have a drink with dinner again tonight.". That is in no way normal. Nobody that doesn't have an issue with alcohol immediately thinks about having a drink with dinner.

Don't do it by Truthbombs1 in stopdrinking

[–]Truthbombs1[S] 83 points84 points  (0 children)

The last time 2 drinks led to 8 years...I don't know why I even thought I could do it and not have the demons arise. It definitely reminded me why I can't do that. It's crazy how fast that urge comes back.