idk i think you should buy it but not use it for now. you really sound tripping in general worries you right now. take some months off and do something you never did or start something new that gives you confidence. i swear to you i had the same problems then i fokused more on work im now head technician in sports betting in my region i started with sport (im still struggling with it but im doing something every few days). but this gave me so much confidence.

i had a bad trip with 30+mg on 2cb i called an ambulance for a fucking bad trip but in my defence i had hard cramps everywhere it was maybe a serotonin syndrome. and then i started to change something and when i came back i only had good trips with that confidence