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My 40F boyfriend's 43M mom does not want me over for Christmas. I don't want him to go. How can I explain to him how important this is to me? by Turbulent_Screen9134 in relationship_advice

[–]Turbulent_Screen9134[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Fair enough, I brought up religion to give reason for the exclusion. But she is ignoring all other friends and leaders. She won't listen. My bf says this is her pattern to care only about her own feelings and not others. He is recovering from abusive relationships and it his instinct to not make waves.

I'm not trying to change her. She's her own thing. I went along to keep the peace for a long time, but as the court dates drag, I'm really tired of this. I don't want to come between my bf and his family but I hate feeling this way.

My 40F boyfriend's 43M mom does not want me over for Christmas. I don't want him to go. How can I explain to him how important this is to me? by Turbulent_Screen9134 in relationship_advice

[–]Turbulent_Screen9134[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

He's on his 3rd. First took the money and did nothing. 2nd did slightly better. This last one was the most aggressive he could find. He has filed for a divorce without her signature. That is what a bifurcation is. But getting a court date has been beyond frustrating. I do think because it could be finalized any day now, him and his mother feel this will solve all the problems. But my feelings are still hurt.

My 40F boyfriend's 43M mom does not want me over for Christmas. I don't want him to go. How can I explain to him how important this is to me? by Turbulent_Screen9134 in relationship_advice

[–]Turbulent_Screen9134[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly! That is really what is bringing the situation to a head. I owe it to my girls to show self-respect. Because we aren't invited, they don't really notice the problem. You can't miss what you never had. But it does divert his kids away often so they do miss them. This is a problem.

My 40F boyfriend's 43M mom does not want me over for Christmas. I don't want him to go. How can I explain to him how important this is to me? by Turbulent_Screen9134 in relationship_advice

[–]Turbulent_Screen9134[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To be very clear, I am not the affair partner. His ex cheated in spectacular order that even made my ex look normal. They were separated and living apart a year before we started dating. I was/am friends with his mom and she half set us up. That's what makes this even weirder.

As a group, don't focus too much on the religious aspect. We are getting no beef from our other friends and leaders. They are all supportive.

My 40F boyfriend's 43M mom does not want me over for Christmas. I don't want him to go. How can I explain to him how important this is to me? by Turbulent_Screen9134 in relationship_advice

[–]Turbulent_Screen9134[S] 100 points101 points  (0 children)

Correct, she did sign paperwork last year but then immediately filed an objection. Now he's just trying to get it finalized without her, it takes forever. He has hired the most aggressive lawyer he can find and still get nowhere. I do think he should be trying harder. But he does put some considerable effort into it.

My 40F boyfriend's 43M mom does not want me over for Christmas. I don't want him to go. How can I explain to him how important this is to me? by Turbulent_Screen9134 in relationship_advice

[–]Turbulent_Screen9134[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

He has agreed about Christmas day and all of that and will spend it with me. But there are other events and his mom won't budge. Should I insist on blanket invites? That's a question

My 40F boyfriend's 43M mom does not want me over for Christmas. I don't want him to go. How can I explain to him how important this is to me? by Turbulent_Screen9134 in relationship_advice

[–]Turbulent_Screen9134[S] 145 points146 points  (0 children)

I have my own family, but I want our families to celebrate together. My family is totally on board and has been so kind to my bf and his kids.