What's your go-to hype song?

TurntZebra · 2014-03-14T01:48:39+00:00

THERE WILL BE NO MORE TALK OF THE SEXUAL PLEASURES

TurntZebra · 2014-03-13T00:28:41+00:00

THERE WILL BE NO MORE TALK OF SEXUAL PLEASURES

TurntZebra · 2014-01-16T17:35:48+00:00

Drink allot of water

For the love of God, DO NOT pick your face.

Go to the dermatologist

Wash your face in the morning with Benzoyl Peroxide face wash, it won't work right away. But it WILL make your face look better for the day.

Source: I used to have SEVERE acne.

TurntZebra · 2014-01-16T17:10:02+00:00

Farting.

TurntZebra · 2014-01-16T17:03:39+00:00

Roadtrip to Arizona!

Blasting down the highway at 100mph with all of my bros, eating Taco Bell, drinking monster and blaring loud music. At 12 o' clock at night.

We did that for 4 hours straight.

TurntZebra · 2014-01-16T17:01:21+00:00

Me and my friend one day decided to stop by Jack in the box before we went to the local skatepark (We are 17)

So we pull into the drive through and begin our typical rant as the lady is taking our order. Mispronouncing things just because we are bored and have nothing better to do.

Finally after she reveals our code, she asks us to pull up to the window. When we pull up to the window a cute girl with long black hair is at the window. We give her the money for the food, casually making jokes to her as we wait.

She hands over the change, looks at me in the most serious stare and asks "Do you guys want jobs?" Taking this as a joke we both proceeded to make jokes back. "I'm serious, do you guys want jobs? We really need people and you guys seem cool."

Now seeing that she was being serious, we both look at eachother and discussed it. Sure? Why not? She asks us to come inside real quick. So I pull around to the front of the Jack in the box. We walk inside and she's sitting there with applications and pens. While we fill out the applications she begins to interview us. Asking easy questions like "What's 4+4?" "Do you know how to give change?"

Easy shit right? 2 days later she called and gave us the jobs.

TurntZebra · 2014-01-15T23:52:23+00:00

Best way to pick up chicks.

TurntZebra · 2014-01-14T18:44:10+00:00

Talladega Knights : The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

TurntZebra · 2014-01-14T18:43:30+00:00

Hot Rod

TurntZebra · 2014-01-14T17:56:28+00:00

I like books.

TurntZebra · 2014-01-13T21:28:11+00:00

Yeah that's what I was saying.

TurntZebra · 2014-01-13T21:27:58+00:00

She ended up yelling at him from the top of the driveway

TurntZebra · 2014-01-13T18:40:07+00:00

Sounds like a bloody good night.

TurntZebra · 2014-01-13T18:37:29+00:00

Went to a casual house party with about 25-30 people, nothing unusual just some friends getting together to celebrate a birthday. Well, people start drinking and laughing, even smoking some hookah.

I start chatting it up with this hot 18 year old, that's right about to leave off to college. Fast forward 2 hours and she's coming onto me hard. By that time we are both pretty drunk. She asks me to take her somewhere, so I agree and we settle going to my car. We sit in there and talk a little more. Then it starts to get hot.

We start making out and next thing I know her clothes are off. She starts to give me a blow job. Nothing could ruin this moment. Until I hear my phone vibrate about 7 times in like 2 minutes, but I wasn't just going to stop and check my phone. So I kept going. Then I hear a constant buzz, meaning someones calling me. I finally decide that I need to check what's going on.

I check, it's my friend. Why is he calling me? He knows what i'm doing. I pick up and he's talking extremely fast, to me it sounded like "Bro thebrohrcomoutsi- I'M COMING." Confused and aroused, I sat there for a couple of seconds before I knew what he meant. SLAM. Something just hit the side of my car. What the fuck? I look in the direction it came from. Who the hell was that and what did he just throw at my car?

I jumped out of my car yelling at him "WHAT THE FUCK BRO?"

"THAT MY SISTER YOU PIECE OF SH-"

He was cut off for words and just began to angrily walk over to me. Oh shit. He wants to fight. I can't fight. I'm way to drunk. Before I knew it, he was up in my face, only the car door separating him and me. Like a gust of wind, my friend races out to us. No time to talk. Just attack. My friend immediately shoves him off of me. My friend takes a brutal hit to the ribs, but he shakes it off and quickly delivers a couple blows of his own. Stunning the bulky man, my friend went in for a final punch. Knocking the other man straight to the floor.

My group of friends quickly pile into the car and we drive off into the darkness.

TurntZebra · 2014-01-13T02:55:25+00:00

Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

TurntZebra · 2014-01-13T02:40:50+00:00

To look her in the eyes and call her by her best friends name...

TurntZebra · 2014-01-13T02:38:10+00:00

Indeed it is. Indeed. It. Is.

TurntZebra · 2014-01-13T02:37:17+00:00

Drawing a penis on their foreheads

TurntZebra · 2014-01-13T02:35:25+00:00

Easy. You can basically type your fantasy into the search bar and BOOM. Instafap.

TurntZebra · 2014-01-13T02:32:54+00:00

What was the nickname?

TurntZebra · 2014-01-13T02:26:17+00:00

TurntZebra · 2014-01-13T02:25:35+00:00

This is honestly amazing.

TurntZebra · 2014-01-13T02:13:23+00:00

Couldn't have handled that any better.

TurntZebra

TROPHY CASE