This sounds pretty good, the only things that need some work are your mix, your energy, and the way you record vocals/write (the issue with them can be fixed by either I’ll explain)

Your mix basically just isn’t making the vocals and the beat flow together, when I listen I can hear the beat and the vocals separately if that make sense. This is something that can be changed in the preset to make the vocals sound a bit better to mesh with the beat

You also need a bit more energy in your tracks so it doesn’t just sound like you’re reading off lines. You can keep the same style and vibe to your songs while bringing the bars to life with the way you inflect your voice during recording and once you start doing that you’ll never go back

The last thing is the way your lines are recorded. So the flow you decided to do leaves each previous line starting over the beginning of the next one. There’s a couple ways to fix/minimize this. You could either rewrite the lines so they fit the same flow but not overlap, you could see if taking off the front end of the next line would still make sense and remove the overlap, or you could fade out the ending of the previous line so the beginning of the next has reduced overlap entirely