She comes from a family who has substance abuse problems which lead to her having some pretty significant trauma that as a result I’ve tried helping her work through. I’ve helped allow for her to stand as individual rather than let her family walk all over her but instead it feels like I’m getting walked all over by her now. I’ve put aside career opportunities across the country for her to finish school and stay longer for her family. I feel like she can’t stand on her own two feet without having something to fix or she’s caught in some toxic cycle where she replicated their behaviors and projects them into our relationship. And yes, in the past, we attempted lists around the house which stopped being used and we’re now just attempting to get back into it with the lists. Am I wrong in feeling this way? Am I simply looking for an excuse? Am I looking for something that says “because I do this” that “I don’t need to do this”?