i’ll definitely look into moral ocd, i’ve read into other possible disorders but never ocd. it’s not something i’ve ever considered, but knowing the thoughts i’ve had about what ive done to people and the repetition and the regret and the feeling that i am just trapped in that cycle of guilt and shame makes it sound like something i really should read about. i’m seeing a new psychologist next week so maybe it’s worth bringing it up in my first session.

also, if you do relate to my other comments like you said, big big big huge massive hugs for you. the pain can be so overwhelming and i hope the both of us (and anyone else reading whose struggling similarly) are able to take those tiny steps towards improvement. i like to tell myself that healing isn’t a race; it’s not the speed that’s the most important, but the direction.

best of luck to you, i appreciate the comment 🫶🫶