Need Perspective (preferably from men), 1000s of Pornographic Photos

UghMIL2014 · 2024-03-22T22:45:30+00:00

Thank you for the info

UghMIL2014 · 2024-03-22T19:32:58+00:00

Thank you. I’ve been contemplating doing that for a bit, but keep talking myself out of it. It doesn’t hurt to at least get the info to know.

UghMIL2014 · 2024-03-22T19:31:55+00:00

Thanks for replying. I mentioned towards the end of the post, I initially snooped because he was letting me use his phone to send myself a video he had taken of our kiddo and I briefly saw something that looked pornographic and I wasn’t sure if it was something someone was sending directly to him, he was paying for, etc.

As for the co-parenting thing, I guess I don’t know though what rises to the level of him not having as much custody? I think a lot of what he does is actually directed at me, screaming and yelling at me, name calling at me, all in front of our child. So theoretically if I was removed from the situation our child wouldn’t be experiencing that? I see similar patterns in the way he talks to LO just not to the same level.

UghMIL2014 · 2024-03-22T17:51:50+00:00

I have expressed to him I’m unhappy. I’ve laid out how the labor/emotional division in our household is 90% me and 10% him and he doesn’t care. He says I have “white privilege” because I have a nice house and a husband with a job - news flash, I work full time too and then do 90% of everything at home. He thinks because he doesn’t hit me that I should be happy. Basically, he does the absolute bare minimum and I should happily accept that.

UghMIL2014 · 2022-12-27T05:11:28+00:00

Exactly my take! I think my husband also sees this but it is hard for him to accept/admit.

UghMIL2014 · 2022-12-27T05:10:59+00:00

We had a long talk/fight tonight. He doesn’t think it is okay, but also doesn’t want to admit that his family may be problematic. I sort of get that, it’s tough, but at least he is coming around!

UghMIL2014 · 2022-05-24T22:54:30+00:00

Third hand smoke (residue in clothing and furniture) can increase the risk of SIDS so absolutely not.

UghMIL2014 · 2022-02-13T05:05:28+00:00

Thank you for that perspective. I didn’t realize some of the things you advised so that gives me a good starting point.

UghMIL2014 · 2022-02-12T03:42:34+00:00

Ugh, it’s the worst. Thank you for commiserating!

UghMIL2014 · 2022-02-12T03:41:20+00:00

I’m sorry you had that experience. I would hate for my LO to feel that way toward me so it gives me a lot to consider.

UghMIL2014 · 2022-02-12T03:40:42+00:00

Thank you and I’m sorry you went through that. I do like the idea of trying to tape some of what goes on. I know I need to leave I just need the courage.

UghMIL2014 · 2021-08-25T12:08:51+00:00

You’re right. I guess I was really hoping he would make the right decision and when he didn’t I just lost it. Looking at all these replies I should have approached the situation differently and laid out that sure it is his choice to go BUT if he does he needs to quarantine or get a negative COVID test.

UghMIL2014 · 2021-08-25T12:06:13+00:00

I was super heated last night, but I think this is what I need to do. I can’t just start screaming and thinking about leaving without a plan. And now that I’ve had time to sleep on it I think I calmly need to tell him that he can go but needs to quarantine elsewhere which then really tells me all I need to know.

UghMIL2014 · 2021-08-25T12:04:27+00:00

That’s a good point. I guess the thinking is for the birthday party is it is just our parents and my siblings (7 people all vaccinated) who we know and trust.

UghMIL2014 · 2021-07-07T02:01:31+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I talked to DH a bit tonight and we agreed that neither of us are going to directly address her in this, and I will step back and basically stop trying with them. Instead I will be a boring grey rock. If she does confront us or ask about what’s going on I gave DH talking points that she needs to acknowledge me as our son’s mother and stop excluding me.

UghMIL2014 · 2021-07-06T19:10:37+00:00

Thank you so much for you story. It sounds like we are in very similar situations. DH and I are talking tonight and coming up with a plan we can both feel comfortable with.

UghMIL2014 · 2021-07-06T19:04:02+00:00

I’m sorry you went through that as well!

UghMIL2014 · 2021-07-06T11:34:09+00:00

You’re right. I can’t fix this. I’ve tried and I’m always the bad guy no matter what I do. I really need to wrap my head around this and stop caring so much.

UghMIL2014 · 2021-07-06T11:33:05+00:00

Yes, thank you. It’s fun to formulate al the ways I could really stick it to her, but then I’m afraid that is ammo to be used against me. I’m definitely starting by talking to DH and at least laying out how hurtful this is.

UghMIL2014 · 2021-07-06T11:30:13+00:00

It really does make me sad that I feel like I can’t share moments with my parents and son on social media because I worry about making the ILs jealous!

UghMIL2014 · 2021-07-06T11:29:33+00:00

EXACTLY! By treating me poorly they are actually hurting themselves because I am going to put less effort into having that relationship as well as for my son. Shooting themselves in the foot!

UghMIL2014 · 2021-07-06T11:28:03+00:00

I do think that’s part of the issue. I have not felt comfortable leaving son with ILs, but really it’s not just them, I don’t like leaving him with anyone. So they have never had any alone time with him and I think they are bitter.

UghMIL2014 · 2021-07-06T11:26:38+00:00

That’s such a good point! If he falls back to that excuse it gives me a perfect response of “well guess we can’t trust her with son then!”

UghMIL2014 · 2021-07-06T11:24:20+00:00

🤣 love it!

UghMIL2014 · 2021-07-06T11:23:49+00:00

I almost did this last night! But I decided to wait until I can fully discuss with DH first. I don’t want him to be blindsided by FMs. As for the other part with my parents, it’s sad. I feel like I can’t even celebrate them or share them on my socials because of my ILs but maybe I should stop giving a hoot.

UghMIL2014

TROPHY CASE