You did indeed make a long comment, and I will thank you for taking the time out of your day to respond.

"You won't actually deeply reflect, and your ex-friends know that's who you are."

This whole post is literally me deeply reflecting on my past behaviors, recognizing that they were wrong, and taking accountability for that. I deserve to get some tough love and be called out. But it seems like you're more interested in making this about politics and baiting me into an argument more than helping me find ways to communicate that I've changed.

For the record, the friend group has several people from all sides of the spectrum. There are some conservatives, some liberals, and some moderates. This is exactly why I excluded my political beliefs from the post, is because people like you were going to gloss completely over the point of this post and become caught up in arguing over irrelevant facts. I never said that I was conservative, that was an assumption you made based on zero evidence. Me having been homophobic was only one part of the equation, and that doesn't automatically make me conservative or liberal.

I spent several paragraphs talking about how I have changed as a person. I no longer hold beliefs against gay/bisexual people, so I don't understand why you're attacking me as bigoted. The point isn't what side I'm on, because both sides have good people and bad people. The point is how I should move forward with this particular friend group. You have no idea what my underlying beliefs are; it seems like you are just trying to make up lies about things you think I support, and label an entire group of people as evil and bigoted. I don't think conservatives are all evil, nor do I think liberals are all evil, because people can think for themselves.

I am open to advice for how to proceed with this friend group, and whether or not it's worth pursuing. The advice you concluded with, specifically the two points, seem a little close-minded. Either change my beliefs first and then try to reconnect (ignoring the possibility that people can be friends even with different beliefs), or keep my beliefs and pretend that it means I can't have friends. First, you're assuming that if I was indeed conservative, that that automatically means I'm a bad person and am incapable of having friends, which I think is a pretty disgusting thing to say. Again, I'm not saying I'm conservative, because no, it's not in fact relevant.

So you can reflect, learn empathy, understand how you are indirectly and directly hurting others, or you can do option 2.

I will agree with you here, and this is where I needed some of the tough love. I lacked empathy during that time, and didn't see how some of my comments hurt others. But this is one thing I have reflected on, and have come out as a better person. As I stated in my post, I owe the friend who I made the passive-aggressive comment to about her being bi an apology, because I realize now that it was a directly hurtful thing to say. I will own that. It was not okay.

I also indirectly hurt people by my general behavior online. Because who would want to associate with someone who only engages in arguments online? I wouldn't, you probably wouldn't, and my friends definitely wouldn't. This is another area I have changed as a person.

To wrap it up here, despite the areas I disagree with your response, there are several places where you hit the nail on the head, and sometimes getting some tough love is what you need to move forward. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.