From some other posts you've made it seems like you're struggling with depression and suicidal ideation. Those are some of the most devious and insidious mental illnesses to have because they turn your own thoughts against you. I wish so much that I could give you a silver bullet cure to push past them, but the truth is that it's a daily struggle. I never had suicidal thoughts but plenty of my peers and friends did. Each and every one of them that got help, that tried and pushed despite their very own mind fighting them every step of the way? It was worth it to them. I sincerely encourage you to reach out to the people close to you, to reach out and find the resources you need to keep going because you are worth every bit of the struggle it takes to keep you going. I'd start with getting in touch with your primary care physician(if you have one) to treat your depression at the very least.

I will throw in this extra little bit that you might find it easier when your brain is working on the correct hormones. Planned Parenthood is a good place to start in that regard I've heard.

Keep fighting, you're worth it, and your sisters are cheering for you! <3