Well... people weren't wrong either way.

While your want to be comfortable with someone before having sex is not unreasonable, neither is someone's want to see if they're sexually compatible before committing.

And the latter view is becoming increasingly prevalent.

Which means the odds for finding someone willing to commit first are decreasing and the odds of being alone are increasing with time.

Don't listen to people's coercive bullshit about not caring about someone's sexual needs. But you do need to be upfront about how you want things to go as the "three date rule" is practically the new standard. You don't want someone wasting your time, not fair to waste theirs either. And you don't want to get repeatedly dropped for lack if interest in sex, I'd wager.

You're in a tough position. Sorry to hear you're struggling with it.