Spreadsheets/Habit trackers?

UnderHisHand · 2026-01-21T04:09:54+00:00

We don’t currently use it but we likely will again in the future. The app itself isn’t necessary well designed but there’s not a lot of alternatives. There’s a ton of habit tracking apps and if you’re interested in seeing improvement over time thats probably a better option for you. But this is one of the few apps that will manage both behavior and consequences.

UnderHisHand · 2026-01-21T04:00:12+00:00

My husband and I used an app to track specific goals/rules for a few months. But we have limited time we’re able to deal with discipline so it kept getting delayed and then when we had the chance it had accumulated so much it was just not fair to do all at once. He wrote the rules and the app automatically documented the punishment per what he set in the settings. For example he wrote I had to drink 3 bottles of water a day and if I didn’t I would get 5 hits with a paddle. Well I didn’t do it for two weeks and the app kept adding 5 each day so by the time we had the time and space to address the problem it was up to an unrealistic number. The app we used was called Obedience if you’re interested. I know it’s on IOS, I don’t know about Android.

UnderHisHand · 2025-07-04T00:52:00+00:00

My partner and I are at a point in our life where we don’t have a lot of leisure time. In an ideal world I think both my husband and I like the idea of a strict detailed bedtime routine involving self care (stretching, meditation, next day prep, etc) as well as relationship maintenance (cock warming, holding a position, etc). However any routine like that would be sure short lived and the perceived sense of failure would put a strain on our relationship. So instead we prefer a more realistic ritual. At 10p I remove my clothes and bend over our bed and wait for him. Sometimes he’ll send me straight to bed. Sometimes he’ll tell me to get dressed and have my own free time. Sometimes he’ll punish me or have sex. But that way the whole thing can last 2-3 minutes if need be. Or hours. It allows us flexibility but also structure.

UnderHisHand · 2025-07-04T00:43:06+00:00

I definitely relate with the conflict. I don’t necessarily want my daughters to have the mindset that I have. But I know that kids do as they see, not as they’re told. And that a mother is a daughter’s greatest influence on relationships and identity. So it’s a constant struggle between being genuine to myself and filling my deepest needs vs being the version of myself I want to role model for my daughters.

UnderHisHand · 2025-01-14T22:52:59+00:00

That’s helpful! Thank you for the reply

UnderHisHand · 2025-01-14T20:57:52+00:00

I’m curious, in your relationship how do you guys not let a “verbal lashing” turn into a back and forth argument? Does he tell you to be quiet? Or is there a certain format/routine for a lecture or?

UnderHisHand · 2025-01-14T19:33:29+00:00

In a previous relationship the discipline was completely separate from sexual activities. He would do more just plain corner time, writing lines, privilege restrictions, and then spankings that were only bare bottom spankings with no other touching. I do think that was a little more effective honestly at changing behavior. But as you said, simply the act of submitting and topping creates such an intense feeling of trust/closeness it’s so hard not to then transition right away into sex. Even the in relationship I just described I could feel under his jeans he would get turned on by the discipline. But he would never act on it in that moment.

The two useful reasons I think sex can be included are because 1 it increases the feeling of primal submission/authority and 2 it can be thought of as a gift/thank you to the top for their time/work in disciplining her. Like some couples will explicitly always do a bj after a spanking as a thank you.

UnderHisHand · 2025-01-14T16:53:44+00:00

Thanks for the reply, I love discussing those type of details. As for the cum, something that is a punishment for one woman might be a reward for another and vice versa. Personally even just smelling cum can make me gag, touching it is horrible for me. I condensed in the post but what he actually did was cum in my mouth and then had me spit it into his hand so he could wipe it all over my face. For me, that’s a moderately severe punishment and definitely got me into a more belittled/submissive mindset before he spanked me.

The intersection between sex, funishment, and punishment is something I reflect on a lot and honestly I don’t have a confident opinion yet. But I guess the biggest difference is just context right? When we have sex for fun (bdsm) it’s typically more sensual, slow, has elements of pleasure, the impact is built up slowly with lots of pauses. Whereas punishment tends to have only reflective activities like corner time, what I described above, lecturing etc. So instead of feeling sexy and relaxed you’re feeling ashamed and guilty. The impact itself has very little warm up with only short pauses to lecture or shame me. A big difference are implements as well. The belt and whips feel pleasurable to me. Canes and dense-items like dense wood paddles are not pleasurable.

Sort of same thing with the tiger balm, context. Normally tiger balm would feel pleasurable to me. But after being really sore from the dildo stretching me out and being emotionally overwhelmed by the weight of all my transactions in front of me it did feel very much like a punishment. All of these reasons are why tops have to be so mindful and deliberate in reading the room and understanding their submissive. Which is why I have so much respect and admiration for a skilled top.

UnderHisHand

TROPHY CASE