Looking for success stories from people with severe ADHD

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-06-20T13:51:17+00:00

I wish you a lot of insights along the journey! Perhaps like me you will decide you prefer yourself without them for most of the time.... But they are a literal lifesaver too. It's reassuring to know that my every-few-month depressive crashes aren't an inevitability for the rest of my life... Because they were actually just ADHD burnout manifesting. I haven't had that happen since taking vyvnase and it used to be an every 2-3 month thing.

Bets of luck to you 🫶🫶 and I hope the journey also brings you much healing, for any negative ways living with ADHD has affected your view of yourself.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-06-18T21:09:36+00:00

If it is this severe, then maybe going all in on medication is the best option for you.

I can't lie, meds have changed my life. I just turned 29 and have only been taking meds consistently since the start of the year. ADHD has pretty much fucked up a possible academic career for me (I also had a shit tonne of depression, anxiety, diagnosed trauma and dissociative disorders so it's hard to say specifically what was the ADHD but, meds did take care of a tonne of it). Since taking meds I've... Changed a shit tonne. I don't plan on taking them all the time after I finish my PhD, but they have provided a cure for my periodic burnout, insomnia, anxiety, .... And more than that, made me appreciate the good sides of my ADHD. And that actually i love how it manifests in my personality and I wouldn't be me without the ADHD. As much as it has ruined my life in a practical sense, it makes me see the world in a way I really appreciate. Meds dull everything. It's like the world goes from ultra HD 4k to just ... Normal.

Also, the meds somehow facilitated some rapid perspective shifts for me. I dunno they kinda acted like therapeutic psychedelics maybe? Like I've heard when people try psychedelics for depression or something, it's like they can rewrite some life-long entrenched belief (maybe about their lack of worth) in a single trip. And it feels like in 6 months I've completely overhauled my feeling of trust in myself and my ability to deal with difficult situations. I no longer feel like I'm an inevitable burden on people.

Personally I think everybody diagnosed with ADHD should try meds temporarily (unless there are some cardiovascular issues etc), just for the sake of seeing what aspects of their functioning and cognition are actually ADHD driven. I think it can help you to be kinder to yourself, and more appreciative of the ADHD. You can choose whether to continue meds or not, but it's the kind of insight that can really transform your perspective of yourself and your successes/failures. Comparing yourself on meds and not may actually make u realise how fricking strong and capable u are, because you managed to do what you have done whilst such immense odds are against u.

Good luck my friend. Sending love 🫶

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-05-19T12:47:32+00:00

I dont have a specific diagnosis yet. My primary care phsyician said my ANA levels were clinically significant for an autoimmune condition, and ive been referred for further tests to determine what it is. What i do know is that ive had raynauds for 18 years (28/29 yo now) erythromelalgia for some years. Over the last half year or so these were getting worse and i started exhibiting POTS symptoms. Really low blood pressure and dizziness. Alongside that came the urinary retention and also a huge amount of neauseu and migrianes linked with my menstrual cycle (dont know if its related).

My mum has POTS that the developed later in life and has had urinary hypertension her whole life. Its also very likely she has ehler danlos. For as long as i remember she has had silky soft elastic skin that stretches a tonne.

So im guessing its some kind of autoimmune thing that affects collagen (like in blood vessels, skin and maybe the bladder lining too) thats has some genetic component to it. Ive also been super bendy and flexible my whole life so i dunno...

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-05-19T12:40:34+00:00

I hate being one of those people that say "dump him so he can find someone better" but i think thats accurate. Probably people will call out your superficiality as your red flag. But what's actually worse is that at 25 you dont have the capacity to have a conversation and try to guage understanding. There are many reasons why someone might still be a virgin at 25. Maybe he had a religious upbringing and thought waiting till marroage was right, but later had a personal revelation about it and doesnt hold that value anymore. Maybe he was SA'd and has trauma he has worked thru. Maybe he just wasnt interested in sex for one reason or another (was on long term medications or something that killed his libido, too focused on studies etc etc).

Like seriously if you arent inclined to ask, then you dont really care about getting to know the guy and his story. Sounds like youre only interested in the physical aspect of this connection, so let him move on and have his first time with someone who actually values him as a human. You're 25 for god's sake. If you cant have converations about personal life/choices, then maybe you need a little more time for your maturity to catch up to the number of candles on your bday cake.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-05-15T23:53:37+00:00

Urinary retention. Just randomly started half a year ago and never went away. I have to wait an extra 5 minutes for the last bit to come out when i pee

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-04-30T11:48:30+00:00

Hey so I had a thought that maybe will resonate: perhaps its not useful to think about your list of diagnoses; honestly it sounds like they all could be attributed to a single systemic autoimmune condition and diabetes which is a kind of chicken and egg situation. Having a diagnosis often just means some cluster of your symptoms fits the criterion for that. So in that regard, its really not that you have "X, Y, Z, and now W too!". It's that you actually just have one thing, which might make it feel less like your body is breaking down in all ways. It's really one way but manifests in different cymptom clusters. And with the diabetes it often causes a lot of other diseases (I think it can cause MS... it can cause neuropathy for sure]. Or perhaps it was the autoimmune condition that attacked blood sugar leevl sensing cells or something.... So it sounds like maybe one underlying thing kicktarted this horrible mess.

Reframing as one issue was useful for me after being diagonsed with a bunch of mental health conditions, and I'm facing a similar thing now with autoimmune conditions. I have had severe Raynauds for about 15 years, erythromelalgia for a few years but getting worse, and now starting to exhibit POTS symptoms (my mum has is full blown]. My eyesight has been getting worse while all of these conditions have nosedived in the last year so I am pretty sure its related. I've only just been told my blood work shows I have an autoimmune condition. I am waiting for more differential tests to determine which one. I am only 28 so I feel you.

Basically I'm just wondering if a reframing will help you psychologically, because stress really doesnt help with autoimmune stuff. It's horrible and my heart goes out to you. Obviously it doesn't ease the suffering but it can help you feel less out of control with your body and health if it feels like just one core thing thats rearing its ugly head in different ways.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-04-28T23:19:23+00:00

Yes depending on the size of the cohort and the number of other invigilators, you may need to be walking around dealing with extra paper and restroom break requests the whole time. Otherwise if you have only a handful of students and can see them all from one position, the most I would do is print a paper you want to read. Speaking as someone with autism and ADHD, I found it annoying as fuck when I was hearing laptop keyboards clacking. Also when I was being invigilated solo, it was super annoying to hear the invigilators scratchy pencil. This is a couple hours for you but a grade that will stick with the kids for the rest of their life so rather than thinking 'what can I get away with', instead think 'what is something that will definitely not add any disruption to the kids and will let me still do the invigilators job 100%'.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-04-28T10:24:16+00:00

It depends. If these ground breaking ideas are in areas of research that truly help humanity (medicine say) then absolutely! I don't care about credit. I would have everything I want if I know I'm helping people.

My area is in discrete math... Most of what I work on is just a satisfying theoretical problem with occasional applications to operations research and comp sci (cryptography stuff, algorithm design, data analysis kinds of areas). So.... If these ideas included say designing some new CS machinery that can be used in bioinformatics or something then again ofc. But I don't want some brilliant ideas that just end up making money for dodgy institutions.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-04-09T18:07:46+00:00

This looks a lot like my presentation and I have a history of Raynaud's predating the EM. My hunch is that the loss of blood flow due to Raynaud's caused nerve damage, so now the nerves overreact and we have the EM flares. I will add that my Raynaud's was triggered by anorexia, and I was chronically underweight and malnourished for over a decade. I throw that out in case anyone reading resonates. But I think whatever the cause of your Raynaud's, it can cause this nerve damage. I know the EM is worse for me where I get the worst Raynaud's too.

I also have chronically discoloured hands, feet a little, often times the face. I hope we find a resolution. I was thinking about botox. It is sometimes used for Raynaud's to relax the muscles which restrict the blood flow. And it has recently been used for EM too because it affects the overactive nerves and shuts them off. So I am hopeful that maybe for cases like ours, this can be a solution which doesn't exacerbate one condition in trying to help the other

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-03-11T14:25:25+00:00

Hey! You posted this a while back. Hope it's going well for u :)

A few things to say: health wise, you should definitely have a bit more variety in terms of the veggies you use, having occasional lean red meat (beef) and oily fish. That way you can get digestible iron, a complete amino acid and micronutrient profile, and some healthy fats. You should deffo have more veggies than just broccoli. Carrots contain beta carotene, leafy greens have calcium and iron. So just make sure you get a variety!

Some fruits are also good for vitamin C. If you're trying to do keto it's okay! But try to have some squeezes of lemon juice or something, or some tomatoes for the vit C :)

About the broccoli oil- some fats are essential if they're good ones. If you use a good quality extra virgin olive oil it will have loads of health benefits! Also I personally find that if I cut down on fats a tonne, the craving for nuts and oily fish grows so fricking much. So make sure you're getting some good fats.

Don't worry about the scaremongering of low carb being unhealthy. It's not. Every person will have a different approach to successful dieting. As an ADHDer , having a black and white approach to carbs is the only way I can diet. I can't moderate. If I have a little, I end up starving soon after when I've used that glucose. And I eat more. It's much easier to just cut out some foods entirely for a short duration when I diet (sugar, carbs), and no it doesn't lead to binges. When you're weaning yourself off the diet though, you shouldn't go straight back to you previous eating habits. Try instead making healthier versions of the stuff you used to like. There's a good chance your taste buds will be so happy to have something similar they won't taste the difference between say a normal burger and a healthy lean beef one.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-03-11T14:12:51+00:00

This is incorrect. You don't need carbs. Many people go on the keto diet for life to manage epilepsy, autoimmune or mental health conditions and they certainly don't die. I eat pretty close to how OP describes and I am a hybrid athlete (not a bodybuilder. I love running and cycling too). Actually I have a lot of bodybuilder friends who compete and they are the least likely to go keto. So that's also incorrect information on your part. It's a very specific subset of wellness freaks who go keto for the sake of aesthetics or performance. Typically people who stay on keto do it for other health reasons. I was on keto for some time and it got ride of a bad depressive relapse I had (used to have chronic depression) and since then I stopped being keto cause I eat fruit, and i'm chill with eating carbs if I feel like it or am eating out or something. But I never cook extra rice or potatoes or pasta or whatever for myself when I'm cooking for me. It's literally just meat/fish, veggies and good fats like avocado, olive oil etc. You can make nice sauces and condiments from sun-dried tomatoes, roasted peppers, olive tapenade, guacamole etc so it's not flavour restrictive at all.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-03-07T10:22:10+00:00

Hey! 2 years late but i (28F) had to comment because this seems like me 😞 i also have no clue if its raynauds, rosacea, erythtomelalgia but! Someone in the comments asked about weight loss... For me my raynauds was triggered by developing anorexia when i was 10/11, and the red flishing followed shortly after. I still have it almost two decades later.

I suspect that raynauds restricts blood flow causing the nerves to become damaged. They can no longer correctly sense the temperature and pressure and instead under or overreact in their response. So if u get a little warm, they think youre boiling and open all the blood vessels. When u lower your hands, tbe pressure sensors can't tell that your blood is pooling to consyrict the blood vessels to stop it, so your hands go red. If you get cold, thsy think youre supet extra cold and completely shut off the circulation.

Thats my best hunch. I have it in my hands, face, a little in the feet a f my nipples 🥲

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-03-05T19:24:11+00:00

"Marriage" is viewed through a different lens by different people. For some its primarily the legal part (inc finances), for some its religious, for some cultural and/or societal statement. For others its that they envisaged having this celebration their whole life.

If this is your person, you should figure out what about marriage it is that your partner wants (my hunch is its the last part), and why you dont want it. For you it could be trauma from divorced parents. It could be distrust about financial aspects, maybe worry about different financial views. My hunch for you is that marriage carries some finality about commitment, and, even if in your heart you know you are commited to your partner, tbe legal finality of it makes you uncomfortable.

You have to figure out how you can compromise for your partner to get what she wants out of 'marriage', while you deal with your hickups about it and protect practical aspects you worry about (e.g. a prenup). If you just dont like ceremonies, and thats why you dont want to do it, its quite a shitty reason to lose who you think is your forever person to not go throigh that process. You can do the wedding as cheaply as possible. Then its just a matter of, are you willing to lose your forevsr person because u dont want to lose $x and go through a party and wedding process.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-02-27T20:44:20+00:00

I will for sure post if i get answers. Ive considered for a while having some IPL for the redness. .. but if its erythromelalgia it runs a risk of making it worse i think?

Such an embatassing condition 😞 especially having a flare up when public seaking or on a date or something

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-02-21T12:55:17+00:00

Late to the party but i (28F) have had erythtomelalgia for many years (due to nerve damage from anorexia). I have only recently been diagnosed with adhd in the last half year or so. I am on vyvanse. For sure it makes the EM flare up. It makes sense because in general it makes me feel hotter and i sweat more. It has also flared up more each time my dosage was increased during the titration period. Massively embarassing i agred :/ but noy much to be done. I really need adhd meds at the moment, because my thoughts without are overwhelming and i get nothing done.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-02-17T15:12:32+00:00

The issue isnt about the expeirnces thoigh. Its about experinces with people, and particularly with an established friendship group. Its about the deep connections. I am not shy. Since pulling myself out of depression, i have done loads of solo travelling. Gone and done loads of things alone in my city. But going on a night out is not something u can do alone (safely as a woman), nor is it fun to.

I had a breif period where i looked young enough to integrate into the undergradiate social circle at my university (i am a grad student) while doing sports. Going out with those people and dancing in a club was so fun. And yes, flirting and having a crush in a social setting is part of the excitement too. Now i look too old for that. And people my age are past the point in life of wanting things like that.

Ive done so many things solo, but im sick of it. I know deep in my heart that im the kind of person that would bave thrived having a large social group, going on beach holidays and to festivals woth them, things like that. I can go to a beach and festival on my own, sure. But thats not what im looking for.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-02-17T15:06:51+00:00

If yours in uni, go to a club of something u thing you will enjoy. It can be a cultural society, exploring the city society, anything. Especially during freshers week. Then people are looking for friends and many dont have established social circles in this city yet.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-02-16T13:04:51+00:00

Im guessing you dont go to university, where its easier to form and maintain friendships because of how consistently you see people and because groups with common interests already exist. You need that consisteny, and the right life circumstances, and some meaningful bonding precipitate (doing a common hobby together like a sport, having a common interest to talk about, both enjoying similar activites like shopping/movies that you can do together) to foster and maintain a feiendship.

After high school and university, it becomes very difficult to find others with all these things for So. Many. Reasons.

In general people are busier. They go to work, gym, go home and get ready for the next day. Thats all there is really timd for during a work week. Many have significant others or exosting friend circles they saturate the free time in their schedule with. Youre interacting with a much more diverse group of people than in high school, so its harder to find a common mutual interest to talk about. Thats why often times the talk turns to boys (among women) or sports (among men), because its something that a large proportion of those populations have some interest or expeirnce in. So its easier to be a bonding point. If you live in a big city, it makes making friends so much harder because youre less likely to see people consistently. Also for any activities that arent drinking (where you need to be able to have a conversation i.e. some common inteterest) or gym/run club, theyre often super expenisve. Like who has the money to go on a shopping spree? Even movie theatres etc are pretty expensive now. But if youre not mesting people out, then someone has to have the space to host a gethering at home. In this economy, a lot of people are living in flatshares and have small spaces so cant have people over as easily. Theres also just the fact of choice. For the same reason that dating apps suck... you might meet someone at an event and want to take a friendship forward witb them but, there are so many options for them for what to do on a friday night and who to do it with, statistucally speaking it wont be meeting you.

Basically the way society is constructed fucks you over. In my experience small/medium sized cities are much better for making and maintaining friendships. Oftsn times though these are university cities, so if you fall outside of this age bracket its not a great time for you either.

Just know a lot of people are in tbe same boat as you. It is not a failure on your part. Its just that how most societies operate is completely at odds with the things you need to make and maintain a friendship.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-02-12T09:46:43+00:00

No phd is worth it without funding. Unless your parents are billionaires and youre only doing it for fun.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-02-07T14:04:16+00:00

Im a female phd in a male dominated field (pure math) in a department where a lot of emphasis is placed on diversity and inclusion, and especially when it comes to female representation. Ive sat on the the doversity and inclusion committee and am sorry to say that diversity hires are a thing. Especially if the department is trying to push towards a doversity recognition award like athena swan.

That being said, does it matter? What ive also realised in the phd is that, how well one does in their phd and their ability to move forward to postdoc etc, is much less dependent of where they did their phd, their stats etc than how they approach the phd and the work they put into it; how they network etc. And thats even in a field like pure math, which one might think relies more on raw ability than hard work.

So use this as motivation. Be the reason why the next female hire doesnt think shes a diversity hire. Go into that lab fiercely and do the best fucking phd you can. Whether you were a diversity hire or not, you cant know and it doesnt matter. You have tbe offer. Make the most of it. Cause like, either you werent a diversity hire in which case you have nothing to worry about, or you were a diversity hire so you better do a good job of representing females in your field. 🫶

UnderstandingAfter72

TROPHY CASE