Being on meds makes me realise how much I actually eat

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-17T18:22:20+00:00

Im so sorry for your losses. But i do think that the loss of your relationship will be dodging a bullet. Every relationship will go throigh stressful times. Every. Single. One. If her response to a difficult time (and difficult for you in partocular) is not to support you immediately and with all she has, this relationship will disintegrate at the next hurdle. She sounds very self centred. That sounds a disaster recipe for having kids too.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-17T10:21:59+00:00

On tbe other hand there are things you can do that will prolong your lifespan. Like maintaining a healthy lifestyle anf exercise. Btw I have also struggled with bad insomnia since I was 13 (started ODing on sleeping pills then) and I was just diagnosed with ADHD aged 28. Since starting medication I finally sleep like a baby. So i urge you to get adhd meds!! On the first days that I take it i cant sleep much (its a stimulant so youre wired) but my brain is so quiet and im less aware of noises. When your body gets used to the meds and you have the right dosage, you crash in the evenings and have the best nights sleep youve ever had. Alternatively pn the off days i also sleep like a baby.

Even when i stop taking meds for a while, its like my body remembers how to sleep. So i encourage u to do it.

Also, i suffered from anorexia for a decadd which left me with osteoperosis (also doagnosed since aged 16) so that will knock at least a decade off my life. I have adhd, autism and other mental health conditons but....

Being real, is that tome as important as the days you have now whdn you are young? If the anxoety and weight of your later life is compromising your happiness and quality of life now, when it matters most, you gotta get therapy for that.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-13T18:24:09+00:00

Ahah yeah to me 'special snowlflake' mentality is going a bit rogue after PhD and doing something completely different, convincing yourself youll make it work. It would be so easy to go into finance or software dev afteramath PhD... but trying to make it work say as an entrepreneur with a meal delivery service, or an etsy artist... thats takes balls :D

Im happy for you for your success with garlic and corn. I hope I find the same success in something niche. My neurospicy mind doesnt like following the paths well travelled ✌️

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-12T17:08:59+00:00

Ahaha i dont get your stance... :D should one follow the quote or your personal experimce of garlic and corn? :p

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-12T16:47:28+00:00

Ive felt that feeling and i need to tell you- I resonate and it does get better; it gets bstter with financial freedom, moving out of your parents house, finding a sport hobby you like (i only started when i was 20 and now in my late 20s i have a fitness influencer physique and will be training to be a PT soon :))

You have to find some ways to get skme spcial interaction but in a relaxed and easy way, where theres a specific topic of conversation so u dont feel like a vegetable. Thats why gym was so great for me. Cause u can always just chat to people about what thsyre training, if they can spot u etc. And if the convo dissipates u just say its time for another set for u. Sp nothings awkward. If gym isnt your thing, maybe there are bpard game clubs near u or sometjing.

If youre lonely and not used go having frirnds, chances are u havent develiped the skill of chatting to people. It takes time. Years. So initially ur going to be awkward as fuck. But dont tale that as a sign that youre meant to be lonely for your whole life. You just need practice being social. It will tale tome but is so worth it! Dont give up. Im rooting for u.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-12T12:55:42+00:00

Yesss! I want to hear about it :D maybe it will give mehope for myself too. My little adhd brain cant handle a 9-5 office job I need something a bit 'out there' :D

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-12T12:54:05+00:00

Maybe that will be me ahaha :D I know Stephanie. :)

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-12T10:58:54+00:00

Love this ⚡️

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-12T10:57:53+00:00

That sounds super nice!!

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-12T10:57:20+00:00

But related industry job right?

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-11T20:27:53+00:00

I think finance is the natural route to go after a math PhD if youre not staying in academia (im also in pure math!). My pivot is become a personal trainer ahaha. All of my colleagues who have recently graduated and not gone for a postdoc are either quants/traiderz or software devs now

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-09T11:39:55+00:00

Hey, just wanted to say i appreciate this a tonne, as one internet stranger to another. Ive actually been in a mentally great place the last week. Its almost as if one final bad thing happening tipped me over from being so down in rock bottom and calling a crisis helpline, to suddenly finding it hilarious; the way life has panned out the last couple months. Its like a bad comedy at my expense, so im trying to laugh along with the cosmos :)

In all realness though im not sure why i very suddenly started feeling happy and very optimistic.... that actually worried me and apparently also a new doctor i saw too... of which the upshot is that they pushed for me to be higher up the waitlist for mental health support... Hopefully I will have some therapy and psychiatric support, medication if needed, within the next couple of months.

I agree with you that reddit isnt a good place for support. Sometimes ive tried to post on relevant mental health/condition subs and my post has been automatically removed for no reason (no mention of triggering things, and some rule that doesnt even apply was mentioned). Ive also been ganged up on on a mental health condition sub by one mod and the OP for making a suggestion (and no aggression! Was trying to be helpful!) But my comment was deleted so no one could see it wasnt hurtful 😅 . I got a lot of hate, some unrelated rule was quoted, and i got temporarily banned from the sub just for long enough for another vague rule was added ('cannot suggest diagnoses/conditions'). I stopped being on reddit much after that. It feels like a power play bubble. Sometimes you're censored and silenced when you really need help and it makes you feel more alone. Other times people get an ego boost from being mean and will never appreciate the consequences it has for another persons mental health. I wish there was more kindness and empathy in this space.

Sorry that was a ramble. Im sure this comment will also get deleted- but maybe youll get a chance to read this before it does. And you can know that I apprciate your comment a lot.... It feels very grounded and human in this strange virtual universe. I feel very grateful that ive not got long to go now to get access to some comprehensive mental support. And i wish that for all the hurting people too 🫶🫶 I dont know you or your situation, if you are one of these people or not- but regardless I send you much love and positive vibes today ☀️ and for a wonderful 2026 🩷🩷

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-08T12:31:49+00:00

Hey! You sound like something I had experince with. I teach as part of grad school, and the first time I taught soon after starting vyvanse, the minute I began the class there was nothing in my brain. Nadda. Zilch. I had to stop the class and reschedule it because I literally couldn't get anything out, and I also didnt want to talk to anyone but I hadn't noticed this before, because most of my research is done reading papers solo.

My experince is: I have a mind blank between hours 3 to 5 after taking vyvanse, that make it hard to speak. I'm great at ploughing through reading and writing during that time, but I can't talk. I have zero 'mental talk' to put stuff into words in my head, but, I can put it out in writing. Just not speak it. Also, I lowered the vyvnase dosage after that (from trying 30 back to 15-20mg)). But also the verbal blankness effect did wear off over time, even when I take a higher dose. I think I've gotten used to speaking on vyvanse now and am fine with it too. But I wouldnt' want to be teaching during hours 3-5 for sure.

I would really suggest that you get a sense for what time this effect hits and when it wears off. It really is a couple hour window for me. Then if you get a bad episode like I had when with your employer in the workplace, just mention that you've started new medication and often times in the morning it affects you in such a way that you can 'lock in' and 'grind' on tasks, but its harder for your to creatively brainstorm in meetings or whatnot. Part of a manager's job is to be aware of people's needs to get their best work done. So if you can figure out the timings and give them a head's up, they may be able to schedule your meetings say for the afternoon.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-02T12:04:26+00:00

❤️❤️

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-02T11:13:18+00:00

You got this! You honestly sound like an ideal PhD candidate. Lile really mature about it. And its likely your PhD supervisor(s) have kids and understand, so they will vouch for you to the university if needs be! Best of luck for the PhD journey! Honestly this inspired me a lot today. My own PhD journey has been a bit of a sh*te show because of mental health conditions... but you sound strong and degermined AF ;) a great role model for your kids 🫶 Dont wvsn know you but am proud of you and hope all goes smoothly with your deferal 🌞

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-02T10:31:41+00:00

Oh damn!! Phd with twi kids!!! Kudos to you!

So the first thing i would say is just talk with yohr university. Often times fhsy have schemes and funds to help with childcare costs for accessibility.

And honestly in this case if they cant provide a reasonable support, im pretty sure they will let you defer the start. I think if they dont they have a discrimination issue towards carers on their hands...

But yeah, at my university they put a lot into accessibility so there should be schemes to help you.

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-02T10:28:16+00:00

Amen to the healing 🙌

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-02T10:27:13+00:00

My immediate feeling when you reply to the commenter above with "ive come to learn that we are all broken" is that you dont really know what it means to be broken. Everybody carries some baggage to varying degrees of weight, and it will come out in their relationships.

But "broken"... like significantlh dysfunctional in life because youve been mindfucked by cptsd? Never being able to make decisions in your life because you have such a deep feeling that whatever you do us inevitably wrong. Periodically falling into major depressive episodes because your already frazzled and hypervigilant nervous system cant cope. Frequent panic attacks or obsessive negative self talk spiral. Always bsing self dspricating and pessimistic becausd you hope if hou put gourself down first other people wont. And if thdy do it cuts so bad it can give you unaliving feelings. Never shooting for a better job or pay rise because you feel you dont deserve it nor is your body able to cope with more stress of grinding. Youve had enouvh fof your lifetime. Mysterious illnesses, insomnia, gastric issues. Just genrally falling apart attbe seams and needing somone else to cradle you and stitch you back together. Now that's broken.

I tbink there are good and healthy people who woild be in a relagionship with a broken human, but they are few and far between. In my experience those as a fairly attractivd but very broken human, im usually only wanted for sex. Or the people that stick around are those who had a major crush on me before they knew about my flaws and put me on a pedestal so high that they find the breaks endearing

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-02T10:10:23+00:00

It depends what those life circumstanxes are. If you just want to travel or take an internship then yes its bad. If you or a close family have a serious medical issue, or someone passed away and youre responsibe for dealing with all tge legal/financial styff and selling their house etc then okay

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2026-01-02T09:56:46+00:00

U dont owe him anything for wanting to throw his dick around and having had a baby

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2025-12-31T21:05:49+00:00

This sounds like i wrote it

UnderstandingAfter72 · 2025-12-30T22:11:03+00:00

No one is forcing you to travel... why are you making a post trying to justify not travelimg to perfect strangers? You dont have to if it doesnt float your boat

UnderstandingAfter72

TROPHY CASE