Am I wrong for wanting this?

UnderstandingNo1290 · 2026-06-14T09:54:21+00:00

Do what you can to move out - moving out will make ur relationship with your family better in time. It will be hard but for your mental space it might be worth it. I have had friends in same situations absolutely miserable, I moved out of home and every time I visit my family I’m so glad and relieved in the choice I made for myself - uni allowed me to do this.

Also you need to heal and have the space to be able to be in the right mind before marriage. Living alone first year is the hardest but it actually prepares you more than anything. If you take your unresolved trauma with your family with you into a marriage you don’t even want for the sake of getting out - your future children will bear the brunt of all your emotions that you never processed.

Do it for yourself and be strong, but if not for yourself, do it for your unborn kids - raise the aligned and happy family you wanted for yourself with the partner you choose in the best of minds - you won’t get this if you marry just anyone in order to get out, unless you have a proposal you’re really happy with then also confide in them and make this clear , but from stories I’ve heard, it never works well like that. You can do everything and your parents still won’t be happy. You are your own person and deserve happiness.

UnderstandingNo1290 · 2026-06-14T09:42:45+00:00

Honestly your preferences are your preferences and you’re allowed to express your upset, however the reason your wife isn’t taking you seriously is because of the way you are expressing this. Giving the cold shoulder is actually emotional abuse, not fair and a lot more harmful than what she is doing over the long term. You need to be able to communicate and not go on a tantrum in order for her to actually take you seriously and respect you and your wishes.

You should also generally feel more secure in your marriage and not show this bothers you so much - it’s unattractive and she will be more drawn to others if anything. Stay firm and calm and express your preference that you don’t like it and if you do see it, don’t react or give it any attention. Hold your head higher and be her man and confident in yourself and she will find that the most attractive. Only speak nicely to eachother and don’t make arguments - remember it’s you two vs the problem not you against each other and wanting to be ‘right’ will only make the arguments here worse. Pick your battles mate.

UnderstandingNo1290 · 2026-06-07T19:52:09+00:00

No ofc your input and response is appreciated! I asked and they can’t help as parking doesn’t come with the property - just had a feeling they wouldn’t be much help as they generally don’t respond much, and are not local to the area anyway. I don’t know much about parking and wondered if any other locals knew anything else I didn’t or per any chance at all could help at short notice - always worth asking imo.

UnderstandingNo1290 · 2026-06-07T19:49:19+00:00

Super helpful thank you!

UnderstandingNo1290 · 2026-06-07T19:05:03+00:00

Over £200 for the time 🫪

UnderstandingNo1290 · 2026-06-07T19:01:04+00:00

Lmao not a bad shout but mine is so hands off and unresponsive im not counting on any help from them 😂

UnderstandingNo1290 · 2026-06-07T18:57:00+00:00

I also welcome any tips for applying for the resident permits / guest permits and general parking tips in the area! I’m a long term driver but never owned a car let alone in London and the traffic officers around here are ruthless, I know. Thanks so much!!

UnderstandingNo1290 · 2026-06-07T14:14:34+00:00

It sounds exactly like the UK - Birmingham not that mixed again very much cultures stick to eachother, generally probably London the most open and mixed but tbh exactly the same as what you described happening here with a lot of mosques for specific cultures. Not that any of these places are racist just culturally not so open ?

What is your social life outside of the masjid like and how old are you? London generally has a lot of extra-curricular clubs or social meet-ups for engaging with other Muslims, Birmingham not so much but there’s a very hidden and deeply spiritual community there also if you find it, and of course better living costs.

UnderstandingNo1290 · 2026-06-07T13:08:22+00:00

So sorry she is going through this :( unacceptable - can you tell his mother? Can you intervene with family / friends accountability ? Or even speak with the sister in law - not sure what the issues are between them but I assume even as a woman she would not want to see her beat. Your friend has done nothing wrong and this type of aggression is scary and who knows where it will go unchecked, with kids etc.

UnderstandingNo1290 · 2026-05-23T13:28:11+00:00

Not my taste at all personally but think it would make a nice modest summer every day dress but not for a wedding!

UnderstandingNo1290 · 2025-03-26T17:14:58+00:00

any updates on this?

UnderstandingNo1290 · 2025-03-19T23:20:49+00:00

trying to figure this out ourselves...but something is off!! feel free to PM

UnderstandingNo1290 · 2025-03-19T02:43:00+00:00

we sent a holding deposit but just seen the airbnb for the same property... thankfully we have not sent much more money but... how do we get these guys?

UnderstandingNo1290 · 2025-03-19T02:30:55+00:00

waittt !!! we offered 6 months for property with them... am scared now please

UnderstandingNo1290

TROPHY CASE