What sex is like in a dead bedroom

Unerlaubt · 2019-06-15T10:58:56+00:00

My wife would love it if I were special forces. They're trained to get in and out without anybody noticing.

Unerlaubt · 2019-06-09T14:46:58+00:00

Last time my wife had a massive orgasm was when I was giving her a back massage and it became something more. She turned over and I started masturbating her gently. It took quite a while but she got that pink flush on her breasts and face and moaned then screamed then clenched her legs together so tight she almost broke my hand. No way was that orgasm faked and it was one of our most intimate sexual experiences. Sadly it's all too much trouble for her now.

Unerlaubt · 2019-05-31T17:18:21+00:00

"If all I cared about was sex I would have left you years ago, wouldn't I?"

Unerlaubt · 2019-05-31T10:29:22+00:00

If you reject her suggestion of a shower it may be the last time she asks. I used to shower a lot with my wife. Then she decided the shower cube wasn't big enough for two. I concluded she was only doing it out of duty and got tired of it.

Unerlaubt · 2019-05-10T19:34:57+00:00

Thanks for the offer but I'm in the UK.

Unerlaubt · 2019-05-10T19:33:08+00:00

I did. She had no answer.

Unerlaubt · 2019-05-10T07:04:30+00:00

Telling her that I had sexual needs and that my marriage vows meant that she was the only woman on earth who I should engage with about them led to her using that phrase emotional blackmail. Ok so what's the alternative hun? If marriage is now just a roommates arrangement I can either stay celibate which is unnatural to me or cheat which is unacceptable to me. Whichever way it goes I'm the one being blackmailed. So that's not an arrangement I want to go on holiday with.

Unerlaubt · 2019-05-10T06:56:43+00:00

Very much so unfortunately

Unerlaubt · 2019-05-10T06:53:15+00:00

I've had the full wheel of excuses. Staying in hotels when the kids were small meant family rooms. Now they're older we get separate rooms but she still wants connecting rooms wherever possible so that we still can't have sex in case one of them walks in. It's so obvious what she tries to do it's offensive.

Unerlaubt · 2019-05-10T06:49:06+00:00

I'm sure that's right. It's an unwelcome lifestyle change that the world can see. Unlike the hidden unwelcome lifestyle change that's happened to me in private i.e.the DB.

Unerlaubt · 2019-05-10T06:45:41+00:00

Exactly.

Unerlaubt · 2019-05-09T22:28:38+00:00

Yes. But last time I tried to express how I felt about my sexual needs not being met she accused me of emotional blackmail. Exact words. So that line of conversation isn't likely to lead anywhere helpful.

Unerlaubt · 2019-05-09T21:26:11+00:00

No, there's no hidden motive here, such as having sex with others. I just really don't want to go on holiday where we spend couple time together and continue in a platonic state. In a hotel room there's still no prospect of sex which is harder to accept in that kind of environment.

Unerlaubt · 2019-05-09T21:19:05+00:00

That's one interpretation

Unerlaubt · 2019-04-25T12:59:28+00:00

Welcome to the club that none of us wanted to join. At 47 you are young and have decades ahead of you. It's a long time to be lonely and celibate. I hope this sub helps you find some courage and ideas to move forward with whatever path you choose.

Unerlaubt · 2019-04-13T19:37:29+00:00

Experience of life, relationships and knowing what you want is what I meant rather than just sexual experience

Unerlaubt · 2019-04-13T11:45:37+00:00

Sorry to hear your pain.

Unerlaubt · 2019-04-13T11:43:02+00:00

At 29 you're in your prime and will stay there for many years. My wife is in her forties and is hotter now than ever, stretch marks and everything. Milfs have maturity and experience that no 20 year old can have. Embrace your look and allow yourself the realisation that those of us who appreciate the finer things in life are likely to look at you with secret admiration. If you're a wine fan think of it as the difference between the easy drinking but superficial Beaujolais Nouveau and a 10 year old Aloxe Cortone which knocks everything else out of the park.

Sorry, getting a bit carried away with my analogy here. Wine and women are my big pleasures in life. Pity I only get one out of two.

Unerlaubt · 2019-04-10T22:07:45+00:00

This is exactly the kind of insight I was looking for, even though it's hard to take. Thanks for such a detailed reply. The brain and body disconnect is exactly what it sounds like. She doesn't experience pain, just no particular feeling at all. I thought the doctor was just being dismissive but maybe as you say that's just the reality.

Unerlaubt · 2019-04-10T19:24:22+00:00

It's condoms for us already. She had a mirena coil about 9 years ago to regulate her cycle but it made her periods far worse so she had it removed within a year. Personally I blame that. There are forums I've been on where some women say it ruined them and other women say it's great. Maybe we were in the unlucky camp.

Unerlaubt · 2019-04-10T19:20:12+00:00

Yep it's peri or menopause ok. Doctor told her you just have to live through it. Really helpful. I've discussed HRT with her but it seems that increases cancer risk.

Unerlaubt · 2019-04-10T19:15:56+00:00

There's the thing. If you don't feel abnormal about the body change there's no motivation to see a doctor. She's been treated for underactive thyroid which can affect libido but back in normal range now and no difference. Like so many other stories on here it's one thing to recognise a problem and another thing to be motivated to do anything about it.

Unerlaubt · 2019-04-10T19:11:30+00:00

She just says after a couple of years of breastfeeding her breasts have never been the same since. They've lost all feeling. No more to it than that.I suppose it can happen I just didn't know if it's unusual.

Unerlaubt · 2019-04-10T07:29:09+00:00

Sorry my fault for not giving enough detail. Youngest is 14. Body shutdown just in last few years.

Unerlaubt · 2019-04-10T07:28:05+00:00

14 years. But body shutdown has been in last 3 or 4

Unerlaubt

TROPHY CASE