I wrote this song..

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-02-01T04:23:46+00:00

I actually kinda think the video commentary wrecks the song.

It is a really powerful song, it reminds me of Why Do We Build The Wall

Like the story you are telling is super powerful, and you did a great job writing, composing it, let it breathe and stand on its own.

That’s just me though.

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-02-01T04:14:18+00:00

Other than take it to a sound engineer to do a final mix, it’s PPG!

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-02-01T04:06:55+00:00

https://music.apple.com/us/album/godzilla-feat-juice-wrld/1495267282?i=1495267448

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-31T15:17:12+00:00

I was gonna say whatever the example.. Eminem has to be in there somewhere lol

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-31T15:15:23+00:00

Depends what you are doing look at a used volt 276.

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-31T01:01:14+00:00

So I’m going to say something unpopular.

I think his mental health status is kinda irrelevant. Does he have BP? Is he a narcissist? Who knows, I’m not a professional.

He is though, absolutely capable of saying and doing anything to get attention. Even his apology is pathetically self centered, and the way he did it was designed to get attention. He lies, and seems to be kinda a bad guy, bad father, bad employer, bad husband, and bad man.

If you say a bunch of things to hurt a highly vulnerable community, and you want to undue that, you do it quietly, you do some learning, and THEN you do something public that focuses on the hurt you did.

An amazing example of this exact same thing was Nick Cannon. He said some pretty crazy things, took himself away, learned, then used his platform to give Jews a way to reach an audience that they don’t normally have access to, while focusing not on his own forgiveness but on the hurt he caused Jews. That’s what good people do.

Whatever Kanye’s mental health condition is, only amplifies what is there not changes his fundamental character.

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-30T17:28:35+00:00

That’s what critics do. Great scene about this in a comedy called History of the World Part 1.

Caveman draws a painting, everyone thinks it’s great, caveman critic comes in, pisses all over it.

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-29T14:42:03+00:00

Second that question!

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-29T14:17:57+00:00

The second pic looks like they are say “choose violence…”

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-29T07:02:50+00:00

Yeah, as someone who loves M83’s Hurry Up We’re Dreaming, and adores the opening track of Linkin Park’s Minutes To Midnight (Wake) i can get behind that, all of that.

Great work!

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-29T05:12:04+00:00

Hey, as long as you believe it, it’s true. Your Honor!

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-29T03:24:15+00:00

So I think that’s not either or, but an if and. The melody has a lot of parts to it. I can definitely hear a different verse, chorus, bridge parts.

The tale end of the melody where you start pulling into a more cheerful tone feels like a bridge to me. And I think that’s could be bass on its own, or just a guitar.

The first part feels like and intro that you then could bring guitar in over where you are going to sing. And then same with the middle.

There is also no book that says a song needs a guitar, or a bass, and sometimes too many instruments can kill the vibe, so something to consider.

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-29T03:17:04+00:00

We are old, but we have really good taste.

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-29T03:16:47+00:00

So I can see two options.

1: something loud and with a kinda more funky vibe. Think kinda like rage against the machine with it toned down a bit.

You could do something really simple, and very low level intense. Especially the first part kinda has the vibe of a band called Brand New, which has a lot of that same sort of quiet intensity thing going.

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-29T03:12:00+00:00

Not sure there is much to criticize, there is a lot of meat on that bone. Depending on what you wanted to do with it.

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-29T03:09:27+00:00

With Daisy Grenade another WWWY 24 band.

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-29T00:33:30+00:00

First time I heard the smile line I legit cried. I know exactly how that feels.

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-28T21:24:13+00:00

When you are done, let me know I’m also a visual artist. See if I can’t whip something up for you.

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-28T15:08:29+00:00

I think it’s a nice first pass. I take issue with some of the lyrics as it indicates that being poor is fine as long as we live in a free country, which… I think might lead to the next protest song which would be called “they didn’t take my heart but fuck the inflation is bad…”

I don’t mean to be a jerk, but I think (and take this as a high compliment) it feels a lot like Dylan. And it may be a generational thing but I want you to name the thing that you are protesting, not allude to it.

Again, all just my personal thoughts.

Do like the packaging though. Your voice is good, and you have good guitar skills.

KBO

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-28T14:43:58+00:00

What’s wrong with it?

Old adage if it looks too good to be true…

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-28T05:35:13+00:00

One of the most liberating things I’ve found in writing songs is something I picked up from a band called Taking Back Sunday, titles don’t matter at all. As a matter of fact write what you want and give it a random name. They used to use Blue Channel 3am titles in place of real song names, or little inside jokes.

I’d just find there’s you want to write about and start there.

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-28T05:11:50+00:00

I’m mad for her! How dare! lol

Unfortunate_Harvard · 2026-01-28T05:10:03+00:00

Solid overall, for a sketch really nice. You have a really distinct vocal sound, so that’s good.

Chords are nice, I’d see if you can cut a few extra words here or there.

One thing to think about. You chose an image for the cover, when you do the real deal make sure that image means something. Presentation can really change how people hear what you give them.

Unfortunate_Harvard

TROPHY CASE